What the Heck Is Frozen Shoulder?

On Tuesday morning, I went in to see my doctor about the stiffness that's been growing in my right arm for the last few weeks. She examined me and determined that I have "frozen shoulder," AKA adhesive capsulitis. I'm in the early stages; currently I can raise my right arm almost to shoulder level, so I can still type--crucial for my job (and this blog). I'm already useless, though, for lifting anything, no matter how light, to shoulder level, let alone above that. Turning left in a vehicle is also tough because the right arm naturally stretches over as you turn the wheel. 

The condition both arises and disappears spontaneously, lasting months or years at a time. But I'm looking into what treatments might be effective other than physio (which I've booked) and simply waiting things out. 

All in all, even with this diagnosis I still feel pretty fortunate. Even if it takes a long time, my shoulder will unfreeze one way or another, and I know I can adapt in the interim. Other people have gotten far worse news from their doctor, so I'm grateful. 
 

Unhappy Canada Day

The Great Western Canadian Heat Wave of 2021 hit me hard last night, and the effects have lasted all Canada Day. Normally this would not be a big deal, except that I was really looking forward to today because it would have been the first social gathering Sylvia and I have attended since before the COVID-19 pandemic hit; and for that matter, the first time in years that we had decent plans for Canada Day. 

So I guess I'm feeling a bit out of sorts. And now I feel guilty, because hundreds of people in British Columbia are dead thanks to the heat wave, and there are probably more casualties around the world that I haven't heard of yet. 

And it scares me that this could be the new normal.

I'm glad that my friends were able to get together, though, and there will be other gatherings. 

Ugh, my privilege is leaking. 

JULY 4 UPDATE

Turns out my privilege really was leaking because in my heat-addled haze, I hadn't realized that there were calls around the country to cancel or at least tone down Canada Day celebrations to recognize the old wounds of Indigenous peoples in Canada freshly torn open by the discovery of mass graves at several locations across the country. To complain about a missed gathering obviously feels pretty tone deaf in retrospect, and if any Indigenous people ever read this blog, please accept my apologies for my insensitivity. For some great reflections on this topic, please see my friend Steve's blog: Oh . . . Canada. 

Dramatic Irony

 Weak as a kitten starting at about 7:30 tonight. I think maybe I have heat exhaustion. 

Heat Exhaustion vs Heat Stroke

The US National Weather Service created a handy infographic to help people learn the difference in symptoms between heat exhaustion and (much more serious) heat stroke. I know I've experienced heat exhaustion several times in my life, and I'm pretty sure that I've experienced heat stroke at least once, based on this chart. Luckily I survived even without medical treatment, but I'll never count on that kind of dumb luck again. 
 

98,000 Calories

On Saturday, a half-dozen friends assembled at Steve's for some board gaming. During the evening, several of my buddies used mobile apps to record the beers they were drinking, in much the same way as I use Letterboxd to record the films I've watched.

"Someone should make an app like that for Coke," I said.

"They'll never do it," Jeff replied. "People would stop drinking it."

I knew exactly what Jeff meant; if people realized how much soda they were drinking, they'd become more aware of the extent of their habit. So I quickly calculated the health impact of the Coke I drink, estimating two cans a day at 140 calories a can. My eyes bulged when I saw that amounted to a staggering 98,000 calories a year, which Pete and Mike helpfully translated into about 25 pounds of extra weight a year. Holy Moley! No wonder I've fattened up over the years.

Keep ‘em Laughing

Yesterday I had some minor surgery on my jaw, and the doctors knocked me unconscious for the duration of the operation. When I awoke, I felt something stuffed into my mouth. I couldn't open my eyes or move my body to see what it was, but I could bawl out the question: "Hey! Wash ish thish im my mouff?"

"It's just some gauze to stop the bleeding, sir," someone answered.

"Well, that's gauze for concern!" I retorted, laughing hysterically. "Gauze for concern!"

I don't think anyone else laughed.

Earl on Ice

My Bout with Gout

ow
ow!
OW
OW!
OWOWOW!!
AIIIEEEEEEEEEEE
(sob) WHYYYYYYYYYYYY

Sour Surprise

Our friend Steven visited for a few days. Early Tuesday morning, just before his scheduled departure, I found him in the kitchen sitting down to enjoy a bowl of Raisin Bran. And why not? I told him to help himself to anything in the fridge or pantry. Nonetheless, I was puzzled:

"We had milk?" I asked. Our fridge is often bereft of such staples.

"Yep," he said, laying into the cereal with a will.

"That's weird," I thought. "I was sure I drank the last of the milk a few days ago."

I thought nothing of it until late that evening, when Sylvia cried out:

"EARL! Did Steven have cereal?"

"Yes, he had it for breakfast just before he left."

"I think he used expired milk!"

Oh oh.

I checked the fridge. On the top shelf was the suspect container, and the Best Before date read September 10.

Sylvia and I were horrified. We'd poisoned our house guest! Our haphazard approach to throwing out old food had finally caught up with us!

I texted Steven to see if he was all right. He replied that there were no ill effects, save perhaps "...a little more gas than usual."

Saved by Steven's iron stomach! Still, we're very embarrassed. We don't set out to make our guests sick. We'd rather offer the milk of human kindness. 

The Ring Finger Thing

A couple of months ago I discovered a small lump on the underside of my left ring finger, between the second and third knuckles.

"That's weird," I thought.

I stroked it with my thumb to test its consistency. It was quite hard, and resisted my attempts to move it very far. To see if it was painful, I applied pressure.

To my surprise, it popped without a sound and vanished. There was no pain, just a feeling of vague unease. Had I just burst a malevolent sac of festering disease, or an air bubble waiting to give me an aneurysm? I experienced some anxious moments, but now that several weeks have passed I assume I'm in the clear.

It was still a little weird, though. 

Smoky Skyscrapers

Stress

To be clear, I'm not actually stressed; the title is inspired by the stress toy I'm beating on. I figure this thing will provide me with a good workout option at the office; I'll beat on it for 15 minutes each lunch hour. 

99 and 4/10ths Dead

In Stephen King's The Stand, an experimental flu virus, Captain Trips, kills 99.4 percent of Earth's population. That made me wonder how many people would be left on Earth of the events of The Stand happened today. Simple math reveals that out of 7.276 billion, 43,656,000 would survive Captain Trips, scattered all over the planet. That number of survivors could entirely repopulate Argentina with a couple of million left over; it couldn't quite repopulate Ukraine.

It's only natural to wonder how many Canadians could be expected to survive. The answer: about 200,000 people, or a little over the population of Regina, Saskatchewan. Of course all Canada's survivors wouldn't be concentrated in one place, so let's imagine how many survivors there might be in each province and territory: 

Nunavut: 191

Yukon: 203

Northwest Territories: 249

Prince Edward Island: 841

Newfoundland and Labrador: 3,087

New Brunswick: 4,507

Nova Scotia: 5,531

Saskatchewan: 6,200

Manitoba: 7,250

Alberta: 21,872

British Columbia: 26,400

Quebec: 47,418

Ontario: 77,111

It's pretty sobering to imagine being one of 200,000 or so survivors in a country as vast as this one. Supposing that the electrical grid would take a little while to collapse, I suppose survivors could find each other by frantically posting on Twitter or making YouTube videos, since there's be virtually no competition for being at the top of the new content lists. 

See Me, Heel Me

I've been trying to get some exercise this week by taking long walks at lunch, but it appears to have backfired on me as I now can't put any weight on my right foot, particularly the heel. But late this afternoon I remember that this has happened to me once before, back when I was working at Hole's. At the time the doctor said I'd been doing too much walking on hard, flat surfaces - i.e. sidewalks and concrete. It wound up taking six weeks of physiotherapy to fix, mainly dipping my foot into alternating hot and icy cold water. Not much fun. 

Bellyache Haiku

Innards churn loosely
Bile fills my bitter mouth now
Green flesh pales sickly

Wasted days taunt me
Two of them lost to time now
Overtime in my future

 

We'll Call it the Nau-Sea

This is how I felt when I awoke this morning.

Charred Pepper

Feeling a little under the weather today - might be a flu coming on - so today's post is short and sweet...sweet pepper, that is. Last night Sylvia and I attended another magnificent Geekquinox, and these charred peppers played a key role in the main course. More details when I'm feeling better.

When You're Hot, You're Hot

Whew! It's a scorcher in Alberta's capital today - enough heat to knock out power at the corner of 124th street and Jasper Avenue and to incapacitate my afternoon bus right at that very intersection. Dead bus + no traffic lights = cranky commuters, whether on public transit or private vehicles.

Fortunately another bus rescued the two dozen or so sweaty riders belched from the doors of our fallen carriage, and despite what seemed an interminable delay escaping the gridlock on the west end of Jasper, I made it to West Edmonton Mall in time to catch a transfer home. (Normally I walk from WEM to our condo, but today I was worried I'd catch heat stroke, as I so often have in the past.)

As a creature of the north, I still find Alberta's hot summer days uncomfortable, even many years after I should have acclimatized. Since my body refuses to accept that it doesn't live in northern Manitoba anymore, I've had to take precautions such as drinking lots of water and staying in cool basements or air-conditioned offices.

How Many Times Has Earl Suffered Heat Stroke? (not a comprehensive list)

"I'll certainly be cool enough next to this fountain!"

1. Namao air show circa 1988 and again circa 1990 (rendered unto incoherence to the nervous glances of friends, skin tone: Afterburner Glow)
2. Las Vegas 2004 ("Boy, you look like a boiled lobster!" exclaimed one helpful southerner; incapacitated for one day, skin tone: Three-Cherry Jackpot)
3. Honolulu 2008 while listening to a Barack Obama campaign speech (skin tone: Republican Rage)
4. Mexico 2012 while touring Chitzen Itza (rescued by helpful Mayans and Germans, skin tone: Abashed Tourist)
5. Nelson, B.C. circa 1973 (vomited up pink ice cream, saved by parents, skin tone: Tantrum Toddler) 

Stay frosty out there.

"Hey now, someone tell that Canadian kid to put on some sunscreen."

Mexican Sendoff, Part Two

While Sylvia and I took great pains to prevent me from yet again getting heat stroke and sunburn in the middle of a vacation, the Mexican sun turned out to be too powerful for both of us. A couple of days of fooling around in the pool gave both of us pretty nasty burns despite our efforts to repeatedly slather ourselves with the most powerful sunblock available.

At this point, however, we were both ignorant of the damage we were doing to our skin, and blithely moved on to scratch an important item from Sylvia's bucket list: swimming with dolphins. Here are the highlights of that experience:

Sylvia proved an adept dolphin rider. Dolphin Riders of Quintana Roo...might make a good adventure series.

I managed to avoid drowning, but I did swallow quite a bit of salt water.

The dolphin gave me a kiss to help me feel better. Fresh!

To reiterate an earlier post, swimming with dolphins would never have occurred to me independently, but I'm very glad Sylvia convinced me to do it.

Here are some special bonus poolside shenanigans. Tomorrow, our adventures in Chitzen Itza!

Super Hombre Tourista displays remarkable feats of strength! Unlike the Hulk, this hero's skin turns red as he gets stronger.

Smokin' New Law

Working in politics can be frustrating when you're in opposition, but once in a blue moon you have a really good day. Today was one of those days - a day when you feel like a true public servant doing good work for the people of Alberta.

In a moment so rare that I've been unable to find out if it's ever happened in Alberta before today, an MLA other than a government member proposed a bill that actually passed third reading in Alberta Legislature. That piece of legislation, Bill 203, was brought to the floor of the assembly by none other than Official Opposition Leader Raj Sherman.

It's a great bill - well, a great law, now - that makes it illegal to smoke in a vehicle while there are minors present, punishable by a $1000 fine on the first offence. As an emergency room doctor, it's only natural that Dr. Sherman brought this bill forward to protect kids from the health hazards of second-hand smoke. Even the PC government found it impossible to vote against this bill!

It's important to note, however, that the government has hedged its bets a little, amending the bill so that it doesn't come into force on January 1, 2013, as Raj intended, but upon "proclamation," which means that the government retains final control over when the law takes effect - if ever, if one were feeling cynical. But I hope that the PCs will see that it doesn't benefit anyone to delay. The sooner smokers break the habit of smoking cars with kids, the better for all concerned.