Showing posts with label Jim Hole. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Jim Hole. Show all posts
Monday, August 08, 2016
iMac Flashbac
Tuesday, February 19, 2013
The First Decade
Ten years ago, my career as a professional writer was well underway. I'd written or contributed to a number of bestselling gardening books, I was selling short articles under my own name to a couple of different magazines, and I was the Lieutenant Governor of Alberta's official speechwriter. Things were looking good.
And yet something was missing. Why else would I have felt the urge to start blogging, or to name this digital journal The Bleak House of Blahgs to reference a place (the so-called "Bleak House of Blahs) I lived only briefly - and that ten years prior to the blog's first post?
There were two reasons. I was lonely, and sharing my thoughts with the world was a way to feel a little less alone. And just as importantly, I needed a place to experiment. While writing for Lois and Jim Hole (and later a series of Alberta Liberal MLAs) was satisfying and challenging enough, the blog gave me a place to be as analytical or shallow or serious or goofy as I wanted to be.
Most of my early writing at The Bleak House of Blahgs centres on the mundane; should anyone struggle with insomnia, read a few of these early posts to learn what DVDs I was watching at the time, or whose birthday party I was attending, or what I was doing at work. Coming up with original content is a challenge for any writer, so I often filled the gaps with old material I'd composed years before, a sin I resort to less often these days. There are a few cryptic references to Sylvia peppered into these early posts here and there; I'd met her in late 2002, not long before starting this blog, but we didn't start a relationship until spring 2003.
Sylvia's presence, of course, informs virtually everything I've written since. While I'd had relationships prior to meeting Sylvia, they were short-lived and "unofficial," if that's the right word for it. Sylvia was my first real girlfriend, and that represented a sea change in my outlook. Suddenly I was responsible for someone, someone who in turn felt responsible for me in ways that parents and siblings cannot be; it was an entirely different kind of relationship, one I was discovering for the first time. It felt strange to be loved romantically, but it cleared my mind and freed me from many of the stresses that were preventing me from exploring the limits of whatever talent I might possess. Sylvia gave me the freedom and confidence to move forward on a number of fronts - personally, professionally. She made me a better writer and a better person, and that's given me the courage to publicly explore the questions that have always vexed me most:
Who am I, and why am I here?
What does the future hold for humanity?
Why do people suffer?
Are we alone in the universe?
What's the true nature of reality?
What does it all mean?
It's always bothered me that so many of my posts seem to focus on me, me, me - what's happened to me, what did I do today, etc. And yet this is the lens through which each of us experiences life, so unless I construct some kind of artifice I'm forced to write about myself, at least tangentially, to struggle with these questions. Better writers do this successfully all the time, of course, but I work with what I have, and blogging, for now, is the best way I know how to explore the subjects I care about.
Several years ago I changed the name of this blog from The Bleak House of Blahgs to My Name is Earl (J. Woods), a change made half out of boredom, half to capitalize on a sitcom I had enjoyed at the time. Today this blog endures its third and final name change, one that's not only shorter and snappier, but also contains a classical allusion, a bad pun and a more succinct characterization of the blog's nature: The Earliad. While I have no illusions that I'll join the ranks of Homer or Virgil, I've long thought that if I ever became famous The Earliad would be the perfect name for my autobiography. While I foresee no fame in my future, I still like the title, so I'm going to put it to use.
The desire to write often comes with some hubris, particularly if the writer hopes people will read his material. How large does one's ego have to be to broadcast his thoughts to the universe?
Pretty large, I guess, and sometimes - perhaps much of the time - without much justification. But in my defence, I write because, well, I find life interesting, and that includes my life - and yours. I write because I hope that my readers will discover something that touches on your own experience, that makes you think about the world in a different way. I live for the comments people occasionally leave here, many of them far more insightful and interesting than my original posts.
I think most people want to share their experiences, because through those experiences we learn to know one another. We learn how to deal with the universe's challenges together, and maybe we even learn how to begin answering some of those big questions. And along the way, if we're lucky, we have a lot of fun together.
I've certainly had a lot of fun writing this blog for the last ten years. So much has happened since that first post: Sylvia and I were married, I ran for office against Alberta's Premier, drove the Alaska Highway, made new friends, stood on the shore of North America's east coast for the first time, flew in a helicopter, dove in a submarine, had a post featured on Reddit, served as an online tutor at MacEwan University, bought two condos, met James Cameron and returned to northern Manitoba...twice.
It's been a heck of a decade. Along with the moments already mentioned above, here are a few more of my favourite posts:
Fitzpatrick's War
The End of My Double Life
The Killer Inside
Behold...The Barf Thing!
The Only Logical Choice
The Ketchup Katastrophe
The Walls Have Ears, the Doors Have Eyes
No Job Too Small...for Superman!
Earl Jumps on a VCR
Wisteria Hysteria
The Speculative Fiction Canon
Star Trek Season Four Episode Guide
The Answering Machine Message
The Art of Friendship
Farewell to the Legislature
You Seem Wise, for a Woman
It's interesting that this anniversary should fall at this moment in my life, a time of transition. I left politics behind, but discovered that I really enjoy teaching and reinvigorated my freelance career. While I would still prefer a return to full-time work, being home has given me more time to work on my novel and short stories, to spend more time with Sylvia, to learn how to fix little things around the house, to finish the library and theatre room. I feel like my life has some balance at last, and I can't wait to see what happens next. I hope you'll join me.
 |
| Earl and his notepad at the Bleak House of Blahs |
There were two reasons. I was lonely, and sharing my thoughts with the world was a way to feel a little less alone. And just as importantly, I needed a place to experiment. While writing for Lois and Jim Hole (and later a series of Alberta Liberal MLAs) was satisfying and challenging enough, the blog gave me a place to be as analytical or shallow or serious or goofy as I wanted to be.
Most of my early writing at The Bleak House of Blahgs centres on the mundane; should anyone struggle with insomnia, read a few of these early posts to learn what DVDs I was watching at the time, or whose birthday party I was attending, or what I was doing at work. Coming up with original content is a challenge for any writer, so I often filled the gaps with old material I'd composed years before, a sin I resort to less often these days. There are a few cryptic references to Sylvia peppered into these early posts here and there; I'd met her in late 2002, not long before starting this blog, but we didn't start a relationship until spring 2003.
Who am I, and why am I here?
What does the future hold for humanity?
Why do people suffer?
Are we alone in the universe?
What's the true nature of reality?
What does it all mean?
It's always bothered me that so many of my posts seem to focus on me, me, me - what's happened to me, what did I do today, etc. And yet this is the lens through which each of us experiences life, so unless I construct some kind of artifice I'm forced to write about myself, at least tangentially, to struggle with these questions. Better writers do this successfully all the time, of course, but I work with what I have, and blogging, for now, is the best way I know how to explore the subjects I care about.
Several years ago I changed the name of this blog from The Bleak House of Blahgs to My Name is Earl (J. Woods), a change made half out of boredom, half to capitalize on a sitcom I had enjoyed at the time. Today this blog endures its third and final name change, one that's not only shorter and snappier, but also contains a classical allusion, a bad pun and a more succinct characterization of the blog's nature: The Earliad. While I have no illusions that I'll join the ranks of Homer or Virgil, I've long thought that if I ever became famous The Earliad would be the perfect name for my autobiography. While I foresee no fame in my future, I still like the title, so I'm going to put it to use.
The desire to write often comes with some hubris, particularly if the writer hopes people will read his material. How large does one's ego have to be to broadcast his thoughts to the universe?
Pretty large, I guess, and sometimes - perhaps much of the time - without much justification. But in my defence, I write because, well, I find life interesting, and that includes my life - and yours. I write because I hope that my readers will discover something that touches on your own experience, that makes you think about the world in a different way. I live for the comments people occasionally leave here, many of them far more insightful and interesting than my original posts.
I think most people want to share their experiences, because through those experiences we learn to know one another. We learn how to deal with the universe's challenges together, and maybe we even learn how to begin answering some of those big questions. And along the way, if we're lucky, we have a lot of fun together.
I've certainly had a lot of fun writing this blog for the last ten years. So much has happened since that first post: Sylvia and I were married, I ran for office against Alberta's Premier, drove the Alaska Highway, made new friends, stood on the shore of North America's east coast for the first time, flew in a helicopter, dove in a submarine, had a post featured on Reddit, served as an online tutor at MacEwan University, bought two condos, met James Cameron and returned to northern Manitoba...twice.
It's been a heck of a decade. Along with the moments already mentioned above, here are a few more of my favourite posts:
Fitzpatrick's War
The End of My Double Life
The Killer Inside
Behold...The Barf Thing!
The Only Logical Choice
The Ketchup Katastrophe
The Walls Have Ears, the Doors Have Eyes
No Job Too Small...for Superman!
Earl Jumps on a VCR
Wisteria Hysteria
The Speculative Fiction Canon
Star Trek Season Four Episode Guide
The Answering Machine Message
The Art of Friendship
Farewell to the Legislature
You Seem Wise, for a Woman
It's interesting that this anniversary should fall at this moment in my life, a time of transition. I left politics behind, but discovered that I really enjoy teaching and reinvigorated my freelance career. While I would still prefer a return to full-time work, being home has given me more time to work on my novel and short stories, to spend more time with Sylvia, to learn how to fix little things around the house, to finish the library and theatre room. I feel like my life has some balance at last, and I can't wait to see what happens next. I hope you'll join me.
Saturday, July 30, 2011
Panorama Mania
Tuesday, January 11, 2011
Thanks, Neil
Thanks for a great couple of years, Neil. It's been a privilege.
Monday, January 03, 2011
Earl's Amazing Mad Science Adventures #8
Tuesday, May 20, 2008
I'm a Professional Photographer, Apparently
This enigmatic photo appeared in an Ottawa Citizen story here.
The photo is credited to yours truly. I do have vague memories of taking the shot; I'm pretty sure it's Jim Hole's hand. We were writing an article on the proper pruning cut. How the shot wound up in the Citizen, WITH credit, is a mystery to me.
Wednesday, October 31, 2007
My Big Fat Geek Wedding: The Ceremony
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Artwork by Jeff Shyluk
On August 11, Sylvia and I were married. After many months of planning, a lot of stress and a broken leg, everything came together perfectly, thanks to the help and generosity of our family and friends. We had a really terrific day, and at the end of it all we really were completely overwhelmed by the warmth, humanity and decency of the many people who have touched our lives. It really was a memorable day for us, and we're so grateful that our dearest friends were either able to attend or sent us their best wishes from afar.
A few highlights...
On August 11, Sylvia and I were married. After many months of planning, a lot of stress and a broken leg, everything came together perfectly, thanks to the help and generosity of our family and friends. We had a really terrific day, and at the end of it all we really were completely overwhelmed by the warmth, humanity and decency of the many people who have touched our lives. It really was a memorable day for us, and we're so grateful that our dearest friends were either able to attend or sent us their best wishes from afar.
A few highlights...
The bride arrives in style, pulling up in a stretch limo.
Our officiant, Kevin Taft, briefs the crowd before the appearance of the bride and groom. Here's how the wedding program was scripted. There were just a couple of ad libs...
12:55: Introduction of marriage commissioner and announcements
KEVIN: Good afternoon, and thank you all so much for coming. My name is Kevin Taft, and I’m very pleased to serve as Earl and Sylvia’s marriage commissioner today. Before the bride and groom arrive, I have a couple of quick announcements.First, feel free to take photographs as the bride and groom make their way onto the stage, and as they exit. During the ceremony itself, however, we would ask that you refrain from flash photography. Yolande, the official photographer, will be taking photos during that time.
After the ceremony is complete, Earl and Sylvia will be available to greet guests in the receiving line in the main lobby. The staff here at Woodvale need to start rearranging the room for tonight’s reception, so I would ask everyone to quickly move out into the lobby as soon as the bride and groom have left the room.Everyone is welcome to use the clubhouse on the second floor. Cocktails start here at 5:30; dinner is at 6, and the dance follows at 9.
All right, with all that out of the way, let’s begin.
1:00 Procession of Groom’s Party, Entrance of Bridal Party
[Kevin signals usher Mike Totman, who will be standing by the ghetto blaster, that it’s okay to start the entrance music for the groomsmen and bridesmaids. Music (“Hymn”) plays, groom and bride’s parties take the stage. Follow with groom’s and groom’s parents entrance (“Ilia’s Theme”), then bride’s and bride’s parents entrance (“Con Te Partito”). Pause for a moment for photographs, then move to…]
Jim Hole leads a standing ovation for Sylvia, who walked down the aisle in spite of a badly broken, still-healing leg.
1:15-1:20 VOWS
KEVIN: For many years, all Members of the Legislative Assembly have had one happy privilege: that of uniting two people in the bonds of matrimony. And so, we are gathered here today with you, Sylvia Frances Boucher, and you, Earl James Woods, in the sight of your family and friends, in accordance with our laws and many beliefs, that you may pledge, before these witnesses, your love for one another and your commitment to sharing a life together.
Sylvia, Earl, the people gathered here today have come before us to witness the formal and public declaration of your marriage. Will you now, before these people, stand and declare, in your own words, your intention to love and cherish one another, from this moment forward?
EARL and SYLVIA: We will.
KEVIN: Then please proceed with your wedding vows.
[Earl and Sylvia stand; Sylvia hands Norma her flowers; Earl and Sylvia speak their vows to each other while holding hands.]
EARL: Sylvia, you have opened up new worlds for me. You are my greatest treasure, my best friend, my most trusted companion. I promise to love you completely, to make your happiness my first and most joyful duty, to protect you from harm, and to share the adventure of life with you, from this moment forward.
SYLVIA: Earl, you have brought peace into my life, peace I’ve never experienced before. You are my constant, my best friend, my greatest joy. Your happiness is my happiness, and my vow to you is to love and take care of you always, and to support you through whatever life brings. I love you. You are my Superman.
KEVIN: Earl and Sylvia have chosen a short selection of quotes and poems to summarize, in a few words, their feelings for each other. First, I would ask Sylvia’s Aunt and godmother, Frances Joly, to take the stage for the first reading.
FRANCES: On Soulmates - This reading is from The Bridge Across Forever, by Richard Bach, best known as the author of Jonathan Livingston Seagull.
A soulmate is someone who has locks that fit our keys, and keys to fit our locks. When we feel safe enough to open the locks, our truest selves step out and we can be completely and honestly who we are; we can be loved for who we are and not for who we're pretending to be. Each unveils the best part of the other. No matter what else goes wrong around us, with that one person we're safe in our own paradise. Our soulmate is someone who shares our deepest longings, our sense of direction. When we're two balloons, and together our direction is up, chances are we've found the right person. Our soulmate is the one who makes life come to life.
The second reading is from the I Ching, the Chinese Book of Changes, an ancient text that explores the inevitability of change; in this case, a positive one.
When two people are at one in their inmost hearts, they shatter even the strength of iron or of bronze. And when two people understand each other in their inmost hearts, their words are sweet and strong, like the fragrance of orchids.
KEVIN: Thank you, Frances. Now I would ask Earl’s friend Peter Harris to step forward and deliver the second reading.
PETER: My first reading is "She Walks in Beauty," by the British Romantic poet, Lord Byron. With apologies to the original author, Earl has made one slight amendment to this famous poem, changing a single word to better match his bride.
She walks in beauty, like the night
Of cloudless climes and starry skies;
And all that's best of dark and bright
Meet in her aspect and her eyes:
Thus mellow'd to that tender light
Which heaven to gaudy day denies.
One shade the more, one ray the less,
Had half impair'd the nameless grace
Which waves in every golden tress,
Or softly lightens o'er her face;
Where thoughts serenely sweet express
How pure, how dear their dwelling place.
And on that cheek, and o'er that brow,
So soft, so calm, yet eloquent,
The smiles that win, the tints that glow,
But tell of days in goodness spent,
A mind at peace with all below,
A heart whose love is innocent!
The second reading is "To Celia," a romance poem of transcendent love rendered in English by Ben Jonson from a love letter by Philostratus of ancient Athens.
Drink to me only with thine eyes,
And I will pledge with mine;
Or leave a kiss within the cup,
And I'll not ask for wine
The thirst that from the soul doth rise,
Doth crave a drink divine;
But might I of Jove's nectar sup,
I would not change for thine
I sent thee late a rosy wreath,
Not so much honoring thee
As giving it a hope that there
It could not withered be;
But thou thereon didst only breathe
And sent'st back to me,
Since when it grows and smells, I swear,
Not of itself, but thee.
KEVIN: Thank you, Peter. Now, will the Best Man please step forward to present the rings?
[Jeff, the best man, moves into position and hands over Sylvia’s ring to Earl. He remains in place.]
KEVIN: Earl, please repeat after me:
Sylvia, accept this ring/as the physical manifestation/of my never-ending love for you.
[Earl gives Sylvia her ring.]
[Jeff hands over Earl’s ring to Sylvia. Jeff moves back into his normal position.]
KEVIN: Now Sylvia, please repeat after me:
Earl, take this ring/as a sign and symbol/of my undying love for you.
[Sylvia gives Earl his ring.]
KEVIN: Now will both of you please repeat after me:Let these rings symbolize/our infinite love/and commitment to one another.
KEVIN: And now, to satisfy the legal requirements of this civil marriage ceremony, I would ask the groom to repeat after me:
I do solemnly declare/that I do not know of any lawful impediment/ why I, Earl J. Woods,/may not be joined in matrimony to Sylvia F. Boucher.
I call upon those persons present/to witness that I, Earl J. Woods,/do take thee, Sylvia Frances Boucher,/to be my lawful wedded wife.
KEVIN: And now, the bride. Sylvia, please repeat after me:
I do solemnly declare/that I do not know of any lawful impediment/why I, Sylvia Frances Boucher,/ may not be joined in matrimony to Earl J. Woods.
I call upon those persons present/to witness that I, Sylvia Frances Boucher,/do take thee, Earl J. Woods,/to be my lawful wedded husband.
KEVIN: Thank you. With these requirements satisfied, and with these two people expressing openly and honestly their love for one another in the sight of their friends and family, there is one more important task to accomplish. Would the Best Man and Maid of Honour please join the bride and groom to witness the signing of the marriage certificate?
[Mike starts signing music. Earl carries Sylvia to signing table. At the same time, Norma carries flowers to signing table and places them there for décor. Norma and Jeff witness as Earl and Sylvia sign the certificate; when finished, they resume their original positions in front of the columns.]
KEVIN: I am pleased to declare you husband and wife. You may share a kiss.
KEVIN: Ladies and gentlemen, please join with me in celebrating the union of Earl J. Woods and Sylvia Frances Boucher Woods!
[Earl carries Sylvia to lobby for receiving line; rest of wedding party follows.]
Our officiant, Kevin Taft, briefs the crowd before the appearance of the bride and groom. Here's how the wedding program was scripted. There were just a couple of ad libs...
12:55: Introduction of marriage commissioner and announcements
KEVIN: Good afternoon, and thank you all so much for coming. My name is Kevin Taft, and I’m very pleased to serve as Earl and Sylvia’s marriage commissioner today. Before the bride and groom arrive, I have a couple of quick announcements.First, feel free to take photographs as the bride and groom make their way onto the stage, and as they exit. During the ceremony itself, however, we would ask that you refrain from flash photography. Yolande, the official photographer, will be taking photos during that time.
After the ceremony is complete, Earl and Sylvia will be available to greet guests in the receiving line in the main lobby. The staff here at Woodvale need to start rearranging the room for tonight’s reception, so I would ask everyone to quickly move out into the lobby as soon as the bride and groom have left the room.Everyone is welcome to use the clubhouse on the second floor. Cocktails start here at 5:30; dinner is at 6, and the dance follows at 9.
All right, with all that out of the way, let’s begin.
1:00 Procession of Groom’s Party, Entrance of Bridal Party
[Kevin signals usher Mike Totman, who will be standing by the ghetto blaster, that it’s okay to start the entrance music for the groomsmen and bridesmaids. Music (“Hymn”) plays, groom and bride’s parties take the stage. Follow with groom’s and groom’s parents entrance (“Ilia’s Theme”), then bride’s and bride’s parents entrance (“Con Te Partito”). Pause for a moment for photographs, then move to…]
Jim Hole leads a standing ovation for Sylvia, who walked down the aisle in spite of a badly broken, still-healing leg.
1:15-1:20 VOWS
KEVIN: For many years, all Members of the Legislative Assembly have had one happy privilege: that of uniting two people in the bonds of matrimony. And so, we are gathered here today with you, Sylvia Frances Boucher, and you, Earl James Woods, in the sight of your family and friends, in accordance with our laws and many beliefs, that you may pledge, before these witnesses, your love for one another and your commitment to sharing a life together.
Sylvia, Earl, the people gathered here today have come before us to witness the formal and public declaration of your marriage. Will you now, before these people, stand and declare, in your own words, your intention to love and cherish one another, from this moment forward?
EARL and SYLVIA: We will.
KEVIN: Then please proceed with your wedding vows.
[Earl and Sylvia stand; Sylvia hands Norma her flowers; Earl and Sylvia speak their vows to each other while holding hands.]
EARL: Sylvia, you have opened up new worlds for me. You are my greatest treasure, my best friend, my most trusted companion. I promise to love you completely, to make your happiness my first and most joyful duty, to protect you from harm, and to share the adventure of life with you, from this moment forward.
SYLVIA: Earl, you have brought peace into my life, peace I’ve never experienced before. You are my constant, my best friend, my greatest joy. Your happiness is my happiness, and my vow to you is to love and take care of you always, and to support you through whatever life brings. I love you. You are my Superman.
KEVIN: Earl and Sylvia have chosen a short selection of quotes and poems to summarize, in a few words, their feelings for each other. First, I would ask Sylvia’s Aunt and godmother, Frances Joly, to take the stage for the first reading.
FRANCES: On Soulmates - This reading is from The Bridge Across Forever, by Richard Bach, best known as the author of Jonathan Livingston Seagull.
A soulmate is someone who has locks that fit our keys, and keys to fit our locks. When we feel safe enough to open the locks, our truest selves step out and we can be completely and honestly who we are; we can be loved for who we are and not for who we're pretending to be. Each unveils the best part of the other. No matter what else goes wrong around us, with that one person we're safe in our own paradise. Our soulmate is someone who shares our deepest longings, our sense of direction. When we're two balloons, and together our direction is up, chances are we've found the right person. Our soulmate is the one who makes life come to life.
The second reading is from the I Ching, the Chinese Book of Changes, an ancient text that explores the inevitability of change; in this case, a positive one.
When two people are at one in their inmost hearts, they shatter even the strength of iron or of bronze. And when two people understand each other in their inmost hearts, their words are sweet and strong, like the fragrance of orchids.
KEVIN: Thank you, Frances. Now I would ask Earl’s friend Peter Harris to step forward and deliver the second reading.
PETER: My first reading is "She Walks in Beauty," by the British Romantic poet, Lord Byron. With apologies to the original author, Earl has made one slight amendment to this famous poem, changing a single word to better match his bride.
She walks in beauty, like the night
Of cloudless climes and starry skies;
And all that's best of dark and bright
Meet in her aspect and her eyes:
Thus mellow'd to that tender light
Which heaven to gaudy day denies.
One shade the more, one ray the less,
Had half impair'd the nameless grace
Which waves in every golden tress,
Or softly lightens o'er her face;
Where thoughts serenely sweet express
How pure, how dear their dwelling place.
And on that cheek, and o'er that brow,
So soft, so calm, yet eloquent,
The smiles that win, the tints that glow,
But tell of days in goodness spent,
A mind at peace with all below,
A heart whose love is innocent!
The second reading is "To Celia," a romance poem of transcendent love rendered in English by Ben Jonson from a love letter by Philostratus of ancient Athens.
Drink to me only with thine eyes,
And I will pledge with mine;
Or leave a kiss within the cup,
And I'll not ask for wine
The thirst that from the soul doth rise,
Doth crave a drink divine;
But might I of Jove's nectar sup,
I would not change for thine
I sent thee late a rosy wreath,
Not so much honoring thee
As giving it a hope that there
It could not withered be;
But thou thereon didst only breathe
And sent'st back to me,
Since when it grows and smells, I swear,
Not of itself, but thee.
KEVIN: Thank you, Peter. Now, will the Best Man please step forward to present the rings?
[Jeff, the best man, moves into position and hands over Sylvia’s ring to Earl. He remains in place.]
KEVIN: Earl, please repeat after me:
Sylvia, accept this ring/as the physical manifestation/of my never-ending love for you.
[Earl gives Sylvia her ring.]
[Jeff hands over Earl’s ring to Sylvia. Jeff moves back into his normal position.]
KEVIN: Now Sylvia, please repeat after me:
Earl, take this ring/as a sign and symbol/of my undying love for you.
[Sylvia gives Earl his ring.]
KEVIN: Now will both of you please repeat after me:Let these rings symbolize/our infinite love/and commitment to one another.
KEVIN: And now, to satisfy the legal requirements of this civil marriage ceremony, I would ask the groom to repeat after me:
I do solemnly declare/that I do not know of any lawful impediment/ why I, Earl J. Woods,/may not be joined in matrimony to Sylvia F. Boucher.
I call upon those persons present/to witness that I, Earl J. Woods,/do take thee, Sylvia Frances Boucher,/to be my lawful wedded wife.
KEVIN: And now, the bride. Sylvia, please repeat after me:
I do solemnly declare/that I do not know of any lawful impediment/why I, Sylvia Frances Boucher,/ may not be joined in matrimony to Earl J. Woods.
I call upon those persons present/to witness that I, Sylvia Frances Boucher,/do take thee, Earl J. Woods,/to be my lawful wedded husband.
KEVIN: Thank you. With these requirements satisfied, and with these two people expressing openly and honestly their love for one another in the sight of their friends and family, there is one more important task to accomplish. Would the Best Man and Maid of Honour please join the bride and groom to witness the signing of the marriage certificate?
[Mike starts signing music. Earl carries Sylvia to signing table. At the same time, Norma carries flowers to signing table and places them there for décor. Norma and Jeff witness as Earl and Sylvia sign the certificate; when finished, they resume their original positions in front of the columns.]
KEVIN: I am pleased to declare you husband and wife. You may share a kiss.
KEVIN: Ladies and gentlemen, please join with me in celebrating the union of Earl J. Woods and Sylvia Frances Boucher Woods!
[Earl carries Sylvia to lobby for receiving line; rest of wedding party follows.]
Next: The Reception...
Friday, October 21, 2005
Lastday at Hole's
March, 1998: Earl begins his work at Hole'sAh, Lastday! When citizens ascend to the heavens in Carousel to be Renewed!
That's my hope, at any rate. Today was my last day at Hole's, the end of a seven-and-a-half year gardening odyssey. During that time I've cowritten hundreds of articles, contributed to over a dozen books, helped produce a handful of short television episodes, and written over a thousand speeches. That's a fair chunk of verbiage, and I'm very grateful to Bruce, Bill, Jim, Valerie, Dave, Ted and Lois for taking a chance on a very green writer. I had a lot of fun, learned about the art and the craft of writing, and helped make a real difference in the lives of my fellow Canadians. Not many jobs can offer that.
I was particularly moved by the generosity of my coworkers, who presented me with a very nice card overflowing with warm thoughts and a hefty gift certificate for Chapters.
But most of all, I have to thank my boss and friend Bruce, who not only gave me an absolutely gorgeous collected Calvin & Hobbes with a personalized bookplate, but with a few simple words helped me understand that my changing relationship with Hole's isn't a calamity, but a brand new beginning, full of opportunity. Bruce took a big risk in hiring me back in 1998, and I'll always be very grateful.
Thanks Bruce! Serial commas rule!
October 21, 2005: Earl's last day at Hole's
Tuesday, August 23, 2005
Syllabus Shocker
Today at work I Googled my co-author Jim Hole's name to see if there were any new reviews of his latest book, What Grows Here? Volume Two. I found a couple, but way more interesting was the link found at Oakland University in Rochester, Michigan. The syllabus for their Master of Liberal Arts programs includes a quote from a piece Jim and I wrote for last year's issue of Spring Gardening. Here's the relevant excerpt from the syllabus:
LBS 511: Topics in Literature and Language: The Writer in the Garden
Special Instructor Linda McCloskey, Dept. of English mccloske@oakland.edu
MW 6:30 - 9:50 p.m.
In his essay, "The Art of Interpretation," Jim Hole states, "Even the most modest garden is a work of art in its own right, if you've imbued it with your own personal vision." In this course, we will explore the garden in literature as both literal and symbolic, including each writer's personal vision and expression of his or her relationship with nature, from the Biblical Garden of Eden through the secret garden of children's fiction to the contemporary garden essay. Emphasis will be placed on the connection between personal reflection and universal meaning. Students may investigate interdisciplinary depictions of the garden in painting, sculpture, film and history as well. A visit to the gardens at Cranbrook is planned as part of the course. Students will learn to hone their literary/personal essay writing skills, and garden essays will be gathered to produce a collection at the semester's end. Course requirements also include regular attendance and active participation in class discussions. Required texts:
Frances Hodgson Burnett, The Secret Garden. (The Modern Library Classics
edition)
Roger Evans, The Writer in the Garden.
Jane Garmey, editor, The Writer in the Garden.
Jamaica Kincaid, My Garden (Book)
Bonnie Marranca, American Garden Writing: An Anthology.
Michael Pollan, Second Nature: A Gardener's Education.
Charles Dudley Warner, My Summer in a Garden.
I'm so psyched. I know it's silly, but I really feel like this helps validate the work I've been doing for Hole's. Sure, it's likely that the instructor was just searching for something reasonably quotable for the syllabus description, but it's still darn cool that she picked something I wrote. Woo woo!
LBS 511: Topics in Literature and Language: The Writer in the Garden
Special Instructor Linda McCloskey, Dept. of English mccloske@oakland.edu
MW 6:30 - 9:50 p.m.
In his essay, "The Art of Interpretation," Jim Hole states, "Even the most modest garden is a work of art in its own right, if you've imbued it with your own personal vision." In this course, we will explore the garden in literature as both literal and symbolic, including each writer's personal vision and expression of his or her relationship with nature, from the Biblical Garden of Eden through the secret garden of children's fiction to the contemporary garden essay. Emphasis will be placed on the connection between personal reflection and universal meaning. Students may investigate interdisciplinary depictions of the garden in painting, sculpture, film and history as well. A visit to the gardens at Cranbrook is planned as part of the course. Students will learn to hone their literary/personal essay writing skills, and garden essays will be gathered to produce a collection at the semester's end. Course requirements also include regular attendance and active participation in class discussions. Required texts:
Frances Hodgson Burnett, The Secret Garden. (The Modern Library Classics
edition)
Roger Evans, The Writer in the Garden.
Jane Garmey, editor, The Writer in the Garden.
Jamaica Kincaid, My Garden (Book)
Bonnie Marranca, American Garden Writing: An Anthology.
Michael Pollan, Second Nature: A Gardener's Education.
Charles Dudley Warner, My Summer in a Garden.
I'm so psyched. I know it's silly, but I really feel like this helps validate the work I've been doing for Hole's. Sure, it's likely that the instructor was just searching for something reasonably quotable for the syllabus description, but it's still darn cool that she picked something I wrote. Woo woo!
Thursday, June 30, 2005
Home for the Holidays
I'm taking three weeks off from Hole's, and none too soon. I haven't been this exhausted in a long time. I plan to veg out for about a week, then see if I can't get a little creative writing done - something good enough to publish professionally.
We shot four more episodes of Enjoy Gardening with Jim Hole yesterday. It was a nice change of pace and a different kind of challenge, not so much a creative one as organizational. If all goes well, the first completed episodes should air on Shaw on Monday.
P.S. - I just added a photo using Blogger's new "Add Image" button, which allows you to use post images directly from your hard drive. My mom won an award for this particular picture, and it has a "vacation-y" feel, so I thought I'd test this new Blogger feature here.
We shot four more episodes of Enjoy Gardening with Jim Hole yesterday. It was a nice change of pace and a different kind of challenge, not so much a creative one as organizational. If all goes well, the first completed episodes should air on Shaw on Monday.
P.S. - I just added a photo using Blogger's new "Add Image" button, which allows you to use post images directly from your hard drive. My mom won an award for this particular picture, and it has a "vacation-y" feel, so I thought I'd test this new Blogger feature here.
Thursday, May 19, 2005
Earl & Sylvia at the BPAA Awards
Better Luck Next Year
Jim Hole's book What Grows Here, Volume One: Locations was nominated for trade non-fiction book of the year by the Book Publishers Association of Alberta. Everyone in the publishing department attended the awards ceremony last Saturday at the Fairmont Hotel Macdonald, but Linda Goyette's Edmonton: In Our Own Words walked away with the trophy. Still, everyone had fun, and wow, our table definitely had the best-looking women. I don't mean that in a sexist way; I just looked around the table at one point and thought to myself, "Huh. What a good-looking bunch."
During the course of the evening, I found out that Sylvia was once into wall-climbing, and appeared on Access climbing the walls. Now she does it at home without the benefit of a television audience.
Monday, August 09, 2004
Tuesday, August 03, 2004
#7, No Bullet
I found out today that our latest book, Jim Hole's What Grows Here? Volume One: Locations, has just hit #7 on the Edmonton Journal's non-fiction bestseller list. Woo woo!
Jim's first solo title.
Thursday, May 27, 2004
Introducing...The Earliad: The Bleak House of Blahgs Photo Annex
Hi, everyone - I'm experimenting a little with another webpage, using the long-neglected webspace that comes with my Shaw account. If all goes according to plan, right now there should be a couple of photos of me cavorting around Commonwealth Stadium; Jim and I were down there this morning for an Epcor/Hole's Wise Watering media event. See the photos here.
Thursday, March 04, 2004
The End is the Beginning
Jim Hole once asked me if I ever skipped to the last page of a book to read the ending.
"I might as well read the whole thing backwards," I said, "you'd spoil the whole book, knowing the ending right at the start."
"Maybe," he said, "But the beginning would sure be a surprise!"
I thought about that conversation tonight as I was doing laundry and watching Buffy the Vampire Slayer. I came to Buffylate; I started watching it in season five, kept watching through the series' end, while at the same time catching up on the old episodes by watching the earlier seasons on DVD. Tonight, having just finished the final episode of season four, I realized that I have come back to the beginning of my Buffy experience - smack dab in the middle of the series.
Watching the first four seasons while knowing the ultimate fate of the characters adds a certain resonance to the proceedings; every line, every action, every revelation is coloured by my prescient knowledge of what's to come. This is especially rewarding with a show like Buffy, where story arcs were planned so far in advance. Emotions are more poignant, and the story's texture becomes deeper, more rich.
I guess this is why I keep my books and comics; the stories are always new, even if I've read them many times before. Reading A Princess of Mars at twelve is very different than reading it at thirty; you could even argue that the book was read by two entirely different people, two individuals merely perceived as a single entity because we share a few common memories and some physical characteristics. Whether Earl at twelve and Earl at thirty were the same person or not, the experience of absorbing that book was different each time, and each experience had its own rewards. We start out younger than major characters, seeing men and women in their twenties as impossibly wise and ancient; and then we suddenly discover, years later, that we have become a year or two older than those same characters. Our heroes and villains become our contemporaries, even our peers.
Stephen Hawking once theorized that at the end of the universe, time would start running backwards, and it would seem quite normal for us to assemble from ashes, grow younger and more vital, then smaller, smaller, more and more helpless, until at last we retreat into the womb and shrink to nonexistence, finally dividing into sperm and egg. If time really does work this way, if our experience of life is an illusion forced upon us by our physical limitations, then maybe reading books or watching television shows out of sequence isn't such a crazy idea. Perhaps we'll get to see it in the "right" order, eventually...even if we have to wait a few billion years.
I guess when you read a book for the first time, the book informs your life and alters your perception of the world. But when you read it again, your experiences suddenly alter your perception of the book, and the expected suddenly defies all expectations. We see what was once invisible, and perhaps lose sight of what once was clear. The same must be true when we examine any work of art.
I have a pretty large collection of books and movies, and sometimes people ask me if I've read them all, and why I don't just sell them off after I've seen them once. I think I have my answer now. My books, my comics, my movies - they are a part of me. They've helped me grow. They connect me to my past and hint at my future, and I hope that when at last I die, I'll have just finished a wonderful story, perhaps a tale that takes me back to the very beginning of it all.
I'll read The End, and then...
The End.
"I might as well read the whole thing backwards," I said, "you'd spoil the whole book, knowing the ending right at the start."
"Maybe," he said, "But the beginning would sure be a surprise!"
I thought about that conversation tonight as I was doing laundry and watching Buffy the Vampire Slayer. I came to Buffylate; I started watching it in season five, kept watching through the series' end, while at the same time catching up on the old episodes by watching the earlier seasons on DVD. Tonight, having just finished the final episode of season four, I realized that I have come back to the beginning of my Buffy experience - smack dab in the middle of the series.
Watching the first four seasons while knowing the ultimate fate of the characters adds a certain resonance to the proceedings; every line, every action, every revelation is coloured by my prescient knowledge of what's to come. This is especially rewarding with a show like Buffy, where story arcs were planned so far in advance. Emotions are more poignant, and the story's texture becomes deeper, more rich.
I guess this is why I keep my books and comics; the stories are always new, even if I've read them many times before. Reading A Princess of Mars at twelve is very different than reading it at thirty; you could even argue that the book was read by two entirely different people, two individuals merely perceived as a single entity because we share a few common memories and some physical characteristics. Whether Earl at twelve and Earl at thirty were the same person or not, the experience of absorbing that book was different each time, and each experience had its own rewards. We start out younger than major characters, seeing men and women in their twenties as impossibly wise and ancient; and then we suddenly discover, years later, that we have become a year or two older than those same characters. Our heroes and villains become our contemporaries, even our peers.
Stephen Hawking once theorized that at the end of the universe, time would start running backwards, and it would seem quite normal for us to assemble from ashes, grow younger and more vital, then smaller, smaller, more and more helpless, until at last we retreat into the womb and shrink to nonexistence, finally dividing into sperm and egg. If time really does work this way, if our experience of life is an illusion forced upon us by our physical limitations, then maybe reading books or watching television shows out of sequence isn't such a crazy idea. Perhaps we'll get to see it in the "right" order, eventually...even if we have to wait a few billion years.
I guess when you read a book for the first time, the book informs your life and alters your perception of the world. But when you read it again, your experiences suddenly alter your perception of the book, and the expected suddenly defies all expectations. We see what was once invisible, and perhaps lose sight of what once was clear. The same must be true when we examine any work of art.
I have a pretty large collection of books and movies, and sometimes people ask me if I've read them all, and why I don't just sell them off after I've seen them once. I think I have my answer now. My books, my comics, my movies - they are a part of me. They've helped me grow. They connect me to my past and hint at my future, and I hope that when at last I die, I'll have just finished a wonderful story, perhaps a tale that takes me back to the very beginning of it all.
I'll read The End, and then...
The End.
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