John Carpenter's The Thing (1982) is one of my favourite films, and one of a select few movies I like to call "perfect." By that I mean I can find no flaws in performance, editing, sound, story, or any of the other qualities that create a masterpiece.
The Thing needs no sequel. Therefore, I have concocted a list of possible titles for said unnecessary sequel:
5 comments:
I think "Needless Things" is the best as it also describes the sequel.
Unfortunately, "8 Heads In A Duffel Bag" has already been taken as a movie title, but you can still imagine the heads as Things.
"Things 2 Come" gets my vote, so does that poster (given that it's AI). The original Thing movie poster was made by Drew Struzan, one of my more favourite illustrators - he did the Blade Runner poster among others.
The poster was painted in a day, based on a rushed photograph of the artist in a winter parka and was couriered to the studio for photography with acrylic paint that was still wet.
https://filmstories.co.uk/features/the-thing-the-story-behind-drew-struzans-iconic-poster/
I had to sleep on this, but I came up with "There's Some Thing About Mary"!
The Paul Feig-directed cast of the lady Ghostbusters are all reunited as Antarctic researchers who discover eldritch alien remains near their remote base, and they hasten to bring the Thing they have found inside their laboratory so that it can be thawed. Hilarity ensues, but not too much. The special effects are quite good, though. Bill Murray gets a cameo and he dies horribly. Chris Hemsworth in his best part yet gets turned into a pulsating pile of rancid goo with tentacles. I suppose that could be one of the special effects, or it could be done for real. There's a massive multi-million dollar song-and-dance number that gets cut from the film at the last minute and dumped into the end-credits as part of the blooper reel.
I'd watch that.
"Strangers On A Thing"
Hitchcock directs a mystery-thriller about two strangers who meet by coincidence and agree to murder each other's enemies: the perfect crime. Nobody knows, not even the audience, that not all of the strangers are human! Which one is which? Criss cross! Criss cross! Get MacReady for a big surprise!
Oh yes, the infamous Thing Baseball Trilogy:
"Eight Things Out" : The 1919 Chicago White Sox are a sure bet to win the Pennant. However, an ill-advised exhibition game in the Antarctic leads to certain of the players returning back to The Windy City as Things! Which ones are human? And which ones are trying to throw the World Series? Do Things even understand baseball? Charlie Sheen is so baked in this movie that he makes the transformation from human to Thing without any makeup or special effects.
"Thing Durham": Susan Sarandon stars as a man-hungry baseball fan who latches on to a hapless minor league team. Pretty much literally.
"Field of Things": The sentimental finale to the Thing Baseball Trilogy. Ray is one of the few remaining humans on Earth. Wistfully, he builds a baseball field on his property as a memorial to our fallen species. All kinds of Things come out of the corn. Does Ray have one final parting shot from humanity for his alien visitors? If you build it, Things will come... to a head!
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