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Monday, January 07, 2013

Defender of the Federation

O'BRIEN: Think of it as a combination of Ender's Game and The Last Starfighter, sir. 

SISKO: I'm afraid I don't get the reference, Chief. 

O'BRIEN: Forgive me - twentieth century trivia, sir. At any rate, the concept is simple. Our pilots will operate robot starships remotely, from this console. We can engage the Dominion fleet at no risk to ourselves.

BASHIR: Ingenious!  

SISKO: Hmmm. 

WORF: I disapprove. It is not...honourable.

KIRA: If it's a choice between dishonour and death, I'll take death.

WORF: Death before dishonour!

SISKO: All right, all right. Care to offer a demonstration, Chief?

O'BRIEN: After you, sir. Remote starship operations are pretty basic. This manual steering column moves the ship back and forth on the viewscreen. This button provides thrust, this button fires phasers, and this one launches a spherical burst of quantum torpedoes that will wipe out anything within the limits of your viewscreen. We call it a smart bomb.

SISKO: I'm ready. Aha, I see Dominion ships on the radar. They're kidnapping humanoids!

KIRA: You've got to do something, sir!

SISKO: Fire! Fire!

BASHIR: Can you beam them aboard the remote ship?

O'BRIEN: No. But if the captain moves his ship in close, perhaps the humanoids can grab on.

SISKO: It's working!

WORF: There are too many of them! Jump to hyperspace!

(The all look at WORF.)

WORF: I mean, go to warp speed.

KIRA: Wave one complete!

SISKO: Fire! Fire! Smart bomb! Arrgghh, I've lost my last ship!

O'BRIEN: Well done, sir. High score!

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