Monday, August 31, 2015

Enter the Nunja

In a fit of boredom I babbled on Facebook for a while about a new series of films based on a nun who is also a ninja - or a Nunja. Recreated for posterity and for those readers who aren't my Facebook friends...
There should be a movie in which a nun becomes a ninja. It would be called Enter the Nunja, and she would say "Get thee to a nunnery" after smiting her foes.
In my imaginary movie Enter the Nunja, the nunja's identity will be hidden from the audience until the film's coda. Kindly Irish priest Father O'Flannery suspects one of his three top nuns, but in the end it turns out to be the newest convert, a wholesome young woman who seems mild and meek in manner, but possesses a powerfully righteous fury.
In Nunja vs. Ninjas, the first sequel to Enter the Nunja, Sister Beatrice must once more don the garb of the Nunja when the orphanage is threatened by soulless robber barons who have hired evil ninjas to intimidate the church's fundraising efforts. Meanwhile Father O'Flannery is completely baffled by his inability to discover the Nunja's secret identity.
In the third Nunja movie, Nunja III: Deadly Communion, Sister Beatrice once again goes into action as the Nunja when evil condo developers plan a devilish attack on Father O'Flannery's church, hoping to buy the land for luxury condominiums once the father and his flock are out of the way. Naturally the Nunja smites the bad guys with a divinely inspired smackdown. 
In the fourth Nunja movie, Nunja Revelations, Father O'Flannery finally discovers that Sister Beatrice is the Nunja! However, he doesn't tell Sister Beatrice that he knows, and becomes a silent but supportive ally in the Nunja's cause. This film also introduces the Antagagnostic, the Nunja's most fearsome foe!
 In the Facebook comments Sean noted that the Nunja should use - naturally - NUNchuks. I was very annoyed that I didn't think of that myself. 

1 comment:

Stephen Fitzpatrick said...

Cool stuff, especially the Antaganostic; best name ever!

Mike Baron trod similar ground in the Badger, except that fightin' nun was not a ninja, but was a transsexual ex-Nazi...