Thursday, May 04, 2006

Wisteria Hysteria

In an email sent some months ago to a few of my friends, I described the lunacy of "The Negative-Crisis on Earths One-Two!" from JLA #56, September, 1967. Now, thanks to the wonders of the blogosphere, here's an updated missive, with illustrations!

A "Negative Crisis" has infected several superheroes - some from Earth-1, some from Earth-2 - with "negative radiation," causing them to run berzerk. The solution to such an unusual crisis?

Pages of senseless violence, of course.

Here, the Earth-2 Hawkman and the Earth-1 Green Arrow are in a battle with a mind-controlled Earth-1 Flash.


...explosi-arrows??


How chu doin', mang?

The mighty Flash, brought down with nothing more than an explosi-arrow (?!) and a few flower petals. And yet, this weakness isn't listed on his DC Heroes RPG character sheet.

Later, Mr. Terrific and Wildcat, both of Earth-2, must battle the possessed Green Lantern of Earth-1. The following exchange occurs just as Green Lantern whaps Wildcat and Mr. Terrific around with some giant tables (!) constructed with his power ring, a super-weapon that creates whatever Green Lantern can imagine out of thin air:




Mr. Terrific's abdominal plate is yellow. Why not use it as a sheild?




Sergio Leone's "A Fistful of Flowers," coming to a theatre near you.





Sour apples indeed

Parents, tired of your kids? Send them to Camp Green Lantern for the summer!




Almost as bad as Batman incapacitating himself by stepping on a pebble, but not quite.




Oh, the humanity. Beating an unconscious man with sticks. Comic books - they're not just for kids!




Livin' in a BOX...livin' in a wooden box...

This is how super-heroes treat their friends - by mercilessly beating them with sticks. Now, imagine how they treat their foes, and you can see why, in the real world, the ACLU would probably disapprove of costumed vigilantes.

4 comments:

Sean Woods said...

I keep coming back to this entry so I can see GL being beaten with sticks.

Good thing those sticks didn't have nails.

Sean Woods said...

Note: The fact that Mr. "Fair Play" Terrific is beating him with a stick makes it even better.

Piotr said...

So, if by "a few months ago" you mean 2002, then yes it was a recent email.

From the perspective of 1967, an admittedly short time.

susan_rn92 said...

Aye-yi yi! This is what we get from a superhero fanatic that has training in horticulture.