Making Repairs

During the election, I removed all of my links - without saving them first. I've found several of my friends' sites again, but for those of you I've missed and who would like to be linked to, just send me an email or post your URL in the comments after this post.

Sorry, Wrong Number

Seconds ago, my phone rang:

"Hello?"

"Hello, is this the place where you get the mattresses?"

"Um, I'm sorry, I don't think so. Well, I have a mattress, but I'm using it."

"Okay, thank you!"

We're back!

With the Alberta General Election of 2008 over, I can return to blogging! As you can see from the last couple of posts, my original plan was to blog as I campaigned, but I quickly discovered that there weren't enough hours in the day for writing - let alone eating and sleeping.

While the outcome of the election was disappointing for me (for those of you who haven't heard, the Progressive Conservatives won still another overwhelming majority), I have no regrets whatsoever about running. It was a profound experience. I had the privelege of meeting hundreds of Albertans, I had fun with a wide variety of media outlets (and thanks to CBC, Global Television, CKUA, CTV, City TV, the Sturgeon Creek Post, Edmonton Journal, Edmonton Sun and Fort Saskatchewan Record for covering my campaign!), and enjoyed the support of dozens of friends and family members. I also had a lot of fun at the Candidate Forum in Fort Saskatchewan, though I do wish the Premier had shown up to debate.

For the record, I came in second in my particular race, with a little over 1300 votes. Premier Ed Stelmach, as many expected, came in first place, with over 11,000 votes. With a result like that, you have to laugh a little - I believe that I must have the record for "number of votes between first and second place." Almost a 10,000 vote gap! I was right on his tail.

I'm very proud of my fellow candidates and the many staff and volunteers who poured their hearts and souls into this campaign. Every one of them participated in this race because they genuinely believe in the importance of good government and of serving the public with diligence and compassion.

To many people, politics is a dirty word, a necessary evil. But I've always felt that politics is about solving problems, helping those in need, managing resources for the benefit of all, and perhaps most importantly, building a better tomorrow for our descendants.

Stepping forward as a candidate felt a little arrogant. I asked myself time and again, "Who am I to suggest that I can help run a province? Do I really think I can solve problems that people smarter than me have wrestled with for decades?"

I don't know the answers to those questions. But I do know that if nobody tries to solve our problems, the problems will only get worse. And I believe that democracy will be better served when people of all cultural, economic and philosophical backgrounds feel comfortable enough and have sufficient resources to run for and attain public office.

Just a few scattered thoughts as life returns to normal. Thanks to all my readers (all nine of you) for bearing with me.

The Egg Insurmountable

Day Two: Homelessness - Moving Beyond the Shelter

Most of us have encountered homeless people. Sometimes they ask for help, and whenever I'm approached, I give what I can. (Sometimes I wonder how debit cards have affected the homeless; so many people don't carry around cash anymore.) And I give thanks that I've never been put in such a precarious situation.

It's astounding that a province as bountiful as Alberta is home to a growing number of homeless citizens. It's time to do better.

Today, the Alberta Liberals launched our action plan for homelessness. Led by Alberta Liberal candidate for Calgary-Currie, Dave Taylor, the Alberta Liberal research team has developed a solid, workable plan that will ease the affordable housing shortage and help homeless Albertans move beyond the shelter and into safe, affordable, secure and permanent homes.

It's time to do the right thing for Alberta's homeless citizens. Please have a look at the plan here.

Alberta Provincial Election 2008: Day One

On March 3rd, Albertans will elect a new government. I'm proud to serve as the Alberta Liberal candidate for Fort Saskatchewan-Vegreville.

Longtime readers of my blog know that my love for absurdist humour is driven by my desire to call attention to injustice. By running for office, I hope to take a more active role in helping people lead better lives.

After 37 years of one-party government in Alberta, it's time for change. Alberta Liberal Leader Kevin Taft has a terrific action plan for helping Albertans and our province reach their full potential.

In the days and weeks to come, I'll share my campaign experiences with you, along with highlights of the Alberta Liberal plan to help people flourish in a healthy environment; to build a compassionate and secure society; to create an economic climate of unequalled opportunity and permanent prosperity; and to bring openness and accountability back to government.

WITHOUT A SENSE OF CARING THERE CAN BE NO COMMUNITY

Two Candidates

Announced tonight at the University of Alberta as the Alberta Liberal candidate for Fort Saskatchewan-Vegreville, here with Alberta Liberal MLA Dave Taylor (Calgary-Currie). 

Caucus Pondering

A Laugh Before the Changes

The Scariest Justice League Cover Ever

When I first saw this comic book cover, it gave me nightmares. Super-heroes reduced to red dust by a bug-eyed, pink-skinned monster! Those empty costumes, stark reminders of heroes blasted to atoms! Eeeeee! I had the heebie-jeebies over this for years.

Fortunately, the heroes were fine by the next issue.

JLExicon

Click to embiggen...

From Justice League of America #69, cover-dated February, 1969 (my birth month, oddly enough). How sad that these super-heroes feel the need to belittle the vocabulary of their foes. You'd think pounding them to a pulp would be punishment enough.

What I'd Like to See in 2008

A new year brings new hopes. Here are a few of the things I'm looking forward to:

1) A new provincial government. 37 years is too long for any party to remain in power.
2) A new federal government, too.
3) More fulfilling jobs for those of my friends and family currently searching for them.
4) Most importantly, a better life for every human being on the globe.

This early in the 21st century, it's impossible to know exactly what scientific, social, political, artistic and philosophical achievements will lead to a happier human condition; but I'm confident that those improvements will come. Despite all our failings, most people want to do the right thing; most people, given the choice, will choose to help rather than harm.

We won't build a utopia this century. But maybe a "we"-topia is possible. Every act of kindness, each moment of empathy, brings it that much closer.

Also, wouldn't "Wiitopia" make a cool marketing scheme for Nintendo? If you're listening, my Japanese friends, you can have the concept for $10 million - half for me, half for Doctors Without Borders. (Hey, I've got bills to pay...)

Looking Forward

As 2007 draws to a close, I'm reminded that I have some essay ideas kicking around, unwritten. They didn't make it into the blahg in 2007, but since my 100-post goal has now been reached, I figure setting targets could work again in 2008.

Hence, a short list of things I'll write about in 2008:

1) Thoughts on Blade Runner, and the coming struggle to recognize the civil rights of AIs and other human-engineered intelligent life forms
2) What "Spectre of the Gun" says about violence, diplomacy and imperialism
3) the conclusion of "Journey to the Edge of Nowhere"
4) something special for the fifth anniversary of The Bleak House of Blahgs

See you next year!

Hall Full 'o Trash

The sad thing is, this is only about half of the trash I hauled away. I know I promised the film at 11, but I had to run out and renew my vehicle registration...darn sticker wouldn't stick so I had to go buy Crazy Glue. Promptly glued my fingers together in the parking lot. Eventually succeeded in placing 08 tag...glad I didn't glue it on upside down for 80.

New Year Padding Post

So very close to reaching 100 posts, a new Bleak House of Blahgs record. I feel terrible padding, but, dammit, what's a blog without pointless minutiae of interest only to myself?

I used my Future Shop gift certificates to pick up volumes 1, 2 and 3 of Warner's Camp Cult Classics collection. I can't wait to listen to the audio commentary on Queen of Outer Space. Now I can finally retire my old VHS copy.

I also bought The Bourne Ultimatum. Sylvia and I plan to watch it in lieu of going out for New Year's Eve. I'm just not up to a party this year...man, I wish I had a few more days off. Thank goodness I love my job, because it sure takes a lot out of a guy.

Settlering Sylvia's Hash

A couple of days ago I picked up The Settlers of Catan and its two expansion sets (Seafarers of Catan and Cities and Knights of Catan). Jeff and Susan introduced us to the game when they came out for Michael Snyder's wedding last year, and since playing again with the geek crew a couple of months ago, I've been jonesing for my own set.

So Syvia and I played a couple of rounds two days ago; I won each game, but by just one point each time: 10-9, 10-9. Building the longest road was key to victory each time, though in the second game I caught a lucky development card, building the market for 1 victory point.

Sylvia's very good at putting together cities, though. I'm a little nervous...

Moving Madness

After working all day and taking dozens of bags of trash to the dumpster (filling it to overflowing), I have saved some space in my closet and the living room. The main part of my office, however, is even more insane than usual. Film at 11...in the morning.

Symptoms of Consumeritis

Today, in the green wake of Giftmas, I've bagged and hauled away at least two dozen bags of garbage. Most of it's packaging, which I've accumulated and hoarded over a period of at least ten years. I kept the stuff mostly in anticipation of our next move, before realizing that I can just pick up some boxes a few days before the moving truck arrives.

My office is now a little less cluttered. Next, I'd like to install some new shelves so that I can properly store all my books. The mishmash of bookcases I have now is ugly and inefficient. They must go.

If anyone would like to join me at a book organizing/shelf building party sometime in the new year, just let me know. It should be amusing.

Journey to the Edge of Nowhere, Part IV: All My Fading Yesterdays

Part 1

Part 2

Part 3

As we drove northeast, I scanned the horizon for the smokestack I knew awaited us, a silent herald of the tiny mining town where I was born. And just before 5, there it was, belching smoke as it had for decades, as it might for decades more:

I don’t remember much about Flin Flon; I was very young when we moved north to Thompson. But I do have one memory, perhaps false: my earliest one.

In that memory – less real than any dream – I’m sitting on the kitchen counter, looking out the window, and there’s a cherry tree covered with blossoms. It’s sunset. I have a vague feeling that mom or dad or perhaps both of them were standing just behind me.

A road carved through Canadian Shield bedrock, approaching downtown Flin Flon.

And that is all. I may as well never have lived in Flin Flon, for all the impact it’s had on my personal development.

But I am illogically proud of having been born there, simply because the name is so unusual, and because the origins of that name are stranger still.

Here’s the explanation, posted on a sign next to the huge statue of the community’s namesake:

I guess it makes sense that I come from a town named for a fictional character, since I’ve often felt like one myself.

Earl poses with Flinty.

A caged canoe, close to the statue.

We stopped in Flin Flon only to gas up take a few pictures. Once that was accomplished, we took a short hop south to Cranberry Portage, home of my paternal grandmother and her longtime friend, Val Head.

Here’s a recent addition to the town, a plaque explaining the community’s origins:

I have more memories of Cranberry than of Flin Flon, mainly because we visited Grandma from time to time while living in Leaf Rapids, and of course after we moved to Alberta. Grandma had an old sewing machine with a drawer that had little toys in it. There were plastic pigs, cows, some vehicles, and little ceramic houses that I later learned were Red Rose Tea premiums. These trinkets, the books I habitually carried around on such trips and comics purchased (for 35 cents!) at drugstores kept me occupied for hours; I was rarely bored, except when forced to go fishing, and sometimes not even then.

(On one occasion, we were on the lake when a severe storm hit, forcing us to land on a little island. Sean, an infant at the time, was placed underneath the boat.)

Family Food Town in Cranberry, still open for business.

I had no idea where Grandma and Val’s house was located, but Cranberry Portage is so tiny that I only had to drive around for a couple of minutes before stumbling across it. And I discovered once again that time hadn’t waited for me. Not only had many of the town’s businesses closed, Grandma’s yard was much larger than I remember; as Val opened the gate for us so I could park, he explained that they’d bought the property next door and erected a new storage bay.


Grandma and Val.

Dad had warned me that Grandma was suffering from Alzheimer’s, but to my relief she was very lucid and very pleased to see me and meet Sylvia (particularly, I think, since I introduced her as my fiancée.) In fact, I thought she was quite sharp, something I remembered from my childhood; Grandma was always pretty witty. We chatted for a while, and as the evening wound down Val set up the guest house for us, a small but comfy converted shack in the back yard.

Camping with Dad, Mom and Grandma, Suwannee River campground?

We slept surrounded by kitschy but strangely comforting knickknacks, and I drifted off to sleep knowing that come the dawn, we’d be on our way to our ultimate destination. So far, nothing was exactly as I remembered it. Would Leaf Rapids, or at least the sinkhole, be immune to time’s relentless onslaught? Would I find what I was looking for?

What was I looking for?

Click here to read Part V.

More Wii Fun

Sylvia and I bought Sean a Wii Zapper for Christmas, so the family spent much of the afternoon gunning down clay pigeons, skeletons and vultures. I was surprised by how much my parents got into it. But perhaps I shouldn't have been too shocked; one day, while I was watching Jesse James Meets Frankenstein's Daughter, mom came downstairs, looked at the onscreen action and said, "He has a sucking chest wound. Why isn't there pink foam coming out of his mouth?"

Mom's a stickler for realism.

The Bun Toss

One of mom's delicious homemade buns got a little burned on the bottom, so rather than let it go to waste, Sean and I invented a new game. I'm not sure what I expected to happen, but taking a hard bun to the throat wasn't it. Mom even took the pictures - our parents sure put up with a lot.

ZOMG Wasabi Pea

How the Woods family celebrates the holidays.

Wii-Ouch

On December 23rd, Sylvia and I went to Sylvia's parents' apartment for a very tasty holiday dinner (for the record, a delicious grill-it-yourself meat/vegetable/bread selection). We brought over the Wii, and during an intense round of bowling, Sylvia's mom whacked her thumb but good on the coffee table - badly enough for a trip to the hospital the next day. Fortunately no bones were broken, but a splint was required.

Here are some more Wii Warnings:

Civilization IV Coincidence

Yesterday, as I was playing Civilization IV, I instructed my capital city to start construction of the Eiffel Tower, one of the game's World Wonders. Just a couple of turns later, a Great Engineer appeared in my capital. That in itself isn't unusual, but the engineer turned out to be
Eiffel himself! Never before have I used a Great Engineer to actually build the work he's known for; only rarely do my Great People appear anywhere close to their historical time periods, let alone in the nick of time to actually work on their own projects.

Naturally, I forgot to take a screenshot. :-(