Memory Wall

I picked up this wall-hanger thing for sixteen bucks and used it to display about 75% of my collection of buttons and pins dating from the 1970s to the 2020s. This saves a little bit of closet space and, more importantly, puts the nostalgia out where I can see it.
 

Solar Bathos

The sun's kiss
Bathes my laptop in golden rays
Beams that obscure this text and all text
For my monitor is covered in dust
And my keyboard is filthy too
In astra, veritas
Where are my wet wipes?  

Countin' Bagels on the Wall

Today, at about 12:30 PM, I went to the lunchroom to retrieve my lunch from the fridge and toast a bagel. As my bagel toasted, I read a few pages of Olaf Stapledon's Last and First Men, chatting with my colleague Stephanie about the book's themes. When my bagel halves leapt free of the toaster, I smeared generous helpings of generic herb and garlic cream cheese across their golden-brown faces.

Then, I gathered up my lunch. In my left hand were my beverage, two Mandarin oranges, my iPhone, and my plate and the bagel halves it held. I kept my right hand free, knowing that I would need it to scan my passcard to get back through the secure doors that separated the lunchroom and adjoining elevator hallway from my desk.

All seemed well as I strolled down the elevator hall. Moving with great care, I reached for the lanyard holding my security pass and moved it toward the scanner. Alas, the delicate balance of my overloaded left hand was upset, and the plate holding the bagel halves pitched forward. I watched in stunned disbelief as the bottom half of the bagel slipped off the plate and landed cream-cheese-side on the wall next to the scanner, sliding down a couple of decimetres before sticking in place, like an arcane object d'art.

"Ouuarrgghhh!" I yelled. A colleague approached, eyes wide, and said "Oh, wow." He held the door open for me as I peeled the bagel from the wall and scrambled for my desk, putting down the remains of my lunch as I searched for napkins. Finding same, I headed back to the scene of the accident, just in time to see three more colleagues gazing at the cream cheese dripping down the wall.

"I wonder what happened there," my colleague Tyler said as Monica and Ashley gazed at the mess. Fists full of napkins, I quickly explained the situation. Tyler, Monica, and Ashley chortled at my ineptitude.

Resigned, I turned to the slowly congealing mass of cream cheese and began to wipe the wall clean. With exquisite timing, the vice president of my department walked by, looking askance at me; I had to explain again as I wiped away the goo. Only later would I notice, too late, that the belly of my shirt was also coated in cream cheese.

"Oh," she said dryly. "I thought you were just being unusually diligent about upkeep."

I finished up and ate the bagel anyway in a fit of stubborn defiance. 

Rescue at Stantec Tower

Just after the lunch hour today, my colleagues and I at Stantec heard some light banging from the window washer platform on the side of Stantec Tower. I told my colleagues about a video I'd seen some years ago that showed a similar platform being blown all over the sky by high winds, banging into a skyscraper repeatedly. 

Not more than mere seconds after I finished my tale, we heard a tremendous crash. We rushed to the side windows and saw, just two stories below us, the window washer platform sailing through the air, with one of the workers dangling by a rope underneath. There was a collective gasp, and for a long moment I thought for certain I was about to see someone die right in front of me. After that moment passed, I saw that the worker was restrained by his safety harness, but even that knowledge didn't slow down my racing heart. It seemed like forever before emergency services arrived, but in truth it could only have been minutes. Edmonton fire rescue retrieved both men safely. 

I haven't seen it myself, but colleagues reported that at least one window on our fifth floor was smashed through, which I imagine means some of our people had to be moved to other floors. 

Today I feel very grateful for safety equipment and training and first responders. I mean, I always do, but today...especially so. 

Spy Deterrent

Last week I had to have radioactivity injected into my veins for some medical testing. When I returned to work, I mentioned that the nurses had had to inject extra radiation, because there wasn't enough for imaging purposes the first time around. I joked that perhaps I would get super-powers, and that if I could choose, I would choose stretching abilities, since those have the most potential to annoy.

I elaborated: "For example, I could stretch my eyeballs over the barrier to Stephanie's cubicle, here, to spy on her."

"I'd spray them with Windex," she replied dryly.

A good countermeasure, I thought. 

Strange Selfie

I sent this to Sylvia via text last week to show her I was working on the Stantec patio, and it turned out...weird. I wasn't playing with any of the editing functions of the phone, but maybe I hit one by accident without noticing? Or maybe the reflections just gave everything that strange sheen? 

Miniature Ice District

For some reason, the Katz group had a miniature downtown installed in the lobby of Stantec Tower. It would be fun to play with Hot Wheels on this thing. 

You Must Gather Your Party Before Venturing Forth

Yesterday, I had to skip lunchtime D&D at work because of a medical appointment. My character had been badly wounded in a prior episode, and I was at  death's door.  I exhorted my comrades to remember that I had an extra inspiration dice to use if I failed a death save, saying that my next character might be a bard, and no one wants that.

"I think whenever someone dies their next character MUST be a bard," said one of the other players.

"I was just going to say, a party of bards would be fantastic."

Somewhat tickled by the notion, I came up with some party names for such a band/group:

Dungeons & Dirges
F Troupe
DJ XP and the MinMaxers
Lute Not Loot
The Beatdown
Cutte, Thrust, Slash, and Perry
I of the Beholder
Jewel and the Gemstones
That Other Ring
Exclamation Mark and the Questarians feat. Interrobang

And my favourite...

Miami Wound Machine

A Tower Looms

Stantec Tower in Miniature

Here's a brick-build model of Edmonton's Stantec Tower, where I work. It's a pretty good representation--and quite a large model. 

Morning Bootup

Bendy Boardroom

Shadow Glancing

You Know My Name

Fancy nameplate day. 

32 Fictional Novels by 4 Fictional Authors

My friend Meric reached out to some folks for some brainstorming ideas: come up with some titles of novels that might have been written by famous mystery authors being hunted by a werewolf. The author names are Meric's; I came up with their sub-genres and fictional novels.

Dr. Clive Boyle is best known for his foundational scientifiction, but is so prolific that he also churns out at least a dozen murder mysteries a year—sometimes mixing genres. His oeuvre includes An Analog Murder, Secret of the Desert Lighthouse, The Tomb on Haunted Hill, 1-800-YOU-KILL, Dial X for Xterminate, and The Gearbox Killing.

Renee Feinstein is famed for her sinister mysteries framed as adult-length children’s books, complete with disturbing illustrations. Her most notable works are The Day the Bunnies Died, Hop-Skip-Jump Off the Cliff, D is for Defenestrate, Your Mommy Can’t Help You Now, Who Killed Jack and Jill?, Saskatchewan is Full of Murderers, and The Sharpening.

Charleston Rook writes splatterpunk mysteries renowned for their high body count and gratuitous gore. His books include Witness a Man’s Arm Turned Around, SCREWdriver!, The Slaughterhouse Massacre, GENEocide!, The Funhouse Atrocities, Pierced by a Pitchfork, The Eyeball Bursters, Shriek of the Maniac, Dawn of the Incels, and Dentist of the Damned.

CC Alder (AKA Cheryl Cameron) writes genteel countryside mysteries that seem almost civilized on the surface but reveal the grim subtext of her supposedly idyllic settings. Her works include The Grub in the Peach, Silent Sunflowers, I of the Needle, Oh What a Lovely Affair!, Twilight Picnic, Gone with the Tide, A Feast for the Love We Left Behind, Despair in Georgia, and The Bride Wore Black.

I feel like The Bride Wore Black is so obvious it must have already been used, but I think it fits anyway. 

Film Review: Monte Walsh

I turned 50 this year, it's been a few months since the death of my father, and the news of the world - our relentless march toward a jobless society at the same time collapsing in on itself due to corruption, greed, climate change, fear and ignorance - weighs down on me more with each passing day.

So perhaps tonight was the perfect time to watch Monte Walsh (William A. Fraker, 1970), a movie obsessed with literal death, spiritual death, and the death of a way of life - the world moving on and leaving so many behind.

Monte Walsh, magnificently portrayed by Lee Marvin, is navigating his twilight years, reluctantly learning that the West as he knew it is dying, along with a livelihood he loved. He tries to adjust, but circumstances rob him of any hope of happiness; his world collapses around him, and he rides off to an uncertain fate.

I feel like I'm just a few years away from sharing Monte's fate. Right now, I'm very lucky; I've enjoyed a comfortable life and a rewarding career for some 25 years now, and theoretically I have another 15 years to go before retiring comfortably. My colleagues are brilliant, my manager superb, and I work in a thriving industry.

But 15 years is such a long time. Already, software is automating aspects of my white collar job; it's primitive now, but how long before advances in this kind of technology make communications professionals like me superfluous? Five years? Ten? Can I possibly make it the full 15 to retirement? Or will societal collapse make the point moot?

Marvin, as Monte, never gives up. He keeps his dignity. He remains a sad but inspirational figure by the time the credits roll.

But his world has moved on, nonetheless. 

Superman and Krypton

I finally brought Jeff Shyluk's amazing bespoke globe of Krypton to work, setting it up in my cubicle alongside a small Superman statue. The globe looks great, and has already drawn some attention from my colleagues. However, I foolishly shot against the light. When we start getting some sunlight, I'll reposition and shoot from the other direction for a better shot. 

Jeff never fails to create beautiful art, and he takes commissions. Visit Jeff Shyluk's Visual Blog today! 

Here's another look at Krypton and the other bespoke world Jeff crafted, Mongo, now in my brother Sean's possession. Flash! Ahh-aahhh! 

Happy Chinese New Year

I must say, these guys were very impressive, especially when they reared back to tower over the crowd. Unfortunately I didn't capture a photo of that. 

Trapezoids I

A Disturbing Image