DC Editor for a Day

Let's say, for some insane reason, DC Comics decided to give me editorial control over their line of comic book titles, but only to the extent that I could create a slate of comics based strictly on existing characters.  

Well, I'd create the line that I would want to read, without regard for sales viability. Here's what it would look like, imagining that each title has an incredible creative team: 

 

Superman Books

Action Comics (anthology led by Superman, just the way it started back in 1938)

DC Comics Presents (Superman team-up stories)

Lana Lang (Lana Lang, on-again off-again girlfriend of Clark Kent, goes on archeological adventures from Qurac to Skartaris to Atlantis) 

Lex Luthor (diabolical tales of Lex Luthor's infamies great and small) 

Lois Lane: Woman of Steel (Lois Lane's adventures as a brave, bold reporter) 

Man of Tomorrow (Superman's adventures with the adult Legion of Super-Heroes)

Man of Steel (Superman's adventures as a radical 

The Private Life of Clark Kent (Clark Kent's day-to-day adventures in journalism, dating, grocery shopping, etc.) 

Supergirl (stories of Kara Zor-El, Superman's cousin) 

Superman (Superman's main title, with his biggest adventures)

Young Clark Kent (Clark Kent's life in Smallville, as his powers were developing; frequently crosses over with Legion of Super-Heroes, below)

Batman Books

Batgirl (the adventures of congresswoman Barbara Gordon, AKA Batgirl, in Washington, DC)

Batman (Batman's main title, two-fisted street crime adventures) 

The Brave and the Bold (Batman team-up stories) 

Legends of the Dark Knight (Batman stories told from the perspective of his villains) 

Detective Comics (anthology led by Batman, just the way it started; detective stories) 

Team Books

Birds of Prey (Batgirl, Black Canary, Huntress, and Hawk and Dove fight street-level crime) 

Blackhawks! (a squad of pilots from around the world fly into danger wherever they can find it!) 

Doom Patrol (DP members from all incarnations of the team gather to fight the weirdest threats ever) 

Freedom Fighters (the heroes of Earth X have freed their world from tyranny, only to be stranded in ours!) 

Gorilla Soldiers (Congorilla, Detective Chimp, Beppo the Super Monkey, Angel and the Ape, and xx versus their arch-rivals the Ultra-Humanite, Gorilla Grodd, Titano the Super-Ape, and Monsieur Mallah and the Brain.)  

The Haunted Tank (ghostly adventures in World War II) 

Justice League of America (DC's greatest heroes team up to face the biggest threats) 

Justice Society of America (the greatest heroes of the 1930s and 40s fight the Nazis and other fascists and mad scientists) 

Legion of Substitute Heroes (good-hearted Legion rejects try to do the right thing despite their shortcomings) 

Legion of Super-Heroes (dozens of super-powered teenagers of the 31st century explore the galaxy and combat interstellar evil)

Secret Society of Super-Villains (super-villains work in secret, hatching sinister conspiracies to rule the world--but can they avoid killing each other?) 

Suicide Squad (super-villains and anti-heroes reluctantly work together under threat of government sanction, performing secret missions so dangerous that not everyone comes back alive)

Suicide Squad Secret Missions (Suicide Squad anthology)  

Tales of the Green Lantern Corps (anthology series about the non-Terran Green Lanterns) 

Titans (generations of sidekicks work together to prove themselves) 

The Other Heroes

Animal Man

Aquaman

The Atoms (scientists Ray Palmer and Ryan Choi explore the microverse) 

Black Canary

Black Lightning

Blue Beetle

Captain Atom

Elongated Man (back to the original concept, the Nick and Nora Charles of the superhero world; lighthearted mysteries of the jet set) 

Fury of Firestorm (Ron Raymond and Martin Stein take back the Firestorm matrix - but they're not happy about it!) 

Flash Legacy (anthology of stories of the fastest men and women alive, from World War II to the far future) 

Green Arrow

Green Lantern

Hawks (the adventures of Katar and Shayera Hol, police officers of Thanagar) 

Hellblazer

Red Tornado

Shazam! and the Marvel Family

Swamp Thing
Vixen and Bronze Tiger (solo adventures of the Suicide Squad team-mates) 

Wonder Woman

Zatanna

A pretty solid selection of titles--at least from my selfish perspective. 

Black Canary Rocks

I never thought I'd live in a world with a Lego Black Canary, but here we are. Still one of my favourite comic book heroines: smart, sensitive, courageous, takes no guff, sings, fights crime, and runs a flower shop. Now that's a superwoman. 

The Moonhaulers

When I first saw this calendar sometime back in 1977, I'm sure my face fell in slack-jawed wonder. Some villain had knocked the moon out of its orbit, and only the Justice League (and Supergirl) could put it back in its rightful place! The concept is ludicrous, but the great Neal Adams somehow makes it work. Those kilometres-long harnesses bolted across the face of the moon are wonderful, and look at the strain on the faces of Superman and Supergirl. Adams totally sells it. Everyone has a role to play; presumably Green Lantern is either shoring up the harnesses so they don't snap, or helping push; possibly both. Wonder Woman is using her lasso to help arrest the Moon's fall, even though in this era she couldn't fly under her own power, so I'm not sure what's going on there. Compared to the titans putting all their godlike energy into the effort, Hawkman's Thanagarian police cruiser probably isn't adding much thrust to the package, but all for one and one for all. I suppose Aquaman, Green Arrow and Black Canary are on board to provide damage control if the ship blows some fuses.

As for Batman, well...thanks for coming out, Bruce, but standing there and yelling "Push! Harder!" can't be that helpful in this situation.

Not Green Arrow's Finest Moment

While Superman has long been one of my favourite comic book characters - if not the favourite - I often prefer the stories featuring second-tier characters such as Green Arrow (aka Oliver Queen) and Black Canary (aka Dinah Lance), mostly because it seems like the writers and artists feel more comfortable taking chances and exploring the boundaries of the medium.

For example, during the "Dollar Comic" era of World's Finest, when each issue was super-sized and featured a half-dozen characters in four different stories, I looked forward to the Black Canary/Green Arrow stories most, because I enjoyed their tempestuous relationship.

When I first read this issue - #253, cover-dated November 1978 - I was only nine years old, and I thought Black Canary was being kind of mean to her boyfriend. I took their argument at face value, missing the nuance entirely, because I hadn't learned about the birds and the bees yet...nor the menstrual cycle:

"This Earth 2 deal, going home, finding yourself, all of it's part of the mood you get in. A few days, you'll be over it." 

"Do you seriously think my problems are biological? That I'm like a faucet you can turn on and off?" 

It seems pretty clear to me that Oliver is attributing Dinah's current feelings to her period - edgy stuff for a comic book allegedly targeted at kids! From an adult perspective, Green Arrow's dismissive behaviour is revealed as almost hilariously sexist and blockheaded; my sympathies now lie entirely with Dinah. No wonder their on-again, off-again relationship didn't work out in the end.

To-the-Point Review of Arrow

Arrow premiered on the CW last night. I watched with low expectations but was nonetheless pleasantly surprised by what turned out to be an above-average hour of derring-do and angst-ridden super-hero drama.

Adapting the decades-old story of second-string DC character Green Arrow, Arrow's pilot tells the hero's origin in effective flashback form, adding just enough elements to freshen the familiar plot. In short, billionaire heir Oliver Queen (Stephen Amell) is stranded on a Pacific island for five years, forced to turn himself into a hunter to survive, and returns to the United States to take over the family business. There are hints that Queen's father, who didn't survive the shipwreck that marooned his son, was involved in some shady dealings - affairs that Queen the younger wants to put back in their proper order.

As might be expected from the youth-skewing CW network, Arrow features a gaggle of improbably sexy actors; fortunately, the feature players have the acting chops to imbue their characters with the necessary charisma and empathy to keep viewers watching for more than the eye candy. Oliver's ex, (Dinah) Laurel Lance (Katie Cassidy), is particularly appealing as a crusading young lawyer, and it's nice to see former Borg queen Susanna Thompson as Oliver's mom, Moira Queen.

The pilot's plot is straightforward, but I have to give the creators credit for catching me off guard with a significant twist late in the game. I'm not caught by surprise that often, and it's always pleasant to have dramatic expectations overturned.

For a superhero show, the physics of Oliver's feats are nearly plausible; as the titular Arrow, he uses a combination of parkour, fisticuffs and his facility with the bow to accomplish his goals. Director David Nutter gives the fight scenes room to breathe, and the editing is refreshingly clear, free of the recent disagreeable trend that reduces action scenes to a series of incomprehensible jump cuts and closeups. There's an art to stunt work, and it's nice to see these performers shine.

When compared to the CW's most famous super-hero drama, the recently concluded Smallville, Arrow is a more serious, more adult show, with less annoying characters and a protagonist who's already better drawn than Smallville's Clark Kent ever was, even after only one episode.

Arrow doesn't hit the bulls-eye, but it doesn't fly wildly off-target, either. I'll continue watching to see if its aim improves.

Sylvia vs. the Spider

Click to embiggen!

Before Sylvia and I started dating, we were simply friends who enjoyed Scrabble. During those early weeks, we would often meet at one of the picnic tables in the Baywood Park courtyard to duel with letters.

During one such game, I noticed that a very large spider was slowly descending from the trees above, webslinging its way onto Sylvia's shoulder. I'd already learned that Sylvia reacts badly to bugs - very badly. I froze, unsure of what to do. Warn Sylvia, prompting a scream? Or do nothing, and hope that she wouldn't notice?

I opted for the latter. For long seconds, my strategy seemed to be working; the spider perched happily upon her shoulder, Sylvia none the wiser. Soon, I thought, the spider would scamper away and Sylvia would never know. Placidly, Sylvia examined her letters.

But then the spider leapt forward, springing from her shoulder right onto the table. Sylvia's eyes bugged out, then pinched shut as she clenched her fists and released a blood-curdling sonic scream Black Canary herself would have been proud of. The spider scurried away as I desperately plugged my ringing ears. Tree leaves fell from vibrating branches, and car alarms went off for blocks around. Our letters shook themselves off the board. I was certain that a SWAT team would appear at any moment, but eventually Sylvia's defensive wail died off and the world stopped spinning.

I exaggerate only a little.

The Scariest Justice League Cover Ever

When I first saw this comic book cover, it gave me nightmares. Super-heroes reduced to red dust by a bug-eyed, pink-skinned monster! Those empty costumes, stark reminders of heroes blasted to atoms! Eeeeee! I had the heebie-jeebies over this for years.

Fortunately, the heroes were fine by the next issue.