Thursday, September 11, 2014


A few days ago I watched all four Underworld films back-to-back, an act of cinematic masochism made bearable by precisely two elements: Kate Beckinsale in a skintight leather catsuit and one amusing moment in the prequel film, Underworld: Rise of the Lycans, in which 14th-century werewolves struggle against the tyranny of their vampire masters.

During the film's second act, the werewolves, assisted by a sympathetic vampire who falls in love with the werewolf leader, escape from the vampire castle. They make camp in the woods, awaiting their rendezvous with the female vampire lead. The swarthy werewolf hero awaits his moon-crossed lover patiently, but his pack is restless. One approaches and suggests that perhaps the vampire isn't coming, or even worse, that she might not really be on their side after all and could be leading the other vampires right to the werewolves.

The werewolf leader takes umbrage at this, slamming his tribesman into a tree and growling his assurances that his vampire love would never betray them, she's coming, and the pack will wait. The werewolf leader stalks off in a huff, leaving his underling shaken.

And then, from offscreen, a moment that made me laugh out loud:

"I told you you shouldn't have said anything!"

That laugh wasn't worth eight hours of my time.


Totty said...

I'm of a similar, though less negative but also less comprehensive, opinion.

I saw the first two in the theatres and wasn't willing to pay to see the third. I might have caught it on the movie channels. And I only caught a part of the 4th and it's only interest for me was that the "super lycan" (maybe that was in the 3rd?) was played by the same guy who plays the werewolf in "Lost Girl" -- he's totally typecast. And I know how you loved "Lost Girl"

Totty said...

Apparently it was the 4th (or 5th if you count the direct to video).

That direct to video release means you still have one left to watch -- mwuahahahahahaha!

Earl J. Woods said...

What??? Noooooooooooooooo...