Friday, October 08, 2010

Dear Mr. Peanut

Dear Mr. Peanut,

Having just finished a 300 g bag of Planters Mixed Nuts (60% Peanuts), I note with some consternation that not a single Brazil nut was included in the package. For days I consumed filberts, peanuts, almonds and cashews, thinking how odd it was that my fingers had yet to brush against a noble Brazil. And now, gazing into the bottom of an empty foil bag, peering at the sad remains - a few peanut skins and some crumbs - the awful truth remains: no Brazils, despite their prominent appearance on the packaging.

It's true that Brazils are the last nut mentioned on the list of ingredients, but surely that implies that at least one such nut (or arguably two, since the plural is used) will be found in the bag. Why, then, did I fail to encounter a single Brazil - or even a fraction of one?

I can only assume that each bag of Planters Mixed Nuts (60% Peanuts) is assembled mechanically, with nut chutes pouring the appropriate proportion of goobers, filberts, etc. into each bag. Was the Brazil nut hopper not loaded for this bag? Or - horrors - did the hopper remain empty for hours? Days? There could be hundreds of bags missing the essential Brazil.

Please address this grievous error, lest the competition get a legume up on you.

Yours,

Earl J. Woods
Concerned Nutty Fan

6 comments:

Totty said...

Please tell me that you didn't go that far just for the "legume" pun.

amanda_k said...

You know, in Brazil they just call them nuts!

"Amok Jeff" said...

I have the sinking feeling that if there was a Canada nut, said nut would be the one that was reaching into the bag.

When you have a large number of irregular solid shapes in a container and they settle, the smaller pieces will filter through to the bottom and the larger pieces will tend to "float" on top. If the nut chute is on the bottom of the container taking advantage of the force of gravity to move the nuts into the bags, then you probably won't see many Brazil nuts until near the end of the run.

On the plus side, your selection of nuts is probably the freshest. Noble the Brazils may be, but the laws of physics will keep them slumming with the stale nut clique.

"Amok Jeff" (a) said...

Use The Google search engine to seek out the xact term "Brazil Nut Effect". Then report your finsings.

"Amok Jeff" (b) said...

Gahh, typos. Exact. Findings.

susan_rn92 said...

I am going nutty waiting to find out if they will answer you. Truth in advertising is really important.