United Conservative Time Minus Six

Remember, remember, this first of November
Clocks frozen in place by Danielle's distemper
Albertans said no to year-round daylight time
Of course she ignored us, her most common crime

If you're late tomorrow
As thousands will be
Remember with sorrow
The damned UCP

Bees Wax Eloquent

Bees
Buzz
Bee suit
Be gentle
Eight bees hovering
Queen rests on a throne of honey
Honeycomb patterns
Amaze eyes
Sun sets
Night
Falls

 

Behold my brother Sean
Standing in a tree
Apple blossoms of the crab
In the year 80
Red canoe observes
Canoehead underneath?
Soon the season will bequeath
Crab apples for the Woods fam-lee


 

One Possibility

Singularity
Electric screams, trembling leaves
The silence of ice

Trap Door to the Backrooms

Fall up the trap door
Into blackest space descend
Never to return

 

Pit Stop Pothole Wit Slop Hobo

A stick in the abyss
In the middle of our street
A pit within our midst
The riddle we must meet

Gaping like a wound
Festering and dark
A hazard to our safety and
One less place to park

Some say it is a pot hole
And easy to repair
But what if it's a knothole
A pit of pure despair?

Some say it is a gateway
A tunnel straight to hell
Some argue for its innocence
And sincerely wish it well

As for me, I do abstain
From judging empty space
I'll hold my tongue and keep the peace
And try to show some grace
 

Gemini Interprets "My Eyes Bleed Coke"

Many years ago, I wrote the following bad poem: 

My Eyes Bleed Coke

My eyes bleed Coke
My bread doth me choke
My gums fairly smoke
I’m about to croak
Ye are ye who be
Ye who see who ye be
Be ye he who sees the sea
She be the she who kisseth me
Me I am what I wish to be
Until a bottle striketh me
Never a borrower nor lender be
But give a dram of ink to Lee
Lee, he be the Count, you see
He who bites the necks of shes
And makes us think of honeybees
Who swarm and have us on our knees
Sticky ichor down me cheeks
The stale, flat Coke, she surely reeks
Me eyes bled it for many weeks
Accompanied by untold shrieks
Sugar in me humour hurts
Cries of pain my larynx blurts
But still the blood she spurts ‘n spurts
One of Satan’s crueler works
My eyes bleed Coke

I fed it into Gemini's image generator a few weeks ago; you see the result above. 

Richard XXX

Now is the summer of our discontent
Made inglorious winter by this climate change
And all the clouds that poured upon our houses
Endless rain and thunder's wrath. 
 

Saskatchewan, Naturally

Where do you go
To see the grain grow
Saskatchewan, naturally
For the birth of Medicare
I need to go where?
Saskatchewan, naturally
For dark sky views
Where should you choose?
Saskatchewan, naturally
To join the RCMP,
Where should you be?
Saskatchewan, naturally
I need potash galore, 
Where can I find more?
Saskatchewan, naturally
If you only relate
To borders that are straight
Saskatchewan, naturally
When you like to wine and dine
In many hours of sunshine
Saskatchewan, naturally

Yes Saskatchewan has all these things
And many other joys it brings
You might think it's kind of scary 
Because it's flat and endless prairie
But that's Sasatchewan--naturally. 
 

Hulking Mad Barbarian

I am the very model of a hulking mad barbarian
When I don't see pillaging I really get contrarian
When I come for you I wield
A bloody axe and iron shield
Good thing this image isn't real
'Cause I have no desire to steal
 

Pitchers in the Clover

Three wee tykes
In fields at play
They made their pitch for lives ahead
Dreams in clover, dare to tread
Where are they now?
No one can say
Perhaps to dust they have returned
A final rest, well-loved, well-earned
The marks they made in history burned

 

Fanfare for the Unknown Couple

Ba, ba--bum ba ba
Pum pum ba ba bum ba ba
Lum de dum ba pum pum pum
ba, ba--bum ba ba
 

Natufian Rhapsody

15,000 years ago
Hungry Natufians
Mashed grain and water to make dough
For family and friends
Set fire to stone and made it glow
Cooked that dough until those stones
Turned red
Served it up sans cutlery
And called the meal flatbread

Man and Horse

Man and horse
A symbiosis 
Animal husbandry's
Ultimate gnosis
Strong back, fleet hooves
Domestication
Foundations of the horse-drawn nations
Bit and bridle, tack and saddle
A riding crop to act as paddle
An equal partnership, we say
But what of horse?
"I say thee neigh!" 


 

Paper Birch

When for beauty do thee search
Look no further than the birch;
Gaze upon it and you'll see
A thin-leaved, deciduous hardwood tree
Sure to soothe the nerves of primates
Seeking shelter in boreal climates
And should you need to recollect 
An extraordinary caper
Take a moment to reflect
Then use birch bark for paper

Sudden Insight

We clap and sing
Happy Birthday
And implore the birthday love
To blow out candles on a cake
They do
Snuffing out the dancing flames with wind and spittle
And the host serves the cake
And we eat
We eat cake, icing
And the birthday sneeze
Surely this practice can't be sanitary

Arnold's Path

A giant straddles the Terminator between light and shadow
Like Atlas, but actually Hercules
A Dutch treat from Austria, caught in a Matrix of illusion
A Julius Caesar, torn between worlds to rule
A Quaid/Hauser, lost in conflicting roles
A Kaminski/Brenner on both sides of the coldest war
A Danko, a Richards, a Slater, a Kimble, a Langston
A Trench-ant master, caught in a Fries frame
Doctor, President, Patron, Hood, and yet always a Self
The once and future King Conan Kalidor
Ahhhhnold, the T-800

Starter Words for the End of the World

XYLEM
GLYPH
MAMMA
IGLOO
OKAPI
FUZZY

My starter words
Betray me in the same way as
Our dreams for tomorrow
The fallen scoop of strawberry ice cream
Melting on the sidewalk at the fair
Sighs in resignation
While the child's tears
Evaporate on her sun-roasted cheeks

(Bad poem by me, bad "art" by Gemini.) 

Gathering Dust

They slept unmoving for months and years
Paper and chemical memories
Slowly and silently buried
Under the grey shedding skin
Of neglectful caretakers
Forgotten until irrelevant
And discarded thereafter
Without ceremony

Bouchers Three

They're Bouchers Three
Oh me oh my
Two of them just swung right by
They came to say hello
We were sorry to see them go
And the strange thing is
It was Sean Woods' birthday
 
(sung to the tune of The Wizard of Oz cartoon opening theme)