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Monday, June 15, 2015

Scenes from un film de Earl J. Woods

INT. HIDEOUT, NIGHT. MARK, SVEN, LIEPOLD and GREGOR are planning a robbery. SVEN has brought their masks.

SVEN: I've brought our masks. Try them on!

MARK: Good work, Sven. With these masks, no one will know who we are. We'll get away clean.

The men put on the masks. There is a BEAT as they regard each other. SVEN has decorated each mask with a painterly, very accurate representation of each of the men. 

MARK: Sven...Sven, why did you paint our faces on the masks?

SVEN: I thought it would look nice.

MARK: You fool! You've entirely defeated the sole purpose of the masks!

GREGOR (timidly): I have an idea.

MARK: What?

GREGOR: Well...what if we switched masks? So that we were wearing each other's faces?

MARK holds his hands over his masked face.


INT. HOSPITAL DELIVERY ROOM. A mother sobs as she gives birth. Nurses look on in awe as the doctor lifts the crying baby, holding him upside-down.

INFANT: At last - I'm free!


EXT. CATTLE FARM, MIDDDAY. A YOUNG MOTHER and her SON are walking together near some cows; the boy points to a large pink cube lying on the grass.

SON: What's that?

MOTHER: It's a salt lick?

SON: A salt lick? What's that?

MOTHER: It's for the cows. They lick it.

The boy immediately kneels and takes a long lick.

MOTHER: Don't lick it!

SON: Ewwww! It's so salty!


EXT. CONSTRUCTION SITE, the high steel, where WORKERS are assembling the frame of a new skyscraper.

WORKER: Where did I put that bucket of bolts?

WORKER 2: Look out below!

The bucket of bolts has been accidentally kicked off a beam. It seems to float gently down to earth, until crashing into the centre of an ice cream vendor's cart. Bolts and Popsicles fly like shrapnel; a Fudgsicle flies right into the mouth of a screaming bystander. A bolt plugs itself into the navel of a burly shirtless man. 

WITNESS: (pointing at the man who has a Fudgsicle crammed into his mouth): Ice cream!


(he screams)

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