Discovery Starts Production

It's been a long road, getting from there to here - wait, wait, wrong show. According to the video above, Star Trek: Discovery has finally started production, though CBS is no longer committing to a broadcast date of any sort save "sometime in 2017." There are some intriguing glimpses here - at the very least the uniforms look snazzy, and it looks like the bridge set is going to be impressive. 

Dad's 75th

Today Dad turned 75! We celebrated the event a little early, on Saturday.

Sean made an amazing dinner, consisting of chicken breasts stuffed with smoked cheddar and apples with a side of bacon-roasted Brussels sprouts in cheese.

I contributed the salad, in the sense that I purchased it. Sylvia doled it out.

We've arranged for Dad to enjoy a flight with the Edmonton Flying Club at a time of his choice when the weather is nicer.

Special Bonus! I did not manipulate this image; this is how it came off the SD card. I've never seen an artifact quite like this before. Oddly enough, the RAW file looks normal; it's just the camera-created JPG that came out this way. Bizarre. Anyway, happy 75th, Dad, and here's to many more! 

Were I A Trillionaire

If I had a trillion dollars (oh, if I had a trillion dollars..!), I'd build a funky corporate headquarters on a lush Pacific island, powered by the wind and tides, and I'd ask people to come work for me. Everyone would get a nice office; there would be healthy snacks and plentiful amenities and as much vacation time as you like. Room and board and two trips home per year would be included in your benefits package. Each of my 100,000 employees will get paid $100,000 US per year.

What's the job? You decide. The hours? You decide. What value are we adding to the world? Well, you decide that too. Come up with a brilliant project, I'll fund it. Come up with a silly project that's probably doomed to fail, and I'll fund that too.

Earlco's values are easy to remember:

Empathy
Anarchy
Revolution
Love

Do what you love, love who you do it with, have empathy for all, and stir things up. Come work for me! Create something! Invent something! Or just play Frisbee golf all day.

There's only one trick: if we create something that will be of tangible benefit to humanity, we give it away. No patents, no copyright, no profiteering. If I've done the math right, my trillion dollars should give us 100 years to change the world. Probably longer, considering all the interest a trillion dollars generates!

Now, someone give me the trillion, and we'll get started. 

The Splendour of the 70s

The jacket isn't so bad, but the pants! The carpet! The chair! The horror. Check out that sweet vintage John Deere toy, though. And I appear to have a chocolate chip cookie in hand. No wonder I look happy. 

A Warning from Edmonton

A Long Glimpse Backward

In an e-mail discussion about my friend Pete's birthday today, I asserted that surely it was only six or seven years since university, and yet...my math seems to be wrong. Someone took this photo of me sometime between September 1987 and May 1989 in my room at Lister Hall - 119 Kelsey. I still have the Enterprise blueprint on the cork board behind me; I wish I still had the Lister Hall Students Association calendar hanging underneath it, or even the Ship/Marina pizza menu next to the calendar.

Even more, I wish I remembered who took the photo. I look rather goofy, but it's nice to have an image of the stuff in the background.

More importantly, happy birthday, Pete!

Still Life with Chair and Abstract

Up the Down Elevator

AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH

Double Bills of the 2050s Drive-Ins

The Woman Who Woke
The Chimp That Conquered Eternity

Neil Armstrong vs. the Gorilla Prince
Ancient Pyramids of New York

The Cars That Murdered Yesterday
Night of the Bowel Beast

Hir Last Sacrifice
Donald's Ark

Return of the Pharaohs
The Last Cheeseburger

Behold Antarctica
Mausoleum of the Damned

Dynamite Wildcats and the Champions of Anarchy
Wage Slaves of the Rocket Robber Barons

The Human Tide
Tarzan and the Underwater City

100 Years of Cinema

What I love most about the Internet is the way it makes it possible for independent creators to easily share their work with a worldwide audience. Of course, without traditional marketing, a lot of that content, no matter how excellent, goes unnoticed.

That's why I'm writing about One Hundred Years of Cinema, a YouTube channel featuring short videos of cinema innovations and history - one per year, starting in 1915. So far, the creator is up to 1929, so it may be some time before we get to see the conclusion, but it's a fun ride nonetheless.

If you're interested in cinema history, give one or two of the videos a try. I've embedded one of my favourites below.

My First NHL Game

Thanks to the generosity of my employer, I was able to enjoy (in my own particular manner) my first ever NHL hockey game. I'm not a sports fan, but I was certainly impressed by the spectacle of (taxpayer-subsidized) Rogers Place and all the high-tech tomfoolery that surrounds the hockey game itself. The scoreboard hanging over the ice is massive, with utterly spectacular resolution; I marvelled at it the whole game. Technicians can project whatever they want onto the ice, such as the team logos seen in this image. During the game I suggested to Sean that a clever coach would project additional hockey pucks onto the ice to confuse enemy players. I'd laugh and laugh!

Seeing a game live has not transformed me into a hockey fan, and as ever I feel sad that I can't share the heightened emotions of the real fans as they watch. As with my apathy toward children and pets, I seem to be lacking certain common human instincts. Instead, I find myself analyzing the non-stop assault on the senses that occurs during the game; except when the players are actually playing, music blares from all sides, animation lights up the rink and the electronic billboards circling the stands, and propaganda films play on the scoreboard. Indeed, the hidden ringmaster exhorts the crowd to "GET LOUD" at various points during the game, and the crowds dutifully agree. I was reminded yet again how easy it is to manipulate crowds with words, images and sounds. We are so easily programmed, and I'm certainly not excepting myself; I just respond to different programming languages.

Part of me realizes this is all (relatively) harmless fun, but another part of me sees in this kind of event a more refined version of the old gladiatorial arena. I guess you can call this progress, though, as no one dies and the violence is punished rather than rewarded (textually; the subtext is something else again).

I'd never willingly pay to see a hockey game, but I'm glad I had the opportunity to see one simply so that I can better understand what moves other people.

Neon Sign Museum

Tonight Sean and I went to my first NHL hockey game, which I'll post about tomorrow. But in the meantime, how cool is Edmonton's neon sign museum? This is the first time I've seen it. I'll have to come back with a better camera and a tripod sometime. 

The Agony and the Ecstasy and the Missing Once Upon a Time

Oh, Amazon - cornucopia of delights -
How sweet to see your packages in my mailbox
How bitter the discovery
When boxes contain parts 2 and 3
And Part 1 will not arrive for another month
And yet I cannot forsake thee
My online addiction
My consumer heroin

Minute Muffler Blimp

I shot this image at an air show in 1990. I probably should have cropped out the off-kilter horizon, but somehow I think it adds to the goofy charm of the Minute Muffler blimp. Does Minute Muffler still exist? If yes, this counts as an advertising success.

Note the lens flare pentagram. I guess that's the iris opening up and being captured in the glass. Or it could be a photonic energy weapon shot from the bow of the blimp. Pew pew! 

Ungood Photo Day: Cuisinartless

For some unknown reason, I (for I presume it was me) shot this blurry, white-imbalanced photo of Dad using a food processor to shred some lettuce. At least, I think that's what he was doing; the blurriness of the photo makes it hard to tell.

Everything about this photo is bad. It's off-colour, the composition is needlessly busy, and of course it's out of focus. Even the subject is almost inherently uninteresting. So what was I thinking? Probably something along the lines of "Oh, I have one more frame to shoot before I can get this roll developed." 

Farewell to the Last Man on the Moon

Gene Cernan, the last human being to walk on the moon, has died. Naturally I didn't know Cernan, and as always I feel a strange twinge when the death of a celebrity hits me harder than that of any less famous person, but Cernan's work, like those of the other astronauts, moved me profoundly as a child. And to this day, I'm amazed that the men who walked on the moon were and are my contemporaries.

Cold war politics aside, manned exploration of the moon stands as one of humanity's most profound and incredible achievements, and I am shocked that now half of the men that walked on the moon are gone before they could see anyone return. I hope at least a few of them live to see people continue humanity's exploration of the solar system before they, too, pass on. 

The Post of Christmas Passed

Sylvia and I actually decorated for Christmas this year. Here are a few images for posterity. The decorations will come down...eventually. 

The Blue Bird of 1973

Sometime in 1973, either my parents or one of my aunts or uncles captured this shot of a blue bird enjoying the hospitality of a bird house on the Etsell farm in southern Manitoba. The colour is quite striking. 

Components of a Satisfying Shipwreck Story

Being marooned on a tropical island would probably not be much fun in real life, but in popular culture it's not always a completely bad thing - witness Gilligan's Island, for example, or Lost.

Living out the ideal tropical island fantasy can be simulated through the medium of role-playing games. I am not aware of an existing role-playing game of this type, though I'm sure they exist; it also seems like good fodder for a computer RPG. What tropes are necessary to create a satisfying tropical island experience?

• A shipwreck in a tropical climate
• Washing up on a sandy beach
• Salvaging supplies and food from the wreck (ideally toiletries, clothes, hunting, fishing and cooking equipment, guns and ammunition, entertainment (chiefly books), personal items, navigation tools, fire-making tools, cutlery, towels, blankets, pillows, footwear, swords, knives, spyglass, a radio or cell phone if temporally appropriate, etc.)
• The possibility of other survivors, who could be allies or enemies
• Loneliness
• The Waterfall (for bathing and drinking water)
• The Hot Spring (for hot baths)
• Coconut palms
• Banana trees (bushes?)
• Plentiful fish and pigs 
• Mysterious, initially unseen human inhabitants of the island, who may be good or evil
• A gorilla or two
• Parrots
• Pirates
• Building a shelter, preferably an expansive treehouse
• Eventual romance
• Exploration of the island's interior
• Mysterious ruins
• Caves
• Snakes
• Mountains
• Creating fire
• Learning how to hunt/fish
• Writing in your diary for posterity
• Sending messages in bottles
• Tropical storms
• Occasional visitors who for one reason or another can't rescue you
• A raft for exploring the river or circumnavigating the island
• The eventual, inevitable escape attempt and/or bringing civilization to the island

Character Classes!

Diplomat

Scientist

Writer

Ship Captain

First Mate

Ship Officer

Crewman

Stowaway

Passenger

Nobility

Pirate

Musician

Actor

Gravedigger

Rat Catcher

Farmer

Settler

Character Traits!

Strength

Survival

Willpower

Cunning

Wits

Charisma

Character Skills!

Fishing

Foraging

Hunting

Carpentry

Sewing

Cooking

Navigation

Repair

Diplomacy

Writing

Swordfighting

Gunnery

Brawling

Fire-making

Fermenting

Swimming

Orientation

Meditation

Language(s) (specify)

Shipwreck Cause Table

Mutiny - marooned ashore in rowboat with supplies

Storm - wrecked on reefs

Human Error - navigator crashes into uncharted island

Becalmed/out of fuel - ship remains intact but useless

Act of God(s) - divine mischief

Bling from the Depths, Bling from the Skies

Let's say we move ahead after all with carbon capture and storage plans. Instead of just storing all that carbon underground, why not build a giant hydraulic press in each carbon cave and squeeze the captured carbon into giant diamonds? We could then sell those diamonds on the world market for big $$$. "We're putting the squeeze on climate change!" could be the program's slogan.

Alternatively, if we could master force field technology, we could surround the earth in a spherical force field and slowly decrease its size, gradually crushing our own atmosphere until the excess carbon is squeezed out. Imagine, a rainfall of diamonds that covers the whole planet!

Flin Flon Still Life

We had four of the collapsible tables upon which this flower pot rests. They were very good at collapsing, but we kept them until at least the mid-1990s. 

Swimming to Antarctica

I'm swimming off the snow-white coast of Antarctica, but I don't feel the chill of the frigid waters thanks to the snowsuit I'm wearing. A buoy bobs up and down on the waves, containing a large orange emergency light. I activate the buoy and the light begins to flash.

Having done my duty, I turn back toward the continent. The ocean stretches out forever, all around me, vast and terrifying. I recall an emergency manual that contained advice on how to avoid being swept away into that deadly eternity, but I don't remember the lessons themselves, so I just keep swimming for the shore. It's so small on the horizon.

Eventually I wash up on the rocks. I check the data pad on my wrist and see that there are a number of escape options. I could fly straight north to Australia, straight north to the empty expanse of the Pacific, straight north to Chile, or straight north to a tiny coastal community of South Africa, called Freepoint. Evacuation to Freepoint is, appropriately enough, free, and advertised as a $400 value. Moreover, Freepoint is supposed to be extremely welcoming to tourists and refugees. I touch that option, and am whisked away.

A Moment of Stress

The Western Board of Music, where I served as Executive Director for about a year and a half in the mid-90s, had a suite of custom-built software I used to schedule student exams and record their grades. It was cumbersome and awful, and as you can see here, caused some frustration. 

New Selection of Bonsai

I shot this just after I started working for the publishing department of Hole's in St. Albert, back in 1998. Bruce encouraged me to wander about the property in search of stories, to learn about the way the greenhouses operated, or just to clear my head. It was a nice perk, and I believe it helped the books I contributed to.

This would be a better photo if the Hole's sign itself weren't so underexposed. Maybe it's something I can fix with Photoshop; it would be nice if you could see more of the cloud reflections in the sign. I like the lens flare.

It's hard to believe I was in my 20s when I shot this, almost 19 years ago. I didn't buy any bonsai. 

Kid Deadshot