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Thursday, April 30, 2020

Superman at the Great Barrier


Jeff Shyluk said...

"That tickles!"

They load Supes back onto the Enterprise using Galileo 7, then McCoy restrains The Man Of Steel down to the sensor bed with straps laced with Kryptonite. The good doctor knows the procedure from consulting his Fabrini texts. Besides, it seems like they have to strap Superman down every second episode, like the time he built an android version of himself for Sargon, the time he built an android version of himself for Dr. Roger Korby, and the time he built an android version of himself on Mudd's World.

"Bones, why does he look like that?" Kirk gestures manfully at Superman's face, in which are embedded two silver half ping-pong balls where his eyes used to be.

"My guess it's a latent effect from exposure to gamma-delta radiation. It doesn't seem to effect his vision, which if I may say so, is super."


"Super voice, check."

Kirk looks at the medical monitor. Superman is flipping through the pages of the ship's library at incredible speed. "He seems to be reading at his normal rate."

"He looks to be absolutely normal in every aspect, in perfect health." asserts McCoy, fingering his swirling medical tricorder. It whistles in accord. "At least he's stopped making android replicas of himself, that's good."

"He probably won't try that until next week, when we are scheduled to visit Flint's planet," Scotty presumes.

Kirk rubs his jaw with maximum virility. "Yes, but those eyes. They keep... staring. Can't you do something about that?"

"We could try giving him these eyeglasses." McCoy fishes a pair of spectacles from his desk drawer.

"Put them on him, Bones. Put them on."

"Aiyeeee!!!" shrieks Nurse Chapel, "He... he... why, he's Clark Kent!!!"

"CUT!" yells Colin Mochrie. "That was horrible!! I haven't seen that much crap since I filmed that horse laxative commercial! Do that scene again, but this time I want real human emotion... real feelings, real character development that audience can believe in. So do it in the style of a 1970's porno! ACTION!!"


Earl J. Woods said...

As always the true gold is in the comments. I didn't want to say anything until I'd finished Jedi Superman, but my next crossover project will be Where No Superman Has Gone Before. I wasn't planning on using the great barrier story, but now I wonder...