Canadian Graffiti

The Left Coast of Nowhere

This would work much better without the BC silhouette. But the forms must be obeyed. 

What Might Yet Be

After years of searching used book stores for Alternate Heroes, the second book in the What Might Have Been series pictured above, I finally bit the bullet a couple of weeks ago and just ordered it from Amazon. On a whim I lined the books up side-by-side and the commonality of theme struck me: these books all reinforce a cultural norm that's been drilled into citizens since the invention of history: that conflict is part of existence, it's accepted.

Alternate Empires. Alternate Heroes. Alternate Wars. Alternate Americas. Why not Alternate Romances? Alternate Democracies? Alternate Saints? Alternate Friendships? It's not like such stories would have any less potential for gripping human drama - or even potboiler entertainment of the sort offered here.

I'm not at all criticizing these books or the writers who contributed to them; there's value in exploring these themes. But I find it fascinating how popular culture reflects and directs what we believe about the world around us. For a series based on the concept of alternate history, it's interesting that their collective subtext is one of historical and cultural inevitability. 

Mom and the Dinosaur

Mother's Day is a good time to reflect not only how important our mothers are in our lives, but to wonder what their lives must have been like before we came along. I certainly wonder that sometimes, at least, especially when I run across old photos like this one, which depicts Mom in 1966 sitting on the tail of a dinosaur. The slide was pretty degraded, and it's going to take some more work to properly retouch it, but even as it is I find this image a fascinating glimpse into the past. Happy Mother's Day, Mom!

Painting Pyramids

Ear to the Ground

Who Knew NuWho Would Woo Woods?

Way back in 2005 I watched the first episode of the revived Dr. Who, "Rose." At the time the episode didn't leave much of an impression on me, and so I let the new series slide. Since then, of course, the show has earned great critical acclaim and the high opinion of several of my friends, so I've given the show another try. 

I'm a little over midway through the Eccleston season, and I must say I'm already won over. The show is a lot more fun that I remember, and much more ambitious than I anticipated. And perhaps most importantly, it's joyous - an important quality in an era drowning in irony and pessimism. 

From what I've read, apparently the series gets even better as it moves forward in time. I can't believe it took me this long to catch up on the Doctor's adventures, and I look forward to great things to come. 

The Tyranny of Choice

A Moment of Melancholy

How sad that there will likely never be a Blu-Ray box set of Toilet Chase, Pipe Maniac, and Toilet Chase III: Flush Point. 

Keep an Ear Out

Photoshop's pen tool is the scariest of all Photoshop tools, so I gritted my teeth and experimented with it to create the curvy tagline worming its way into this eerie ear canal. 

The Spectre of Shakespeare

Even the 20th century's greatest skid row Renaissance man, Edward D. Wood Jr., must have felt, as all writers do, the silent approbation of history's most celebrated scribe. I've been working on a story called "The Crawling Ear" and LEGO Shakespeare's wry gaze seems to condemn me to Wood's fate - as a forgotten hack of cheap, tawdry dime novels. Well, I can think of worse fates...plus it inspired me to shoot this (I hope) amusing photo. 

Bathroom Beam-Out

Clown in a Photo Booth

Freefall with Nathan

Two nights ago I dreamed I was spacewalking outside a Russian space station with Nathan Fillion. We watched as a Soyuz docked at the station, then he turned to me, the stars his backdrop, and said, "Well, I guess we should be heading back to Earth."

By way of reply I saluted jauntily and let myself fall freely toward the planet, for after all that's how astronauts returned, not in spaceships, but by simply allowing ourselves to be recaptured by the gentle tug of gravity. At first our descent was slow, but then Nathan pulled off his helmet and tossed it aside, and that seemed to accelerate us; we drilled man-shaped holes through the clouds, hooting and cawing in delight as we hurtled through the sky.

Nathan disposed of the rest of his spacesuit and I was unsurprised to see that he was wearing his Captain Mal costume from Firefly. But I was comfortable in my marshmallow-like costume, and I performed midair antics as we fell; I made silly faces (unseen, of course, through my helmet), posed like Superman, relaxed with my hands on my head as if I were napping in a hammock.

It was in that relaxed pose that I slammed into the ground, at the same instant as Nathan, and each of us created a massive network of splinters through the already-cracked desert landscape.

"Wow!" I exclaimed. "Those last few meters sure come up fast!" I finally pulled off my helmet and began the beat the dust from my spacesuit. Nathan had landed on his feet, which annoyed me a little; he had remarkable poise.

Suddenly I was alone, looking up at an azure sky that faded to deep black, and the stars above gleamed. 

Planning a Powell's Pilgrimage

One day - perhaps this summer - I would like to visit Powell's Books, the world's largest independent new and used book store. Perhaps I'll take a couple of flex days surrounding the Canada Day holiday. Who's with me? Sean? Sylvia? Jeff and Susan? Steven? I suppose that's a lot of people for one vehicle...

Alberta Velocipede

A few years back, Mom and Dad caught some people riding velocipedes on an Alberta farm. The original image was a little crowded, so I tested my image manipulation skills by seeing if I could paint them out convincingly. It turned out all right, but then I had the idea of adding blur to make it look like the cyclist was speeding across the prairie. It's a little primitive, but sort of fun. 

Grass River Crew Cut

Here's Dad near the Grass River in Manitoba sporting a truly archetypal 1960s crew cut. The original photo is pretty overexposed and resisted my efforts to correct it; I need more practice. The grass is sure a vibrant green, though. 

Bridge to Nowhere

I'm running out of provinces and territories for the Nowhere series to visit, so here I'm resorting to a fake behind-the-scenes "making of" text, the first non-fiction work in the not-yet-a-series. This bridge is just north of Leaf Rapids, straddling the Churchill River. 

Cape Nowhere

I hadn't done Nova Scotia yet in my series of imaginary "Nowhere" book covers, so this time I tried a photo cover. It might work better with the title on the bottom, my name at the upper right, and the Nova Scotia space-scape overlaid on the gantry.

Hmm. This is a little better, I think. 

Signature Moment

A wedding photo?! I know, I know. But it's never a bad time to praise our friend and photographer, Yolande Cole, who so generously donated her time and talent to our wedding. And it's also never a bad time for a bad pun; this was, after all, a signature moment. 

Roadkill Stanzas

Help! Help!
We die! Ugh! Oh!
Over the dangerous cliff we go!

Help! Help!
We fall! Ack! Aiieee!
This unfortunate circumstance we did not foresee!

Help! Help!
The artist is mad!
Condemns us with malfunctioning brake pad!

We die! Ugh! Oh!
Where all of the supernumerary characters go!
We fall to our dooms without rhyme or reason -
This is the Golden Age, the super-hero season! 

Odious Candies

Shipwrecked on Candy Isle
Gilligan ate everything but
Goodies and Big Turk

A Clean Alternative

I was helping Sylvia with the wash this weekend when we were both startled by the sound of something clattering out of the clothes dryer. When I leaned down to see what had fallen, I was initially baffled by the sight of an Alternate key - until I remembered that Sean and I had each saved a key after smashing our old Atari computers. I must have saved it in my sweat pants pocket and forgotten about it until the pants and the key went through an entire wash cycle.

The key came out spotless, both inside and out - no mean feat, considering it had been sitting in a dark, musty corner of a basement for years. Cleaning keyboards can be a frustrating experience, but the next time that task faces me, I may very well pop off all the keys and throw them in with my next load of clothes. The results are spectacular! 

Manitoba Horror House

When Sean and I went to Manitoba in 2009, we came across this creepy abandoned farmhouse. I thought this was the only reasonable response. 

LEGO Noir