The Monsters Are Due on Mini Street

If I Had a Billion Dollars

If I had a billion dollars (if I had a billion dollars)
Well I'd buy a black house (I'd buy a black house)
And if I had a billion dollars (If I had a billion dollars)
I'd buy mannequin limbs for my house (a collection of arms and legs and heads for sure)
And if I had a billion dollars
I'd buy a Batmobile (a rather showy automobile)

And if I had a billion dollars I'd buy your patience
If I had a billion dollars I'd hire actors for our estate
They'd play roles from central casting and never be late
If I had a billion dollars maybe we could build a bridge simulator in there somewhere
(You know we could just go down and play Star Trek)
(Like shoot Klingons or watch movies on the bridge with popcorn and soda for us)
(With surround sound and exploding consoles, hmmm)
(Exploding consoles and gimbals in the floor)
(Do you really think that's safe? Well yeah!)

If I had a billion dollars (if I had a billion dollars)
I'd buy you your own house
(Because living in my madhouse would be cruel)
If I had a billion dollars (If I had a billion dollars)
I'd build a tunnel to your house (so we could hang out all the time)
And if I had a billion dollars (if I had a billion dollars)
Well I'd buy you Louis Vitton (so he could make you your own handbags)

And if I had a billion dollars I'd buy your patience
If I had a billion dollars we wouldn't have to cook and clean anymore
And if I had a billion dollars we'd hire chefs and butlers 'cause they all cost more
If I had a billion dollars we wouldn't have to eat taco kits
(But we would eat taco kits)
(Of course we would, we'd just eat more)
(And buy really expensive seasonings with it)
That's right, all the expensive Dijon taco seasoning, mmmm)

If I had a billion dollars (if I had a billion dollars)
Well I'd buy you a "Don't" shirt (and yes a real "Don't" shirt, that's cool)
And if I had a billion dollars (if I had a billion dollars)
Well I'd buy us some art (a Vallejo or a Wayne Boring)
If I had a billion dollars (if I had a billion dollars)
Well I'd call you my monkey (but don't I already call you my monkey?)

If I had a billion dollars I'd buy your patience
If I had a billion dollars
If I had a billion dollars
If I had a billion dollars
I'd be silly

Squiggle Me This

A long exposure experiment failure shot ineptly on Mom and Dad's Canon T70. 

The Diner Before Callahan's

It's now a dental office, but once upon a time this building just north of the High Level Bridge housed a restaurant I used to frequent with my friends in the University of Alberta Star Trek Club. No, the restaurant wasn't Callahan's - at least not at first - but the one that preceded it. (I shot this photo sometime after leaving university, I'm sure.) Despite all my fond memories of the restaurant that was here before Callahan's, I can't remember its name. Can anyone help me out? 

Genres by the Numbers

According to Letterboxd, the 6,808 films I've seen in my lifetime thus far fall into the following genres, in descending order:

Drama: 1,832
Comedy: 1,814
Action: 1,230
Science fiction: 1,045
Thriller: 989
Animation: 859
Adventure: 850
Documentary: 640
Crime: 636
Horror: 633
Romance: 603
Fantasy: 543
Family: 492
Mystery: 356
Western: 354
Musical: 262
War: 231
History: 199
TV movie: 158

These numbers add up to higher than 6,808, but that's because many films fall into multiple genres. 

Mom and the Forge

One of the hardest things about COVID-19 is the cold reality of social distancing. I talked to Mom on Sunday about the pandemic and how our family is managing it, and while I recognize how lucky we are - both my brother and I are working from home, Sylvia is also safe at home, and Mom is retired - it's still tough to know that it's not safe to see Mom in person, because she's over 65 and thus at high risk of getting very sick if she gets infected with the coronavirus.

Mom is very tough, which I think I attribute to her childhood as a farm girl, and then years as a teacher and mother in Canada's north. But I still worry, and chatting with her on the phone on Sunday really brought home that it won't be safe to visit in person for weeks, or maybe months. On the flip side, that will make our next in-person visit that much more special.

Love you, Mom. 

It's All Been Forgotten Before

A few days ago, my friend Bruce shared this video of Surrender's "It's All Been Done Before." I'd forgotten that this song had ever existed, which is surprising given how much I enjoy it. Thanks, Bruce!

Two Must-Read Stories on COVID-19

Here are two well-researched articles about COVID-19, the threat it poses, and why we must all, collectively, around the world, take action now to prevent a serious health catastrophe. The first article is the one that convinced me to stay at home. The second shows what we may be in for, depending on the actions that we take or do not take.

Coronavirus: Why You Must Act Now

Coronavirus: The Hammer and the Dance

Quick Takes: Cool World

Cool World (Ralph Bakshi, 1992) Meandering, unfunny, mean-spirited, nonsensical, full of unnecessary plot points (Why did it matter Gabriel Byrne's character murdered his wife? Why did it matter Brad Pitt's character lost his mother in a motorcycle accident?)...this is just a mess. The trailer is far more stylish and interesting; at least you get to hear The Art of Noise doing Peter Gunn.

Trekspertise on Terrorism in Star Trek

One of my favourite YouTube channels, Trekspertise, has released another well-produced, thought-provoking video essay. 

Marbula One

Jelle's marble runs never fail to entertain, but he's really started to up the production values of his videos. And he did it without losing the fun and whimsy that make these videos special. 

Barrels and Crates