Thursday, May 12, 2005
Pork Chop Oink
Pork Chop Oink, by Sean Woods
Agent of CHAOS File: Pork Chop Oink
Alias: Pork Chop Oink
Affiliation: Minions of CHAOS
Real Name: Pork Chop Oink
Height: 2 cm
Weight: 100 g
Distinguishing Features: is a pork chop
Costume: None (sometimes wears pimp clothes)
Powers: Enticing aroma; sentient, can speak
Vulnerabilities: Knives and forks
Secret Origin: Unknown
Notes: Also known as "les grand jambon avec les yeux"
Little is known about Pork Chop Oink. He has been working with the Minions of CHAOS since at least 1987, and probably for far longer. His super-powers are undaunting, but his malice and vitriol are unmatched by any in the Minion camp, including such bitter stalwarts as Irrational Carrot, Teeth-Filled Cyst, and The Amazing UGH!.
When last encountered, Pork Chop Oink was working in Detroit, Michigan, as a pimp. When turned down for a date, Pork Chop Oink is often heard to complain, "What am I, chopped oink?"