Superman vs. Apollo

Many years ago, Jeff and Susan and Ron and Tony came over to make some silly stop-action movies with me. Here's a screenshot from one of them, "Superman Gets Drunk:" Superman assaults an innocent Command/Service Module (CSM) from the Apollo program. I really need to digitize the video and post it on YouTube. 

The Wrong Turn

Many years ago--sometime during the early-to-mid 1990s--I was out with my friends Jeff, Susan, Tony, Steven and Ron. Carrie and Allan may have been there too. We were out searching for films to play for our semi-regular bad movie night. Back in those halcyon days, we would visit video rental stores and pore over racks and racks of VHS cassettes. Sometimes the trip itself was as fun or more than the movies themselves.

In this particular instance, we spotted a video store in the Oliver district of Edmonton, in the strip mall that hosts a Brit's Fish & Chips now. We sauntered in and started browsing, and within a few minutes we all realized that the entire store consisted only of the porn section...it was, in fact, an adult video store, a fact that all of us somehow missed. We skittered out, tittering nervously, faces flushed with embarrassed laughter. We were all close, but not so close that we had any interest in perusing pornography together; we were not nearly so hip.

I don't recall if we regrouped to find another video store or if we wound up playing board games or something. It's funny how some memories stick, while others flutter off into invisibility. 

Two Months to Go

I still remember discussing the cancellation of Twin Peaks in one of my English or Political Science classes with a fellow student; I can recall his face, but not his name. I remember, too, watching some of the episodes over at Tony Longworth`s place with other members of the University of Alberta Star Trek Club. And I remember watching the entire run of the show all over again on the then-new Bravo! channel shortly after graduation. But after that, the show slowly faded into dreamlike memories, and I lamented its passing.

At the time, it felt like Twin Peaks opened up the true nature of reality: a maelstrom of madness and decency, the uncanny woven into the fabric of the mundane, with good and wondrous people doing their best to lift us away from horror and suffering. I thought it was magical.

But can David Lynch and Mark Frost recapture that magic, over a quarter of a century later? I don't know. But I'll be watching. 

Box Kite Flight

Leap for freedom, box kite
Slip the surly bonds, take flight
And you would, were it not
For the terrible power
Of gravity and string
Sad tuba

Earl Noir

If it were shot on black and white film instead of colour videotape, I'd almost claim that this screen capture from Generous Nature could serve as a legitimate example of film noir, thanks to its claustrophobic composition. I totally meant to do that! 

Fast & Furious

I don't remember who took this photo back in 1990 - it might have been Ron, it might have been me, it might even have been a proto-selfie shot by Tony himself - but I've always loved the juxtaposition of Tony's Muppet-like wonder over Jeff's annoyed fury in the background. It's possible I'm mixing memories, but I believe we were on the way to shoot off a bunch of fireworks in the vacant lot across from Tony's apartment. The video of that event is pretty amusing...

Earl's On Whyte!

...and acting like a goof, for some reason. I believe Tony Longworth shot these photos sometime during the early 1990s. 

Revisiting The X from Outer Space

One evening sometime in the late 80s to early 90s, I sat down with Jeff and Susan and possibly Ron and Tony and maybe Steven to watch The X from Outer Space on VHS cassette. I don't remember much about that night other than Jeff's mocking chant: "AAB Gamma! AAB Gamma! Come in, AAB Gamma! Oh no, AAB Gamma!"

I found it pretty funny, because of course that phrase or ones much like it were repeated ad nauseum throughout this curious little Japanese space thriller. In short, a crew of Japanese astronauts (very multicultural, some ethnic Japanese, some caucasian), embark on a rocket flight to Mars, but due to asteroids and UFOs they give up, land on the moon, switch out a crew member, and inadvertently bring the egg of a monster back to Earth. The monster destroys Tokyo, the scientists synthesize a substance to defeat it, and star-crossed lovers gaze at Mount Fuji.

I remember the plot because Sylvia and I just watched it again. Her judgement of the film surprised me.

"Well, what did you think?" I asked.

"Oh, it was good," she said.

"Really?!"

"It wasn't as annoying as some of your other weird crap."

She had me there.

The Shock Fight

I looked on in bemusement as Jeff and Tony shuffled across the carpeted floor of Tony's apartment in their sock feet, attempting to build up electrical charges sufficient to zap one another with static electricity.

 

It was a shock fight.

 

The combatants taunted each other as they pointed fingers dangerously rich in electric potential, two young, gaunt men, one brunette, one blonde, cackling like madmen as their friends, I among them, watched.

 

Our grins were tolerant, our sidelong glances slightly mocking. How silly, we said silently, for two grown men (ah, but how young we really were, scarce more than teenagers) to gambol about like little boys on a playground. Soon, we imagined, they would tire of this juvenile pastime and we could all re-focus on more important matters, such as the latest episode of Twin Peaks or our progress through the Wasteland on Tony's PC.

 

The shock fight rose in intensity, socked feet wearing tracks into the abused carpet, Jeff's lips twisted back in a snarl, Tony's eyes feverish with combat-lust. And then time slowed as the unthinkable happened:

 

The men closed in on one another, socks sparking invisibly, flesh tingling with tightly bound energy aching to be unleashed. Jeff's guard was down for an instant as Tony's hand rose in a graceful arc toward his foe's brutish visage. My eyebrows climbed toward my hairline as I experienced a sudden dark warning of disaster, but too late, for in that instant a bolt of miniature lightning formed an eldritch connection between the tip of Tony's outstretched index finger and the bulge of Jeff's unsuspecting right eyeball. There was a loud snap, followed by a wail of agony as Jeff clapped both hands over his quivering eye.

 

"MY EYE!" he screamed. Tony stepped back, pressing his hands over his mouth in surprised horror, his own eyes wide with shock as he realized what he'd done.

 

"Oh no!" Susan screamed, her hands, too, leaping to a mouth agape in horror.

 

"Good Lord," Ron said, chuckling, hands on hips, as Steven shook his head and sighed. Andrea merely rolled her eyes.

 

As for my hands, they went to my then-firm belly as I roared with laughter, my head tossed back in glee, lost in a fit of sadistic mirth.

 

Jeff's yelling and cursing steadily decreased in pitch and volume as the swelling went down, though hot tears streamed down his flushed cheeks. Tony, unabashed, regained some of his earlier bravado and taunted Jeff further. I cackled on the couch for a while until I was breathless, then paused to catch that breath only to lose myself in hilarity again. Jeff's pain abated long before I finished.

 

While silly and perhaps even dangerous, I'll never forget the sheer spectacle of that evening's shocking entertainment. You could even say I got a real charge out of it.

Kick-start My Heart

Now that I'm employed again, I'm having a hard time stopping myself from supporting various projects on Kickstarter, specifically a number of really cool-looking games:

Project Eternity: From the guys that brought us Planescape: Torment, several of the Fallout games, Baldur's Gate and more comes a new isometric 3D fantasy RPG that looks cool as all heck. This one's already funded, thank goodness, and I can't wait until it's released.

Wasteland 2: I remember being enthralled by Wasteland back in the 90s, when Jeff and Ron and Susan and Steven and Andrea and I gathered at Tony's place to guide our avatars - survivors of a global thermonuclear war - through the wastelands. If this is half as good as the original, it'll be worth playing.

Ogre: I had a heck of a time playing this back in the 80s, and now Steve Jackson's first game returns in a deluxe edition. I can't wait.

Carmageddon Reincarnation: For folks with sick, twisted senses of humour, Carmageddon and Carmageddon 2 were gifts from the gods. Vehicular mayhem returns!

Deadwood Studios USA: I love movies. I love westerns. I love board games. This game combines all three, casting you in the role of bad actor struggling to make a living working in Z-grade western films. And it's from proven studio Cheapass Games! They're even offering the original edition of Deadwood for free on their website. Blam!

All Quiet on the Martian Front: This looks like the miniatures game that was specifically designed for me: Martian tripods versus puny but plucky humans of the post-Victorian era! The models are gorgeous, and it seems like the kind of game I could convince at least a couple of my friends to play.

Age is starting to make me a little cynical, but I really think the Kickstarter model has the potential to make all kinds of small-scale business ventures possible - projects lacking wide mainstream appeal, but with enough dedicated core support to succeed if only we could be made aware of the possibilities. Kickstarter brings creative folks and their fans together, and so far that looks like a pretty good thing.

Tony's Tirade

One of the things I love about my friend Tony is his complete lack of inhibitions. Back in the early 90s Tony seemed to be riding a constant sugar rush - and no wonder, since I witnessed him dumping six or seven packets of sugar into his iced tea on more than one occasion. I'm not sure what he's doing in this picture, but if I had to guess he's probably mocking Hitler, who certainly deserves eternal derision. Of course, once again I'm missing all the action by reading when I should be paying attention to my surroundings.

These days, Tony is an important contributor to The Paltry Sapien. Check it out - he's always finding important and interesting material, typically much more topical than this meandering blog.

Meme Master

My old friend Allan is enjoying some Internet fame at the moment thanks to a simple but clever observation about the exponentially increasing graphic complexity of computer games. I'm not surprised that Allan's found a wide audience (nearly 500,000 views as of this writing!), because I remember the very passionate conversations we had on the topic back when we were living in the Bleak House of Blahs.

At the time my favourite game was Civilization - the first one, seen above. I played it in my basement room on an Atari ST with relatively primitive graphics. Around the same time I remember visiting Tony to play Wasteland on his IBM-compatible, while Allan used his Amiga to experiment with the then-cutting edge Video Toaster. We often wondered how long it would be before computer games were completely photo-realistic. We're not there yet, but I'm sure that in another twenty years Allan will need to post an updated graphic, one that places the Skyrim image on top and something with fidelity we can't even imagine on the bottom. I can't wait to play that game!

Man with 2 Kites

At last, the long-awaited sequel to Man with a Kite! Thanks again to Tony Longworth for shooting the original photo back in the early 90s.

Man with a Kite

Original photo by Tony Longworth, shot back in the early 90s in south Edmonton. Judging by the poster, would you guess this film will turn out to be a soul-searching drama about a man finding his place in the universe, or an action thriller about a maniac with a kite bomb? It's amazing how design choices can influence a work.

20 Years of Nursing

I just realized - a few months late, admittedly - that my friend Susan has been a nurse for 20 years. This photo was taken at her graduation ceremony at the Jubilee Auditorium back in January of 1992. She's supported here by her friends, all members of the University of Alberta Star Trek Club: her brother Steven Neumann, future husband Jeff Shyluk, Tony Longworth, Jim Sandercock, and me. I have no idea how many babies Susan has taken care of over the years, but it must be thousands, and certainly countless families are in her debt.

Enjoy the next 20 years, Susan!

Tony on Salt Lake City

It's unfair, but whenever I find myself in Salt Lake City, I remember my first passage through it via Interstate 15. 15 young people crammed into a 15-person van en route to Los Angeles in 1992 surveyed the wastelands bracketing the highway, including such charming urban design as a prison built across the street from a watermark, doubtless to taunt the prisoners. Tony Longworth summed it up best:

"Look at all the horses, dying in the mire!"

No Mere Paltry Sapien

My old friend Tony Longworth (pictured above falling down a flight of stairs in the University of Alberta's Student Union Building) has started a fascinating new blog called The Paltry Sapien. It's quite eclectic and well-designed, with some pretty big-name contributors. Check it out!

Generous Nature DVD Cover

I've posted previously about Generous Nature and the other amateur films created by my friends in the University of Alberta Star Trek Club back in the 80s and 90s. A couple of years ago I went to the trouble of burning the short film to DVD and creating a custom cover for it. While I like the minimalist front cover, were I to do it again I would have made the title much larger. And I would have gone to the trouble of creating some sell copy for the back cover.

Here's the film again, for those who missed it:

Through a Lens, Darkly

I've always loved Halloween. My first Halloween - at least, the first I remember - happened in Leaf Rapids. It was an unseasonably warm October that year - "unseasonably warm" for northern Manitoba meaning that it was merely freezing, with wet snow chilling me to the bone. I only remember that wet snow and the ghost costume my mother hand-made for me sticking to my skin, soaking. I think I had fun anyway.

The next Halloween I remember happened in Leduc, grade five or six. I made my own costume this time; I was a robot. I stapled cardboard boxes together with a staple gun and covered everything in tin foil. There was a dance, and the costume was so hot that I felt faint...plus the staples were jabbing into my body. It was extremely uncomfortable.

Here's a photo of Jeff Pitts and Kevin Kelly and me, ready to head out for some Halloween event or another in 1987. I don't remember anything about what we might have done that night; without this photo, I wouldn't have been able to tell you that I did anything for Halloween in 1987 at all. It's odd that this picture was taken at Mom and Dad's place in Leduc, since I would have been living at Lister Hall at the U of A at the time, in my first year of post-secondary education.

I do remember Halloween 1990, though; a bunch of friends gathered at Earl's on the university campus and then headed over to Lister Hall for the Halloween dance. I think Ron Briscoe's defrocked priest was the best costume, although Jeff and Susan as Prince and Princess Charming were pretty awesome too. Then again, so was Tony's genie...and so was Carrie's harem girl. I'm not sure who Steven Neumann was supposed to be...I think Michael Snyder was a pirate.

The next Halloween I remember was back in 1996, when Leslie, who was my boss at the time, took me to a GLBT-friendly Halloween party. She was a vampire, I was "Ensign Woods on shore leave." (That is, I wore my old grade nine home-made gold Star Trek tunic, beach shorts and carried around a frisbee.) No pictures of that event, unfortunately, but as you might expect because of gay stereotypes, the costumes were really terrific. The people were really nice, too, especially considering I was still pretty naive about gay and lesbian culture at the time.

Sylvia's birthday falls just a few days before Halloween. I don't recall what we did for the holiday that year, but it was Sylvia's 35th birthday - the first I'd experienced as her boyfriend - and we celebrated the milestone by throwing a huge party.

By 2006 we had our own home and were carving pumpkins together.

Only a few of the intrepid folks at the Official Opposition dressed up for Halloween in 2007, but our boss Judy was one of them, in an amazing Three Stooges mask.

In 2008, Sylvia borrowed my phaser and my old Star Trek command tunic (originally made in grade nine!) to gently mock my pop culture obsessions.

I wish I had more photos to prop up my Halloween memories, but these will have to do. Until next year...happy haunting.

This One Never Gets Old

I believe I've written of my sheep joke in the past. You remember - I was out at the Olive Garden with a bunch of friends for Tony Longworth's birthday. He ordered swordfish, took a bite and said it tasted like sheep, to which I said, "You can always send it baaaa-ck." Cue appalled stares and zero laughs.

Well, last night, at the Alberta Liberal Caucus staff holiday party, my hour came 'round at last once again. We were gathered at Langano Skies, an Ethiopian restaurant on Whyte Avenue. Kelly had pre-ordered our meal, asking for "anything but lamb." She reiterated the request to one of the owners, who came by to visit our table.

Of course, I couldn't resist this golden opportunity. I caught Kelly's attention and said, "So you're saying that if any lamb shows up on our table, you're going to send it baaaaa-ck."

I got a couple of actual laughs this time, so the joke is clearly improving with age.