Clowns, clowns, they're evil and weird 
Even young children and pets have they jeered 
Clowns, clowns, with faces all painted 
Even strong men when confronted have fainted 
Who was the sadist who came up with clowns? 
Those merry mad demons who joyfully drown 
All hopes and all dreams and all manner of joy 
Who cheerfully laugh as they eat little boys 
If I had two wishes, the first thing I'd do 
Is wish all clowns away, and for wish number two 
I'd erase all the clowns who lived in the past 
(Like Fatty Arbuckle, alleged pederast) 
Clowns, clowns, they juggle and jape 
Those terrible, tortured, juggling jackanapes 
Harlequin horrors under the big tops 
Backstabbing jesters, dagger-toothed fops 
Clowns, clowns, Pagliacchis and Jokers 
Stabbing your eyes out with gleaming hot pokers 
Joy buzzers and spritzers and fools stuffed in cars 
A pie in the face, and Bozo on Mars... 
Clowns, clowns, they won't go away 
No matter how much little boys and girls pray
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