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Friday, February 18, 2022

Freedom Convoy (with apologies to C.W. McCall)

(Ah, breaker one-nine this here’s the Freedom Truck
You gotta copy on me, Flu Trux Klan, c’mon?
Ah yeah 10-40, Flu Trux Klan, fer sure, fer shure
By golly it’s clean clear to Lib Town, c’mon
Yeah, that’s a big 10-4 there, Flu Klan
Yeah, we’ll definitely get the snowflakes, good buddy
Mercy sakes alive, looks like we got us a Freedom Convoy)

Was the height of the ‘cron in February
In a Kenworth haulin’ flags
We’ll fly ‘em upside-down in Ottawa town
Our faces free of rags
We represent all the diff’rent races
Yeah, every shade of white
We’re gonna prove that COVID’s fake
By offending everyone in sight

‘Cause we got a Freedom Convoy
Whether or not it makes sense
Yeah we got a Freedom Convoy
And don’t you dare call us dense
We got a Freedom Convoy
Ain’t logic gonna get in our way
Yeah, we’re gonna roll this convoy
Until the Judgement Day

(Ah, breaker, Flu Trux Klan, this here’s the Truck)
(Hey, you wanna hide those swastikas?)
(Yeah, 10-4, the Fake News is makin’ us look bad)
(Better dance on some war memorials to distract ‘em)

Before long the locals were gettin’ riled
With us hollerin’ and honkin’ all night
But with the police on our side we had nothin’ to hide
We could park anywhere without a care
And piss on everything and everyone in sight

We’ll vandalize that Terry Fox
Ignore the statue’s silence
‘Cause we all know cancer patients don’t rely on science

Oh, we got a Freedom Convoy
Honkin’ through the night
Yeah, we got a Freedom Convoy
But nobody gets our plight
Support the Freedom Convoy
Ain’t nothin’ gonna get in our way
We got money from GoFundMe
And big donors from the USA

Convoy! (Ah, what’s that, Flu Klan? GoFundMe dropped us?)

Convoy! (One of our leaders wants to shoot anyone wearing masks?)

(Mercy Sakes, this is getting a little out of hand)

(Can I go home now?)