Friday, January 05, 2007

The Arrow of His Ways

Green Arrow has a lot of tricks up his quiver, and some of them even make sense. I can see how a flare arrow could come in handy for a super hero; if Green Arrow ever gets lost, he can simply shoot up a flare and one of his Justice League pals, or at least a forest ranger, will come running. A dry ice arrow could be employed to create a fog to befuddle foes. A two-stage rocket arrow could be used to launch a small satellite, or maybe an ICBM. (Hey, in comic books, the implausible is commonplace.)

But...a balloon arrow? A BOOMERANG ARROW? Yeah, that's what I want - an arrow that will turn around and impale me instead of the bad guy.

And why oh why is Green Arrow carrying around a fountain pen arrow? Are his skills so incredible that he can actually shoot this arrow and cause it to write something legible on the the target? Not only that, but why a fountain pen? He'd have to pause and dip it in an inkwell before firing. Wouldn't a ballpoint pen arrow make more sense?

I can only think of one possible dramatic use for this arrow: upon his induction into the Justice League, Superman must have said, "Welcome to the JLA, GREEN ARROW! To make your membership official, you must sign the OATH OF FEALTY!"

To which Green Arrow would have replied, "That's a cinch, SUPERMAN! With my trusty FOUNTAIN PEN ARROW, I can sign the document with just the flick of my bowstring!" Naturally, these words would have gushed forth in the instant it took Green Arrow to loose the arrow in question.

"Holy John Hancock!" Flash would say.


Anonymous said...

They don't really show the dry-ice arrow, but having played with the stuff many times, I can say that there isn't enough dry ice in an arrowhead to create fog to befuddle an ant, let alone an arch-villain. What it would do, though, is hurt like hell, more than the baseline, to get shot by a dry-ice arrow.

The true befuddler for me is the balloon arrow. I can only guess that it would be used to perform emergency angioplasty from the distance of a football field.

Anonymous said...

And this demonstrates rather strongly why I prefer the Green Arrow of "Longbow Hunters" rather than the earlier, goofier, version. A scene from the first "Longbow Hunters" has Green Arrow sitting at his desk, working on new arrows, while beside him is a trashcan full of goofy arrows, the most noticeable being the boxing-glove arrow.