Tuesday, May 24, 2022
Sinister Podium
Monday, May 23, 2022
Letterboxd List Progress May 2022
In my quest to watch every movie ever made, I'm naturally devoting a lot of my time to tracking down the greats. If I don't live long enough to see every film, I'm at least going to try seeing the most acclaimed. Lists aren't infallible or unbiased, and they'll inevitably miss many great works, but they serve as an excellent starting point. Above, you can see where I stood as of last March in terms of completing twelve of the "best-of" lists selected by Letterboxd.
Here's where I stand now. Note that Guillermo del Toro's Film Recommendations has been replaced by Top 250 Horror. For the record, I'm now at 51% of the del Toro list. The Top 100 Documentaries is now the Top 250 Documentaries; amusingly, despite watching a bunch of documentaries since last March, my percentage complete remains exactly the same.
As you can see, I'm tantalizingly close to finishing off the IMDb Top 250--just 15 more movies to go, including big titles such as Wall-E and Requiem for a Dream and lesser-known works such as The Secret in Their Eyes and Jai Bhim.
I'm off to a good start with the Top 250 Horror list, which comes as no surprise since I'm a fan of the genre. I've made quite a bit of progress on the Top 100 Animation List, discovering incredible works like Perfect Blue and Waltz with Bashir alongside the formulaic Disney stuff that gets more and more grating as I grow older and more cynical.
Sunday, May 22, 2022
All Aboard the Coke Train
Saturday, May 21, 2022
Action!
Friday, May 20, 2022
Painted a Mechanoid
Thursday, May 19, 2022
Tinker Tom the Wasteland's Son
Wednesday, May 18, 2022
The Little Drummer Boy
Tuesday, May 17, 2022
They Call Him Mister Tims
Monday, May 16, 2022
Doctor Carrington
Sunday, May 15, 2022
Desdemona
Saturday, May 14, 2022
Gunner Conscript
Friday, May 13, 2022
Another Gunner Private
Thursday, May 12, 2022
Gunner Private
Wednesday, May 11, 2022
Gunner Sergeant
Tuesday, May 10, 2022
Gunner Commander
Monday, May 09, 2022
Grognak's Greatest Foe
Sunday, May 08, 2022
Mother's Day 2022
Saturday, May 07, 2022
The 28mm Thing from Another World
Friday, May 06, 2022
Monitoring Antarctica
Thursday, May 05, 2022
Doctor Frankenstein
Wednesday, May 04, 2022
Pig Platter
Tuesday, May 03, 2022
Sausage Barrel
Monday, May 02, 2022
A Chilly Relationship
Sunday, May 01, 2022
Old West Bank Patron
Saturday, April 30, 2022
The Master Detective
Friday, April 29, 2022
Green McRoth Steamobile
I wasn't quite as successful in applying natural-looking highlights as I had hoped. It's not just about applying the paint, it's about understanding how light works and where highlights would appear.
Even so, I judge this one of my better recent efforts.
Thursday, April 28, 2022
Oregon Trail Mixup
I've posted again
AI artwork that's the same
A post repeat I much regret
Causing me to fume and fret
Thanks be to Jeff
Faithful reader
Who spots it when my effort's meagre
What can I do but
Add a poem
Edit title
Nourishing loam?
Woe is me
A repeat post
Overstaying its welcome
Unfriendly ghost
Wednesday, April 27, 2022
Does This Spacesuit Make Me Look Fat?
Tuesday, April 26, 2022
Monday, April 25, 2022
Oyoubyourys
Sunday, April 24, 2022
Saturday, April 23, 2022
Dragon Attack
Friday, April 22, 2022
Kirk Meets Welles
Thursday, April 21, 2022
Wednesday, April 20, 2022
Another New Dream Job
When awareness comes, I'm sitting in a four-person cubicle, one person intended for each quarter. But there are only two other people here, two young women, one blonde, one brunette; the other quarter of the desk has no chair or equipment; it's given over to storage.
I'm wearing a suit, and I have a typewriter. There's a sheet in it, but it's blank.
I have no idea what I'm supposed to do. The two women pay no attention to me; they're focused entirely on their own work.
Bewildered, I rise. Our cubicle is but one in a sea of them, a sea that covers the expansive floor space entirely save for one walled office in a far corner. I make my way there through the narrow passages between the cubicles, certain that the office must have a supervisor.
The door is open. I rap gently on the doorframe, and a dark-haired woman in her mid-forties turns away from her conversation and looks at me blankly.
"Earl? What's up?"
"When you have a minute, can I talk to you?" I ask.
"Sure," she says, and goes back to her business.
On my way back to my cubicle, I take a closer look at my surroundings. Everyone is working on typewriters and using notepads. There are no computers, no monitors, no smartphones. I spot a Telex machine nestled into the corner opposite the office.
My heart starts to pound. Something's wrong here.
The dark-haired woman comes to collect me before I even reach my cubicle. "Let's go take care of that pitch meeting with the executive producer," she says.
She escorts me to an office I hadn't noticed before and shuts the door behind us. A grey-haired executive is leaning back in an expensive-looking wood and leather chair, feet propped up on an even more expensive-looking desk. The office is crammed full of books and magazines, with old movie posters on the wall.
"Who've you got for me today, Amanda?" the executive asks.
"This is Earl Woods. He has some ideas for the Star Trek movie that's been stalling us for so long."
I do? I think.
"Great, let's hear them. Can't be any worse than some of the other pitches."
It takes me a moment to collect my thoughts. Given the setting, I realize they must be talking about the first Star Trek movie to debut after the original show.
I reply with a bit of a stammer at first, but I find my footing quickly enough. "Let's say it's five years after the Enterprise has returned from its five-year mission. Captain Kirk is an admiral now, and Spock is the captain of the Enterprise. We have a bigger budget for effects than they did in the original show, so we can establish that the Enterprise has been refit - she's completely new, with the same basic shape, but she's sleeker, faster, more powerful."
I feel bad about stealing so much from Star Trek: The Motion Picture, but it's all I can think of at the moment. But maybe I can get creative from this point.
"There's a new first officer, Will Decker - the son of Commodore Decker from 'The Doomsday Machine.' You remember him. Spock is thinking of leaving Starfleet, and he intends to recommend Decker to command the Enterprise when the time comes.
"But there's a signal from a deep-space communications station. Their extreme-range scans have picked up evidence of a megastructure long imagined but never seen: a ringworld, a vast living space built in the habitable zone of a star, with a total surface area of millions of Class M planets. It's an incredible scientific discovery, and only the refit Enterprise has the advanced labs and sensors to do justice to an exploration mission.
"The Federation wants diplomatic and high-ranking Starfleet representation on this mission in case the ringworld is inhabited. Admiral Kirk ensures he's the Starfleet officer that gets to go, and as ambassador the Federation sends Ilia, an empathic Deltan gifted in the diplomatic arts.
"The journey to the ringworld will take months, even at warp speed, but we'll just cover the most important events: building our new characters, reintroducing our original characters, and showing the Enterprise crew preparing for the scientific and diplomatic aspects of the mission.
"When the Enterprise finally reaches the ringworld, it's important that we show the mind-boggling scale of the construct. The Enterprise is but a gnat compared to the ringworld; close up, it will look like a vast, flat wall in space. The ring's curvature can only be perceived with enough distance.
"The science teams perform sensor scans as the Enterprise approaches this strange new world. But not long after the crew catches their first glimpse of the star-facing side of the ring--revealing vast seas, forests, cities, farmlands, mountain ranges, jungles--world after world after world, laid out flat on a giant ring--it happens.
"While Admiral Kirk, Ambassador Ilia, and the senior staff are discussing first contact protocols, Mr. Spock, Lieutenant Commander Uhura, Lieutenant Chekov, and Commander Scott vanish from existence.
"Admiral Kirk immediately takes command of the ship, much to the consternation of Commander Decker, who really should be next in line. Kirk says his experience on the five-year mission trumps Decker's greater familiarity with the Enterprise refit.
"Admiral Kirk hails the ringworld, but no one answers. Kirk orders all shuttles launched to perform sensor scans of different sections of the ringworld, but with such a massive amount of territory to cover, the effort could take years without the wildest stroke of luck.
"But on the ringworld, we, the audience, learn that Spock Uhura, Chekov, and Scott find themselves in the arid foothills of a desert mountain range...with no equipment. Atop one mountain is a spire that reaches toward the stars until it disappears, extending out of the atmosphere and into the darkness. With no other obvious clue to what they should do, they set out for the spire on foot..."
"I like it so far," the executive says. "Spend the weekend with it, finish it up. I have a golf game coming up."
I'm relieved, because I had no concept of an ending. But I do have more immediate concerns.
When we leave the executive's office, I ask Amanda to sit down with me in a little lounge area.
"Have you heard of DVDs or Blu-Rays?" I ask.
"No," she says.
"Smart phones?"
"What's that?"
"Nine eleven?"
She shrugs.
I tell her that I have no memory of being hired, or what my job is. She looks concerned, and said I should get checked out for a concussion or amnesia.
"It's worse than that," I tell her, almost crying. "This is the part that's going to make me sound crazy. What year is this?"
"What year? It's 1976," she answers.
"Oh, god," I groan. "I'm from 2022. I'm not supposed to be here. Oh god, what's happening?"
Thankfully, I transition back to the other world, the one with Sylvia and COVID-19.
Tuesday, April 19, 2022
Earl's Pizza Commandments
Just minutes ago I was involved in a group text discussion with Sean, Jeff, and Stephen, and there was some disagreement on acceptable pizza toppings. For the record, here's my comprehensive list of toppings I would and would not eat willingly:
My Favourite Toppings
Cheese (mozzarella, cheddar, feta)
Tomato sauce
Bolognese sauce
Pepperoni
Ham (including prosciutto)
Salami
Ground beef
Red pepper
Green pepper
Yellow pepper
Onion
Green onion
Shrimp
Pineapple
Fresh tomato
Bacon
Jalapenos
Various savory herbs and spices
Toppings Good in Certain Combinations
Potato slices
Sour cream
Marinara sauce
Chili peppers
Sundried tomatoes
Spinach
Taco shells
Toppings I'll Choke Down to Be Polite or if I'm Really Starving
Mushrooms (though I will pick them out on the sly if I can do so unseen)
Chicken
Sausage
Donair meat
Steak (too chewy, plus risk of fat and gristle, eewwww)
Carrot slices (raw only)
Uncivilized Toppings Fit Only for the Demented
Beets
Yams
Sweet potatoes
Liver
Fish
Black olives
Pickles
Ketchup
Mayo
Relish
Kale
Kimchi
Turnip
Cauliflower
Broccoli
Brussels sprouts
Green olives
These choices seem reasonable to me, but when it comes to the human palate, tastes may, of course, vary.
Monday, April 18, 2022
A Pair of Rangers
Sunday, April 17, 2022
Meet the Hammersmashes
Saturday, April 16, 2022
Nash Layfayettes
I painted the individual model parts before gluing them together, which really helped me keep the colours where they should go.