Thursday, February 24, 2005

Squishing Sylvia


Schematic by Sean E. Woods

Sylvia, for some unfathomable reason, loves doing the laundry. Unfortunately, this is a dangerous love, for roughly a quarter of the volume of our laundry room is full of comic books, in long cardboard boxes piled precariously to the ceiling.

Fortunately, the heavy boxes are reinforced in such a manner that the odds of a catastrophic collapse are low. A long, heavy coffee table, tilted on its side, acts as a bulwark against disaster, shoring up the comic boxes.

My brother is currently in need of a coffee table, and at first I thought perhaps I could loan him the one in the laundry room. But after Sean and I examined the situation together, we realized that to risk the structural integrity of the precariously positioned collection of funnybooks - not to mention Sylvia's structural integrity - was foolish. Sean's detailed schematic of the situation (above) should make our problem clear.

How long will the coffee table keep the boxes safely in place? Who knows? Sometimes I worry that I'll come home one day and Sylvia's limbs will be sticking out from under a pile of torn cardboard and scattered comics. An ironic end for the girlfriend of a geek, to be sure, but one cannot go about risking human lives willy-nilly for the sake of an elegant dramatic turn.

Looks like I may need to build some shelves.

9 comments:

Anonymous said...

Nice illustration, Sean.

It accurately depicts the dangers I brave to keep my love and I looking nice in our clean clothes!

Life with - number 3 geek - can be "dangerous".... who knew? Lol.

Sylvia

Colin said...

Number 3 Geek? Who're numbers 1 and 2? Or should I even ask?
As someone who unloaded said boxes upon boxes of comics, I would happily loan Earl a blowtorch if the two of them should ever happen to move again. In fact, I'd burn them for him.

Colin

susan_rn92 said...

I have some suggestions you might consider. Have you thought of renting a storage locker for your comics? If Sean really likes the coffee table, could you find something else that would be suitable as a bulwark? Earl, if you ever let your beautiful Sylvia get squished I don't think your blog fans would ever forgive you!

Susan

Earl J. Woods said...

A STORAGE LOCKER??? Perish the thought!!!! :-O

Anonymous said...

Colin, although your suggestion is a very immediate and permanent solution, I have to agree with Susan.

Susan, I think your idea is genius! I also appreciate your sentiment! Thank you. I really enjoyed meeting you and your fiance. I hope all is well with the both of you.

Earl, we need to have a chat - re: comic book storage.......lol, lol, lol!

Anonymous said...

Oooooooppsss, forgot to sign above comment. I'm new to Blohging.

Sylvia :)

Earl J. Woods said...

Susan is married to Jeff, Sylvia - you haven't met them yet. You're thinking of Andrea.

Anonymous said...

Susan, please accept my apologies. I did confuse you with Earl's friend Andrea. I am so embarassed :0!

I know that you live in Vancouver and you are a nurse. Earl mentions you and Jeff often.

Bloghing be damned! Lol!

Sylvia

Sean Woods said...

MADNESS!!