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Friday, April 23, 2021

A Visit from the Legion of Super-Heroes

 Last night's dream: 

Sylvia and I are at the kitchen table, discussing taxes. Suddenly, several members of the Legion of Super-Heroes come in through the back door: Superboy, Mon-El, Shrinking Violet, Shadow Lass, and Colossal Boy. I'm shocked into awed silence while Sylvia reacts with annoyance: "Excuse me, you can't just walk in here without an invitation!" she says. 

"Sorry miss, we're on an urgent mission into the past!" Mon-El says. 

"Space pirates from my homeworld of Imsk have a plan to change history!" Shrinking Violet says. 

"They're somewhere in this area!" Shadow Lass says. 

Sylvia looks skeptical and doesn't appreciate the skintight nature of the girls' costumes. But before anyone else can say anything, a spaceship about two feet long zips in through the open back door, firing multicolored rays at the Legionnaires. 

"Kryptonite--I-I'm blacking out!" gasps Superboy as he's felled. 

"Lead--my only weakness!" cries Mon-El. 

"Stun rays--knocking us senseless!" wails Shadow Lass as she and Shrinking Violet fall. 

Only Colossal Boy managed to dodge the assault, and he grabs the spaceship in both hands. 

"This'll put the fear of God into 'em!" he shouts, ripping off the nose cone of the ship as if uncorking a wine bottle. Then, he holds the ship nose-down over our sink, and somewhere in the neighbourhood of twelve to fifteen three-inch-tall space pirates go down the drain, shouting and screaming. Tossing the empty ship aside, Colossal boy then turns on the garburator and the tap, grinding the pirates into bloody paste and washing away the gruesome remains. 

A weakened Superboy reacts with horror: "Colossal Boy--no! The Legion code against killing..." 

"...You've broken it!" Shrinking Violet concludes. "You'll be expelled from the Legion!" 

"Please get out of my house," Sylvia says. And I wake up laughing. 

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