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Friday, September 18, 2015

Oranges & Iron

In a conversation with Jeff about the intrinsic hilarity of throwing up (don't ask), I was distracted by a turn in the discussion and came up with a cool new adventure story for Paranoid Productions:

O R A N G E S & I R O N

In Oranges & Iron, ambitious industrialists are on the verge to completing the fabled Cape to Cairo railway. As part of the festivities, a massive shipment of Capetown Oranges will travel via the new railway to the citrus-starved denizens of Cairo.

But not everyone is sanguine about the new line, a product of European imperialism, an iron scar carved into the spine of Africa against the wishes of that continent's people! Fierce Bantu tribesmen and scurvy Indian Ocean pirates plan to sabotage the shipment for reasons both noble and nefarious. Against this backdrop of colonial conflict, our heroes struggle to survive the nearly 6,800 km journey!

Characters would include the dashing but villainous robber baron, the fiendish orange grove owner, an Egyptian merchant prince, a young Bantu warrior, the plucky railroad engineer (a woman), a British debutante on her first train journey, her fretting governess, a German spy, the conflicted pirate first mate and his cruel captain (and assorted scurvy dogs), the stalwart but harsh sailors of the British frigate HMS Recalcitrant, an 8 year old stowaway rascal, and Tarzan.

There would be a crate of hand grenades fashioned to look like oranges; the pin would be disguised as a pair of leaves growing from the "navel" of each "orange." At one point, the stowaway rascal will toss a faux orange into the confused hands of a pirate attacking the train. After the orange/grenade blows up in the villain's face, the boy will exclaim "Orange you glad you experienced that explosion of flavour?"

I think it could be a winner. 

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