Wednesday, May 10, 2017

The Force Unbalanced

10,000 years ago
Jedi and Sith met at the plunder pits of Tharkissian
And the Sith said,
"Share with me three words of wisdom
And you may leave this place unharmed."
The Jedi said,
"The first lesson is this:
When the wind tears your home and lands asunder,
curse not the gods, for they gave you the air to breathe."
And the Sith nodded.
Then the Jedi said,
"The second lesson is this:
If your brother should betray you, cede not the high ground;
But lift him up alongside you."
And the Sith paused, but then nodded.
And the Jedi said,
"The third lesson is this:
Listen well when the elders share with you the true secret of the Force..."
And the Sith leaned forward eagerly.
And the Jedi said,
"...it equals math times alliteration."
And the Sith said,
"What? ARRRRR! That's not wisdom! It's just a stupid pun that doesn't even make sense, there's no buildup or context for the punchline! Now feel the TRUE POWER of the DARK SIDE."
But the Jedi said,
"Energize!"
And he vanished in a shimmering cloud of matter-energy conversion.
And the Sith knelt, tilted his head back toward the stars, and said,
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO"

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