Tuesday, September 16, 2014

Sean's Cheek Forking

From the late 80s onward, though with diminishing frequency in the 21st century, I've whiled away idle moments conjuring up Minions of C.H.A.O.S. and Paladins of O.R.D.E.R., some of which have made appearances on this blog. One such miscreant is the evil Cheek Forker, a minion whose only super-power (such as it is) is to painfully jab the fork he carries into the hapless cheeks of Paladins of O.R.D.E.R., or, failing that, innocent bystanders. As threats go, Cheek Forker falls into the z-list "troublesome annoyances" category - at least in the world of metahuman fiction. In real life, getting forked in the cheek can be quite painful, as my brother discovered last month when he absent-mindedly forgot about a fork he'd put prongs-up in his shirt pocket; when he looked down, he impaled his cheek on the fork.

When Sean told me about this, I asked him to re-enact the event, and he complied, though by this point you think he'd know better. Sylvia, as usual, wondered what in the world I was on about when I gleefully related the tale.


3 comments:

"Sub Jeffosa" said...

I am powerfully curious: just where does Sylvia fit in the ORDER vs CHAOS universe? I know you have friends, family, and even (ahem) some previous female companions in there. Cattle, sharpshooters, farm vegetables, nipples, scientists, rakes, mobsters, disembodied brains, baseball players, meat, dolts, sneerers, bottles, nurses, shifty-grippos, whips, nerds, musclemen, footwear, capes, the undead, staples, and even a girl who when she gets undressed has the potential to wipe out the universe as we know it, yes all of that and more by far... but how about your wife?

Earl J. Woods said...

A valid comment, but I don't think I've created any new Paladins or Minions since meeting Sylvia. And frankly, I'm sort of scared to base one on her for fear of her reaction...

"Sub Jeffosa" (a) said...

Well, if you wrote Sylvia in, she'd have to benefit from your top tier of creativity and expression.

You know I've been reading a lot of Joseph Campbell: if we were to apply Sylvia to the monomyth, she'd be the deeply mysterious and powerful female figure that enables the hero to achieve his quest and unlocks hitherto unseen powers within him. I figure Sylvia would appreciate that, but you know her much better than I do.