Golden Age Friend Group

Today I installed a whimsical hanging shelf in my office crafted to represent a fire escape. Then I placed some action figures on it. These guys are members and friends of the Justice Society of America, the first super-hero team, its creation dating back to 1940. 
 

Batman's Most Riveting Adventure

 

Ace Chemicals

I have added to my collection of 28mm-scale barrels. Ace Chemicals is best known as the company that stored their goods in giant open vats, thereby sharing responsibility, along with Batman, for creating The Joker when Batman knocked small-time criminal the Red Hood into one of said vats. The chemicals dyed the Red Hood's hair green, skin white, and lips "ruby red," driving him insane and turning him into the Clown Prince of Crime--the Joker. 

Fortunately, these miniature barrels contain no liquid chemicals. 
 

Bruce Wayne Mourns in the Night

 

Alfred Pennyworth

I've been fiddling with this 28mm scale miniature of Alfred Pennyworth a few minutes at a time over the course of several weeks. The perfect being the enemy of the good, I'm stopping here. Although perhaps well short of "good." 

Alfred Pennyworth, is, of course, Batman's butler. 

Justice Reimagined

To my utter surprise - and maybe it's because my expectations were so low - I did not hate Zack Snyder's Justice League (2021). In fact, I can honestly say that I even enjoyed it, with reservations. This version of the film has more natural humour (though only in sparse doses), Cyborg and Flash are far better developed Batman gets a little more dignity, the action sequences are more effective overall, and the final battle in particular offers genuine jeopardy and suspense--it feels like there are real stakes. The plot actually makes sense now, for the most part. Even Steppenwolf's story is fleshed out, enough to make him an actual villain instead of just CG animation. And we get to see more of Jeremy Irons' Alfred and J.K. Simmons' Commissioner Gordon; both are treats. Amy Adams' Lois Lane doesn't fare quite as well, but she's still more important to the film than she was in the original theatrical release. 

On the downside, the score is terrible except when it includes snippets of Zimmer's themes from past movies. There are still moments that feel out of character for our heroes. There's way too much slow motion. The big new character cameo is welcome to fans, but still feels tacked on. Some sequences could be cut without hurting the film at all. Some of the humanizing moments from the theatrical cut are gone and I miss them, but on the other hand, those cuts make this version more tonally coherent - even if I'm not a fan of Snyder's portentous, somber take on the genre.

As a bonus, comparing this version of Justice League to the theatrical release is a great way to discover the importance of editing.

Semisequential Earl

 

Golden Age Lego Batman

Chekov's Swinging 60s Themed Birthday

Crisis on Infinite Budgets

YouTube creator UltraSargent has assembled a really fine-looking trailer that asks the question "What might result if someone adapted Crisis on Infinite Earths with an unlimited budget?" Lots of fun easter eggs for DC fans. 

Batmobile in Miniature

Should I be lucky to live long enough to enjoy a post-scarcity society, I'll definitely replicate a 1960s Batmobile to tool around in. Sylvia says she would refuse to ride with me, though. 

Lightning in a Beer Bottle: Shazam!

The real Captain Marvel makes his debut in Shazam! (David F. Sandberg, 2019). Inspired by the whimsical adventures of Captain Marvel and the Marvel Family from way back in the 1940s, Shazam! tells the story of orphan Billy Batson, an orphan boy who can transform into the World's Mightiest Mortal, Captain Marvel, by yelling "SHAZAM!"

SHAZAM, of course, is one of the most famous acronyms in comics, and it describes the powers bestowed on Billy:

S - Solomon's wisdom
H - Hercules' strength
A - Atlas' stamina
Z - Zeus' power
A - Achilles' courage
M - Mercury's speed

It's just a shame that DC surrendered use of the "Captain Marvel" name to Marvel Studios when the character and his family have so much history behind them. Kudos to the filmmakers, though, for avoiding what I feared most: calling Captain Marvel "Shazam." Sure, it leaves the hero without a proper sobriquet, but the search for a superhero name for Billy Batson's adult form becomes a fun little comedic thread woven through the film.

Minutiae aside, is this a good movie? Well, it's funny and family-friendly (in the sense that it honours the best family values, like caring, understanding, respect, and tenderness). It's well-acted across the board, and while the screenplay isn't brilliant, it does the job - though I found the pacing a bit rushed. It would have been nice to dedicate a little more time to Billy's arc. It works, but it would have been more plausible had the creators spent more time on character development and shortened the initial fight a bit. The creators also take some liberties with Sivana, turning him into a kind of low-rent Black Adam instead of the mad scientist he's supposed to be, but I can see why they made the choice for the sake of story economy.

That being said, these are minor complaints. As with Aquaman, I'm grateful that DC's characters are being treated with a little more playfulness and less grand import. Save the dark stuff for the Batman family (but maybe lighten them up just a little too, huh, Warner Brothers? Just don't go camp. No one will ever do a better camp Batman than the 60s TV series, so don't go there.)

Kudos, too, to the filmmakers for adding at least three references to Big, two obvious and hilarious, one a little more subtle but appreciated. 

Inappropriate Absurd Selfie

Sometime in 2016...

"Look, Sylvia, I'm in the Batcan."
"Why are you taking a picture of yourself in Steve's bathroom?"
"Bat-room, actually."
"...Never mind, I'm sorry I asked. As usual." 

DC Editor for a Day

Let's say, for some insane reason, DC Comics decided to give me editorial control over their line of comic book titles, but only to the extent that I could create a slate of comics based strictly on existing characters.  

Well, I'd create the line that I would want to read, without regard for sales viability. Here's what it would look like, imagining that each title has an incredible creative team: 

 

Superman Books

Action Comics (anthology led by Superman, just the way it started back in 1938)

DC Comics Presents (Superman team-up stories)

Lana Lang (Lana Lang, on-again off-again girlfriend of Clark Kent, goes on archeological adventures from Qurac to Skartaris to Atlantis) 

Lex Luthor (diabolical tales of Lex Luthor's infamies great and small) 

Lois Lane: Woman of Steel (Lois Lane's adventures as a brave, bold reporter) 

Man of Tomorrow (Superman's adventures with the adult Legion of Super-Heroes)

Man of Steel (Superman's adventures as a radical 

The Private Life of Clark Kent (Clark Kent's day-to-day adventures in journalism, dating, grocery shopping, etc.) 

Supergirl (stories of Kara Zor-El, Superman's cousin) 

Superman (Superman's main title, with his biggest adventures)

Young Clark Kent (Clark Kent's life in Smallville, as his powers were developing; frequently crosses over with Legion of Super-Heroes, below)

Batman Books

Batgirl (the adventures of congresswoman Barbara Gordon, AKA Batgirl, in Washington, DC)

Batman (Batman's main title, two-fisted street crime adventures) 

The Brave and the Bold (Batman team-up stories) 

Legends of the Dark Knight (Batman stories told from the perspective of his villains) 

Detective Comics (anthology led by Batman, just the way it started; detective stories) 

Team Books

Birds of Prey (Batgirl, Black Canary, Huntress, and Hawk and Dove fight street-level crime) 

Blackhawks! (a squad of pilots from around the world fly into danger wherever they can find it!) 

Doom Patrol (DP members from all incarnations of the team gather to fight the weirdest threats ever) 

Freedom Fighters (the heroes of Earth X have freed their world from tyranny, only to be stranded in ours!) 

Gorilla Soldiers (Congorilla, Detective Chimp, Beppo the Super Monkey, Angel and the Ape, and xx versus their arch-rivals the Ultra-Humanite, Gorilla Grodd, Titano the Super-Ape, and Monsieur Mallah and the Brain.)  

The Haunted Tank (ghostly adventures in World War II) 

Justice League of America (DC's greatest heroes team up to face the biggest threats) 

Justice Society of America (the greatest heroes of the 1930s and 40s fight the Nazis and other fascists and mad scientists) 

Legion of Substitute Heroes (good-hearted Legion rejects try to do the right thing despite their shortcomings) 

Legion of Super-Heroes (dozens of super-powered teenagers of the 31st century explore the galaxy and combat interstellar evil)

Secret Society of Super-Villains (super-villains work in secret, hatching sinister conspiracies to rule the world--but can they avoid killing each other?) 

Suicide Squad (super-villains and anti-heroes reluctantly work together under threat of government sanction, performing secret missions so dangerous that not everyone comes back alive)

Suicide Squad Secret Missions (Suicide Squad anthology)  

Tales of the Green Lantern Corps (anthology series about the non-Terran Green Lanterns) 

Titans (generations of sidekicks work together to prove themselves) 

The Other Heroes

Animal Man

Aquaman

The Atoms (scientists Ray Palmer and Ryan Choi explore the microverse) 

Black Canary

Black Lightning

Blue Beetle

Captain Atom

Elongated Man (back to the original concept, the Nick and Nora Charles of the superhero world; lighthearted mysteries of the jet set) 

Fury of Firestorm (Ron Raymond and Martin Stein take back the Firestorm matrix - but they're not happy about it!) 

Flash Legacy (anthology of stories of the fastest men and women alive, from World War II to the far future) 

Green Arrow

Green Lantern

Hawks (the adventures of Katar and Shayera Hol, police officers of Thanagar) 

Hellblazer

Red Tornado

Shazam! and the Marvel Family

Swamp Thing
Vixen and Bronze Tiger (solo adventures of the Suicide Squad team-mates) 

Wonder Woman

Zatanna

A pretty solid selection of titles--at least from my selfish perspective. 

The Plastic Batmen

Under the Glass V

Batman in Peril

On the Batwalk

Bat-Can

The Batcave vs. The Fortress of Solitude: Which is the Better Target for Robbers?

While discussing some of the finer points of this post with my friend Jeff, our dialogue turned, naturally, to Superman's Fortress of Solitude, and whether or not there's anything in it worth stealing. Jeff initially asserted that the giant key and door that guard the Fortress are somewhat unnecessary, arguing that Superman's home doesn't have any loot a sane criminal would bother with. I argued the opposite, and during our conversation another topic sprang to mind: if a criminal had the choice of robbing the Fortress of Solitude or Batman's Batcave, which should he choose?

Making the choice requires a cost-benefit analysis. You have to first decide on the return you're likely to get on a successful robbery versus the likely consequences of success and/or being caught, either before or after the fact.

Target: The Batcave

Loot

• One giant animatronic dinosaur, value undetermined, possibly worth something on the collector's market, but difficult to transport
• One giant penny, value undetermined, possibly worth something on the collector's market, but difficult to transport
• One giant playing card (a Joker), value undetermined, possibly worth something on the collector's market, but difficult to transport
• Bat-computer with all of Batman's files, a priceless resource for criminals and probably worth tens if not hundreds of thousands of dollars; also large and difficult to transport, though the data would be easier to move given sufficient hacking skills
• The latest models of the Batmobile, Batplane, Batboat, Batcycle, Whirly-Bat, Batcopter, plus older models presumably in storage; easy to transport if your criminal gang includes members with the necessary skills to hotwire and drive/fly the vehicles
• Assorted Batman and Robin costumes with their respective utility belts and weapons
• Raw materials for Batman's crime lab

Bonuses

• Conveniently located just a few miles from a major metropolis, accessible by road and underwater channel
• Lies beneath Wayne Manor, which contains many art treasures, jewels, fine furniture and other more conventional loot than available in the Batcave below

Obstacles

• Possible presence of one or more of the following: Robin(s), Alfred Pennyworth, Ace the Bat-Hound, Nightwing, Batgirl(s), Batwoman or Batman himself (worst case scenario)
• Sophisticated security systems

Consequences

• Likely extreme, painful, crippling (though not lethal) punishment by Batman, followed by incarceration
• Nightmares
• Long-term disability

Target: The Fortress of Solitude

Loot

• One giant animatronic dinosaur, value undetermined, possibly worth something on the collector's market, but difficult to transport
• One damaged cruise ship, presumably worth millions in salvage, but likely a huge liability if the robbers decided to repair it
• One space ark capable of ferrying several hundred humans to another star system in the event of the end of the world
• Several alien animals kept in Superman's zoo, which he uses to save endangered alien species
• Super-computer with far more computing power than any other on Earth, presumably worth millions
• Giant statues of Jor-El and Lara holding up the planet Krypton, presumably worth millions as an object d'art
• The Phantom Zone projector and its associated viewer for monitoring the Zone
• A collection of Superman's Super-Robots, each with the powers of Superman, though at a lower level
• The bottle city of Kandor, full of a shrunken Kryptonian city and its millions of Kryptonian survivors, of priceless value as hostages
• Statues of Superman's friends, potentially valuable as objects d'art
• A giant girder twisted out of shape by Superman, potentially valuable as an object d'art
• Very powerful weapons confiscated by Superman from super-villains and aliens, stored in the Fortress' armory
• Samples of all varieties of Kryptonite, priceless
• Disintegration pit--impossible to steal, but good for disposing of evidence and bodies of murder victims
• Superman's super-diary; impractical to steal due to its size and weight
• Supermobile, presumably worth millions, and very useful for criminal activities
• Superman's original escape rocket from Krypton, priceless as a historical artifact, could possibly be reverse-engineered

Obstacles

• Remote location in the high arctic, expensive and dangerous to access
• Giant door with a key that's so heavy it can only be lifted by Superman, Supergirl, and others with their level of super-strength
• Possible presence of one or more of the following: Beppo the Super-Monkey, Krypto the Superdog, Supergirl, operational Super-Robot(s), Superman himself
• Second and third floors accessible only by beings who can fly; no stairs or elevators

Consequences

• Stern talking-to from Superman likely to make the perpetrator feel deep shame
• Incarceration

Should a robber overcome the obstacles involved in getting to and entering the Fortress of Solitude, he or she would end up with a treasure trove of advanced alien technology, weapons, and collectibles, not to mention millions of hostages should they carry off Kandor. And even if caught, they can expect humane treatment--perhaps even complete forgiveness--from Superman and/or his pals. Krypto might be a little rough with them, but he knows not to maim or kill anyone.

The successful Batcave robber can expect to make off with a haul of expensive and powerful Bat-vehicles and fence-able treasures from Wayne Manor. However, if captured, the robbers can expect an extremely painful comeuppance/punishment from Batman, along with prison time.

All things considered, it seems the Fortress is the more desirable target. A successful heist is unlikely, but richly rewarding, and failure comes with relatively minimal consequences. Time to upgrade the security system, Superman!