DC Editor for a Day

Let's say, for some insane reason, DC Comics decided to give me editorial control over their line of comic book titles, but only to the extent that I could create a slate of comics based strictly on existing characters.  

Well, I'd create the line that I would want to read, without regard for sales viability. Here's what it would look like, imagining that each title has an incredible creative team: 

 

Superman Books

Action Comics (anthology led by Superman, just the way it started back in 1938)

DC Comics Presents (Superman team-up stories)

Lana Lang (Lana Lang, on-again off-again girlfriend of Clark Kent, goes on archeological adventures from Qurac to Skartaris to Atlantis) 

Lex Luthor (diabolical tales of Lex Luthor's infamies great and small) 

Lois Lane: Woman of Steel (Lois Lane's adventures as a brave, bold reporter) 

Man of Tomorrow (Superman's adventures with the adult Legion of Super-Heroes)

Man of Steel (Superman's adventures as a radical 

The Private Life of Clark Kent (Clark Kent's day-to-day adventures in journalism, dating, grocery shopping, etc.) 

Supergirl (stories of Kara Zor-El, Superman's cousin) 

Superman (Superman's main title, with his biggest adventures)

Young Clark Kent (Clark Kent's life in Smallville, as his powers were developing; frequently crosses over with Legion of Super-Heroes, below)

Batman Books

Batgirl (the adventures of congresswoman Barbara Gordon, AKA Batgirl, in Washington, DC)

Batman (Batman's main title, two-fisted street crime adventures) 

The Brave and the Bold (Batman team-up stories) 

Legends of the Dark Knight (Batman stories told from the perspective of his villains) 

Detective Comics (anthology led by Batman, just the way it started; detective stories) 

Team Books

Birds of Prey (Batgirl, Black Canary, Huntress, and Hawk and Dove fight street-level crime) 

Blackhawks! (a squad of pilots from around the world fly into danger wherever they can find it!) 

Doom Patrol (DP members from all incarnations of the team gather to fight the weirdest threats ever) 

Freedom Fighters (the heroes of Earth X have freed their world from tyranny, only to be stranded in ours!) 

Gorilla Soldiers (Congorilla, Detective Chimp, Beppo the Super Monkey, Angel and the Ape, and xx versus their arch-rivals the Ultra-Humanite, Gorilla Grodd, Titano the Super-Ape, and Monsieur Mallah and the Brain.)  

The Haunted Tank (ghostly adventures in World War II) 

Justice League of America (DC's greatest heroes team up to face the biggest threats) 

Justice Society of America (the greatest heroes of the 1930s and 40s fight the Nazis and other fascists and mad scientists) 

Legion of Substitute Heroes (good-hearted Legion rejects try to do the right thing despite their shortcomings) 

Legion of Super-Heroes (dozens of super-powered teenagers of the 31st century explore the galaxy and combat interstellar evil)

Secret Society of Super-Villains (super-villains work in secret, hatching sinister conspiracies to rule the world--but can they avoid killing each other?) 

Suicide Squad (super-villains and anti-heroes reluctantly work together under threat of government sanction, performing secret missions so dangerous that not everyone comes back alive)

Suicide Squad Secret Missions (Suicide Squad anthology)  

Tales of the Green Lantern Corps (anthology series about the non-Terran Green Lanterns) 

Titans (generations of sidekicks work together to prove themselves) 

The Other Heroes

Animal Man

Aquaman

The Atoms (scientists Ray Palmer and Ryan Choi explore the microverse) 

Black Canary

Black Lightning

Blue Beetle

Captain Atom

Elongated Man (back to the original concept, the Nick and Nora Charles of the superhero world; lighthearted mysteries of the jet set) 

Fury of Firestorm (Ron Raymond and Martin Stein take back the Firestorm matrix - but they're not happy about it!) 

Flash Legacy (anthology of stories of the fastest men and women alive, from World War II to the far future) 

Green Arrow

Green Lantern

Hawks (the adventures of Katar and Shayera Hol, police officers of Thanagar) 

Hellblazer

Red Tornado

Shazam! and the Marvel Family

Swamp Thing
Vixen and Bronze Tiger (solo adventures of the Suicide Squad team-mates) 

Wonder Woman

Zatanna

A pretty solid selection of titles--at least from my selfish perspective. 

Double Header's Double Header

The outlook wasn't brilliant for the Legion Subs that day:
The score stood four to none, with but one inning more to play
And then when Bannin died at first, and Wentim did the same,
A pall-like silence fell upon the patrons of the game

A straggling few beamed right back home in deep despair. The rest
Clung to the hope which springs eternal in the human breast;
They thought "If only Frenk and Dyvud could get a whack at that -
We'd put up even credits now, with Double Header at the bat."

But Jath let drive a single, to the wonderment of all,
And Bez, then much despised, tore the cover off the ball;
And when the dust had lifted, and men saw what had occured,
There was Lydda safe at second and Chee a-hugging third.

Then from nine thousand throats and more there rose a lusty yell;
It rumbled through Metropolis and rattled in the dell;
It pounded on League Mountain and recoiled upon the flat,
For Header, Double Header, was advancing to the bat.

There was ease in Dyvud's manner as they stepped into their place;
There was pride in Frenk's blue eyes and a smile lit each pale face.
And when, responding to the cheers, they lightly doffed their hats,
No stranger in the crowd could doubt two champions shared one bat.

Ten million eyes were on them as they rubbed their hands with dirt
Five billion tongues applauded when he wiped them on his shirt;
Then while the Durlan pitcher ground the ball into his mass,
Defiance flashed in four blue eyes, two arms waiting for the cast.

And now the hard Inertron sphere came hurtling through that space,
But Double Header only watched in snooty grandeur there.
Close by the sturdy Substitute the ball unheeded sped -
"That ain't my style," said Dyvud. "Strike one!" the umpire said.

From the benches, black with people, there went up a mighty hiss,
Like the beating of great Darkseid on poor Apokolips;
"Kill him! Kill the umpire!" shouted someone on the stand;
And it's likely they'd have killed him had not Frenk raised up his hand.

With a smile of Kolkerite charity great Header's visage shone;
He stilled the rising tumult; he bade the game go on;
He signaled to the pitcher, and once more the dun steel flew;
But distracted he ignored it, and the umpire called "Strike two!"

"Fraud!" cried the maddened millions, and echo answered, "Fraud!"
But one scornful look from Frenk and Dyvud and the audience was awed.
They saw his faces turn to look each other in the eyes,
For once there was no bickering, for once no cracking wise.

The sneers are gone from their taut lips, their teeth all clenched in hate,
They pound with cruel violence their bat upon the plate;
And now the Durlan holds the ball, and now he lets it go,
And now the air is shattered by the force of Header's blow.

Along the cosmoturf the ball drills deep to center field
Jath and Bez both round the plate, shiny boots on Super shield
But Header scores a double, stranded there at second base
And up comes Stone Boy to the bat, and freezes there in place.

Three strikes whiz by the boy of stone as the fans file out the gates;
The third out done, the Legion subs surrender to the fates.
The Double Header did his best, the fans must give their due
But there's no joy at the home plate; the final score, four to two. 

Stone Boy's Lament

He knows what happens
When stony palm of granite
Meets pomegranate

Call Me Out at the Ball Game - Game 6 Redux & Game 7

Fatz With Batz 21, Liberators 1

Sons of Pitches 22, Liberators 13

Last Monday's rain-soaked double header resulted in double defeat for the Liberators! Team Captain Tanara scored our only run against second-ranked Fatz With Batz, and while our effort against Sons of Pitches bore more fruit - including Carmen's first trip across home plate - we still wound up nine runs behind. As a result, we finish the regular season in eighth place (out of ten). Tonight is our first playoff game, being played even as I type - I'm waiting for our realtor to arrive to get some paperwork done on a new home purchase.

Here are a few highlights from the game:

Tanara and Rick prepare for battle on the ball field.

I knew we were in trouble when I saw the intimidating headgear and professionally printed t-shirts of Fatz With Batz.

Andy makes a daring slide into third base.

Carmen smacked a solid single right through the hole between the shortstop and third base to take first.

Speaking of double headers, it's a shame that the folks at DC comics never thought to have the Legion of Substitute Heroes' Double Header play a baseball game. For those unfamiliar with the character, Double Header was rejected by the Legion of Super-Heroes proper because his super power - having two heads - wasn't deemed useful enough for the team. (The two heads also had a tendency to argue.) But the Substitute Heroes readily accepted him.

I wonder how our team would have fared if Double Header had joined us? Somewhere in a parallel universe, it happened...