7TV Reporter

Reporting live from the set of some 7TV production or other is . . . "Reporter." That's what the 7TV rules call him, but I think I'll call him Anvil Stillbulb or Shank McCarthy, something that sounds like it came from the 1970s, like his outfit. 

As for the paint job, I'm glad that I managed to paint in his moustache and eyebrows, and the hair looks all right. Skin still challenges me, though the hands look better than the face. I'm still applying the paint too thickly sometimes when I get frustrated or impatient, but as I've often written before, these close-up photos reveal every flaw; Reporter looks decent when viewed from a normal game-playing distance. 
 

The Long-Suffering Editor

I was the editor of our newspaper in high school, and I even had a cool newspaper-themed shirt to go with the job, which I'm wearing here, at the gathering that marked the end of our time in the Newspaper Club (and, incidentally, high school). I'm not sure why I'm covering my face, except perhaps to mourn the years I spent on the job, now forever left behind.

I wish I still had that shirt (and could still fit into it). 

Ant-Man Post Credit Sequence

Now that Sony and Marvel Studios have made a deal to bring Spider-Man into the Marvel Cinematic Universe, there's an obvious way to tease fans - by making Spider-Man the centrepiece of Ant-Man's post-credits sequence. Rather than feature Spider-Man himself, though, I think there's a way to build anticipation while also introducing a surprise...

AFTER THE CREDITS...

INT. THE DAILY BUGLE.

City editor ROBBIE ROBERTSON enters an office, holding up the galleys of the morning edition of the DAILY BUGLE newspaper. "ANT-MAN SAVES CITY" screams the headline.

We see the back of a familiar head with a flattop haircut.

"Ant-Man? That's what we're calling him? Ant-Man?"

ROBBIE shrugs. Camera angle shifts to reveal JK Simmons as J. JONAH JAMESON.

"As if SPIDER-MAN weren't bad enough! Where are those photos of him fleeing the disaster like the coward he is? PARKER! PARRRRKERRRRRRRRRRRRRR!"


From offscreen, a WEB-LINE zips into frame and seals JAMESON'S mouth shut with webbing. CUT TO a rear view of Spider-Man swinging away from the DAILY BUGLE building.

The surprise, of course, would be casting Simmons in the Jameson role again. It might not be likely, but I'd sure love it. 

Dispatches from a Parallel Universe: Pennies from Hell

August 14, 1900

 

Private "Penny Dreadful" Detective Stops Nickel-and-Dime Crook

Special to the Regina Crier by Nancy Fitzgerald

 

Broadview, Assiniboia - Joe Jones, the Welsh-Canadian writer who has thrilled a Generation of mystery lovers with his thrilling Detective stories of Dash Eagle, Private Detective, became embroiled in a real-life Drama yesterday afternoon when he stepped into Broadview Sweets for a stick of candy and instead found himself in the midst of a Villainous Robbery. 

 

Jones witnessed a swarthy, dull-eyed assailant threaten the candy store's aged proprietor, one Nick Applodious, with a heavy cudgel.Thinking quickly, Jones seized a jar of pennies from the counter - presumably placed there for the day's accounting - and hurled the heavy missile like a Champion Rounder.

 

"I yelled 'I'll knock some cents into you' and threw the jar," Jones recounts. "I was probably more surprised than the Burglar when the Pennies hit him square in the forehead, knocking him out cold. Rather than call the cops, this situation called for some Copper!"

 

The Miscreant, identified by Broadview constable Henry McTavish as one Earl J. Woods of no fixed address, was laid low by the blow. Applodious informed the RCMP that even had the robber successfully carried his plot to conclusion, it would have Profited him little. 

"On a slow day like today I've naught but Nickels and Dimes in the register," Applodious confesses. "Had he stolen every coin, every gumdrop, every lolly and all the soda in the store he may have escaped with ten or fifteen Dollars' worth of goods - hardly worth it with today's hyperinflation." 

Woods will be transported from Broadview to Regina for trial this week.

 

Indefensible

Yesterday, Albertans learned that Dunvegan-Central Peace MLA and former cabinet minister Hector Goudreau wrote a threatening letter to Betty Turpin, superintendent of the Holy Family Catholic Regional School Division. Folks who watch the news might remember that school division was advocating pretty hard for a new school in Grimshaw, since their current school is pretty much falling apart. They weren't getting any traction from government, so they shot a video showing the poor condition of the school and sent it to the media, which annoyed the government.

Goudreau (who as an MLA should be sticking up for his constituents, including Turpin and the students she serves) reacted incredibly poorly, writing "In order for your community to have the opportunity to receive a new school, you and your school board will have to be very diplomatic from here on out." He also writes "I advise you to be cautious as to how you approach future communications as your comments could be upsetting to some individuals. This could delay the decision on a new school."

Since starting work for the Official Opposition a little over six years ago, Alberta Liberal MLAs have told me many stories about the level of fear felt by school trustees, municipal elected officials and other public servants. People don't want to speak out against the PC government because doing so puts their jobs, and their funding for community projects, at risk.

While I believed what my bosses were telling me, I don't think it ever felt truly real until I saw Goudreau's letter, in stark black and white. This attitude of entitlement is absolutely unacceptable, and I am deeply offended that any government member would so blatantly threaten a citizen. Even if I were a Progressive Conservative partisan, this would deeply embarrass me - not because a PC MLA was caught doing something bad, but because my government had grown so entitled and sure of itself that its representatives see no problem with bullying citizens.

In today's Edmonton Journal and Calgary Herald, Graham Thomson and Don Braid capture the importance of the story better than I ever could. I hope you read both columns and keep them in mind when you cast your vote later this spring.

The Lesson

Earl J. Woods, Jeff Crozier and Jonathan Wright sell school newspapers in 1987.

Before blogs, before even BBSes (barely), there were the high school newspapers. From 1985 to 1987, I contributed to The Forum, the newspaper of Leduc Composite High School; I served as the paper's editor during grades eleven and twelve. As noted in one of the yearbook write-ups below, the 80s were a time of rapid transition in publishing, though nowadays even that rapid change seems glacial in comparison to today's evolving industry.

In 1985, Leduc Senior High School was undergoing a significant renovation on its way to becoming Leduc Composite High School. Because our gymnasium wasn't finished, we held our Valentine's Day dance at the nearby junior high. The dance got a little out of control, with copious alcohol consumption and a couple of fights; the evening came to a close when someone lit a set of curtains on fire, which one intrepid student put out by pouring soda over the flames.

In response, I wrote a self-righteous editorial for the paper's next issue, calling the perpetrators punks, hooligans, etc. I was in high dudgeon, and I painted my fellow classmates with a very, very broad brush. A couple of my fellow students said "You can't write this!" but our supervisor, nodding sagely, said that we should go ahead and print it. At first I thought she agreed with my moralistic position, but as soon as the issue was printed posters and effigies flew up on the school walls, replete with pithy slogans such as "Earl Woods Sucks." I was stunned as only a self-righteous crusader could be. Kirby Fox, one of the school's biggest students, grabbed me by the lapels, lifted me over his head and slammed me into the lockers - not hard enough to hurt me, but hard enough to make his point: he wasn't happy. A few students and teachers supported my editorial, but most of my classmates were pretty annoyed with me.

And they were right. In the days that followed, I got to know a whole bunch of other kids much better, as they took pains to explain why my article was so off-base and, frankly, prejudiced. I felt shame, and I realized why our supervisor had allowed the editorial to go ahead: not to teach other students a lesson, but to teach me the value of prudence, fairness and journalistic integrity. After that incident, I learned to look at all sides of the issues.

Here are the yearbook write-ups I provided in 1986 and 1987. Click to embiggen!

The Globe and Fail

Here's an interesting question from yesterday's Globe and Mail: where should Canada's foreign aid efforts be focused? Hmmm, let's see...the Americas...well, I don't know, does North America really need foreign aid? Maybe they mean Haiti.

South Asia...developing economies, sure, Bangladesh is in rough shape...

The Middle East...aren't they rolling in oil cash and military aid already?

Eastern Europe? I suppose they're poor compared to Western Europe...seems like there might be poorer countries somewhere on the planet, though...

Hey wait a minute...there's something missing from this list, I just can't put my finger on it.

Oh wait...WHAT ABOUT AFRICA? The most impoverished continent? The one with the poorest nations by far?

Coincidentally - or not - this poll ran right next to an opinion column by Campbell Clark extolling the virtues of Stephen Harper's "America First" foreign aid strategy. Now, there may be merits to Clark's argument; there may even be merits to Harper's strategy. I haven't examined the issue at all. But it does seem awfully manipulative to limit the polling choices like this - almost as if they're looking for a particular result. And speaking of the results...

Gee, what  a surprise. That's the liberal media for you, I guess!

Terror in the Darkroom

During grades 11 and 12, I served as the editor of the Leduc Composite High School newspaper. Here I am in the school's Visual Communications Lab sometime during the spring of 1987; I'm pretty sure Jonathan Wright snapped the photo, and I remain impressed by the lighting and the depth of field. Good job, Jonathan!

The lab featured a darkroom (hidden behind the wall to my left in this picture), and Jonathan and I could often be found in the dim red light developing negatives and prints. With the advent of digital photography, I wonder how many schools are still teaching kids how to develop film; I wonder if the school darkroom in Leduc still functions as such or if it's been converted to some other purpose. I love my digital camera, but I also loved experimenting in the darkroom. You could produce all kinds of interesting effects using primitive analog means. Even the mistakes could create beautiful results if you were fortunate.

One day, Jonathan and I were working in the darkroom and for whatever reason we were talking about monsters or serial killers or something along those lines to pass the time. We didn't know that our teacher/supervisor, Mr. Banford, was standing outside and had, quite coincidentally, decided to play a minor practical joke on us: he flipped off the light switch, plunging the darkroom into literal darkness. Of course we immediately suspected that some fiend was about to leap out of the inky black and slaughter us like helpless sheep.
Jonathan and I panicked, running blindly for the heavy steel revolving door that was the room's only exit. We crashed into it together, screaming and yelling, staggering into the harsh light of the main lab, a little bruised and banged up, but otherwise unharmed.

Our teach was holding his side, tears of laughter spilling down his cheeks. Jonathan and I were both a little annoyed, but we had to admit - he got us, but good.

Mr. Banford was awesome, and I thank him for encouraging me to work on the newspaper (and the yearbook), where I developed so many of my passions.

The Claresholm Local Press

Back in 2002 I travelled through Claresholm to visit my old friend from the University of Alberta, Rob Vogt. Rob and I lived on the same floor  at Lister Hall (Main Kelsey, to be exact) for a couple of years; I'm still waiting for his promised book about residence life during those years.

Claresholm is a cool little place, a small town straddling Highway 2, about halfway between Calgary and Lethbridge, and I popped in to visit Rob at the Claresholm Local Press, where he worked as a reporter. (Rob has since become the paper's editor.) The paper is as old as Alberta itself, with a long, rich history.

I couldn't stay for long, but Rob was kind enough to show me around the office. I was awestruck by this gorgeous old printing press.

Local papers are a vital source of information and cohesion for small communities. Rob's story here on provincial budget cuts to education illustrates how decisions made in the provincial capital impact people hundreds of kilometres distant.

The Internet is challenging print media of all kinds, from magazines to books to newspapers. Even small community papers like the Claresholm Local Press have an online presence now, and perhaps the decline of printed reading material is inevitable. I'll be sad when that day arrives. Although I love the convenience and portability of the Internet, I don't think I'll ever lose my love of paper and ink.

The Young Journalists

Back in high school, I served as Editor-in-Chief of the school newspaper. The Representative, Leduc's newspaper, even gave me an award for it; I only mention it because I just remembered that odd little fact. I don't remember why the award was given or if we published anything that merited the recognition, but I do remember the fun we had. The guy with the gun is British expatriate Jonathan Wright, a madcap fellow who was a whiz with the Apple Lisa pictured in the background. He handled a variety of tasks, from photography to layout, and contributed some of the newspaper's stranger articles.

I'm not really sure why I'm regarding Jonathan with such consternation - perhaps because he brought a gun to the Visual Communications lab? (It was only plastic.)

Years later, I ran into Jonathan at the Legislature Annex, where I work for the Alberta Liberal Caucus. I was surprised to learn that Jonathan was working for the communications staff of then-Premier Ralph Klein, and had even written speeches for him (see correction below)- just as I'd written speeches for Official Opposition Leader Kevin Taft.

The era of Ralph Klein and Kevin Taft seems like it happened decades ago, but it was only 2006. Time flies in politics - faster now than ever before.

As an aside, Jonathan introduced me to the Internet way back in 1986. It was he who showed me how to hook up a 300 baud modem to a computer to access Edmonton's electronic bulletin boards, or BBSes. Back then the text (and there was only text) loaded so slowly that most people read far faster than the data scrolled by. Nowadays, political communicators and journalists are bound together by the Internet, sharing scoops, spreading rumours and trading barbs in real time. Given the tone of most of these communications, it seems a mixed blessing.

CORRECTION: Jonathan himself emailed me to note that my memory is a little off. Jonathan wasn't writing speeches for Premier Klein; rather, he prepared media briefings for Klein, and later for Jim Dinning and Stockwell Day. He's since moved on. Thanks for the correction and for touching base, Jonathan!

Canadian Authors Share Their Experiences at Grant MacEwan Talk

I don't have much to write about tonight, so I thought I'd share an assignment I completed a couple of years ago for a Grant MacEwan journalism course. If you have any interest at all in writing, perhaps this will be of interest.

Canadian Authors Share Their Experiences at Grant MacEwan Talk

An informal discussion on the life of a typical writer turned into a sometimes-heated debate on the ethics of the editorial process.

Canadian authors Alberto Manguel, Peter Oliva, and Thomas Horton were the guests at the seminar, held at Grant MacEwan Community College on Thursday. The talk was entitled “Calling or Mauling?” in recognition of the struggles authors often face when attempting to make a living as a writer.

Horton began the discussion by relating the experiences leading to the publication of his novel Icefields. “I wrote my own comic books as a kid, but it took me a while to realize that I could actually make a living as a writer.”

Horton said that the first time he’d shown his creative writing to anyone other than family members was at a creative writing course at the University of Alberta taught by Greg Hollingshead. There, Horton began working on a short story that eventually evolved into Icefields.

“It took a while to figure out what the hell I was writing about,” he said.

Horton passed the book on to another noted Alberta author, Rudy Wiebe. A member of the editorial board of NeWest Press, Wiebe recommended the book for publication. Icefields has since become an international bestseller.

Oliva, who operates a Calgary bookstore in addition to his writing career, said that he got into writing because he was “very bad at mathematics.” While studying computer science, Oliva rediscovered his love of stories and decided to change his field of study.

“I have to give some of the credit for my success to my dad, who was pretty famous back home for his different versions of 'Jack and the Beanstalk,'” he said.

Oliva, too, took a creative writing course in university.

“There, criticism was used like a farm implement. You’d wield a pitchfork like a samurai sword, and you had to develop a thick skin.”

Oliva sent his first novel, Dreaming in Darkness, to several publishers. When the post office asked him how much the package was worth, Oliva simply wrote “thousands” in recognition of all of the time and effort spent in creating his manuscript.

“What I didn’t know was that Canada Post sends stuff worth over $500 with armed guards, so the publishers took notice when this package showed up.”

Manguel, a Canadian of Argentinean origin, is the co-author of The Dictionary of Imaginary Places, the author of A History of Reading, and a noted anthologist. He noted that his experience had been very different than his younger compatriots. “In Argentina, the notion of having creative writing courses is totally alien. Indeed, no one expects writing to provide financial support.”

He called Canada “a society in which writing is cushioned in every possible way.”

Manguel admitted to being “shocked by the arrogance” of editors. “In Argentina, the writer writes, and the publisher publishes. There is no editor. Indeed, I am enormously wary of the intervention of editors.”

Manguel alluded to a “lost literature” of Canada, the unchanged, unedited works of Canadian authors. He went on to say that Cervantes and Shakespeare certainly never had to endure the interference of editors.

This sparked a heated reply from Rudy Wiebe, in attendance at the event.

“Shakespeare’s early plays are idiotic,” he said, “do we want to live in a 16th century world? Editors make better books.”

“Aren’t writers often editors?” another member of the audience asked.

“The nasty answer is, they’re frustrated writers,” Manguel replied, “but of course that’s not always the case.”

Manguel admitted that editors could have a positive influence on authors, citing his own editor Barbara Moss.

“She would ask me of my stories, ‘Why are you telling me this, a perfect stranger?’ That question always helped me to create better works.”

On the calling of writing, Manguel said “If you ask yourself ‘Should I write?’ the answer is no.”