Bitter Litter II: Basil's Revenge
Screenplay.....Earl J. Woods
Directed.....Earl J. Woods
Steven Neumann.....The Robot
Earl J. Woods...Voice of the Artificial Intelligence
1. INT. An apartment and adjoining hallway. A body lies prone with a cord wrapped around its neck. Another body is sprawled across the first. A humanoid ROBOT stands over them, a hammer in hand.
ROBOT: I have littered. I must take out the trash.
The ROBOT drags the two men - BASIL and VENGEFUL MAN - out the door and down the hall.
CLOSE SHOT of BASIL's eyes, fluttering open. He appears to have only been stunned by the blow delivered in the first BITTER LITTER film!
BASIL: My head...what...what happened...the brain machine...my mother told me...never to be a quitter...Doc...Doc...he shot her...that punk with the ray gun shot her...earrrgghhh!!!!
BASIL wrenches himself from the ROBOT's grasp. The ROBOT drops the CORPSE of the man with the cord around his neck.
ROBOT: Stop. You are trash. You are no longer bitter.
BASIL: No longer bitter? No longer bitter? I'll show you how bitter I am! I still have the brain machine!
BASIL starts turning and twisting dials. The ROBOT stutters and spasms.
ROBOT: Stop! My circuits - you are scrambling them - making my eyes - glitter - flitter -
BASIL: Yeah!? Why don't you tweet about it on Twitter???
ROBOT: Danger! Anachron particles detected! Continuity crisis made possible by mutant machine!
2. INT. OFFICE. A 1990s-era IBM PC sits on a desk. A happy face glows on the green CRT monitor.
ARTIFICIAL INTELLIGENCE: I am the world's first and only artificial life form, Doctor! Well, except for your Robot, and it doesn't count because it's just a rhyming murder machine! Aren't humans proved so respectful?
3. INT. HALLWAY. ROBOT and BASIL battle. ROBOT knocks BASIL's glasses off with his hammer.
BASIL: My glasses! I can't see a thing without them! I'm blind as a ba-aaa-aaa--aaaattt!
ROBOT: Now you can change careers and be a pipe fitter. You no longer need to be the witter of us anymore.
BASIL: You're not making seee-eeennn---ssseeee!!!
BASIL, in desperation, throws the brain machine at the ROBOT. The ROBOT's face is smashed and its head explodes.
BASIL: I did it! I killed the Robot! Now who's the quitter, Ma? Now who's the quitter!? Ah ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!
4. INT. the INSTITUTE. The DIRECTOR appears, carrying the brain machine. He scurries down a dark hallway as he delivers the film's coda:
DIRECTOR: This has been another...Paranoid...Production.