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Friday, January 24, 2025

Vivisection 31

Star Trek: Section 31 (Olatunde Osunsanmi, 2025) is the first direct-to-streaming Star Trek feature film. It also has the distinction of being the worst Star Trek feature film of any kind. 

Based on Section 31, the shadowy spy organization first seen in season six of Star Trek: Deep Space Nine, this new film pulls Section 31 from dark corners and into the spotlight, thereby subverting and missing the point of the original DS9 episodes featuring 31. Rather than asking questions with some nuance and ambiguity about moral actions in times of war, Section 31 (the film) tries to turn one of Star Trek’s most despicable villains into a hero while replacing spy intrigue with fight scenes and explosions. 

Mission Briefing

Control speaking. You are directed to watch a very special episode of Mission: Impossible reskinned in Star Trek: Discovery and Suicide Squad (the worse one) garb. Believe in the extremely plausible redemption arc of Emperor Philippa Georgiou (Michelle Yeoh), admitted genocidal cannibal and torturer from the Mirror Universe! Watch her team up with a ragtag assortment of unlikeable Section 31 agents to chase a McGuffin before it wrecks the galaxy! Revel where no Star Trek story has revelled before! Revel, I say! 

Well, in the words of another Control before me, “That’s why it’s called Mission: Impossible, not Mission: Difficult.” 

Dark Origins

Originally developed as a new Star Trek series, Section 31 was whittled down into a single film presumably because Michelle Yeoh became way too busy (and expensive) to commit to a series in the wake of her escalating popularity rising from Everything Everywhere All at Once. This turn of events is a blessing, leaving us with just a couple of hours of agony instead of several seasons’ worth of pain. 

13 Things Wrong with Section 31

Cinematography. The camera can’t sit still, transitioning from snap-zoom to snap-pan to shaky-cam to torturously elaborate spins and swoops that distract from the story telling. 

Editing. The hyperkinetic editing brings to mind the excesses of later Bourne movies; it’s distracting and fails to capture the stunt work of the fight scenes, rendering them impotent. 

Plot. In a remote corner of the galaxy, outside Federation space, someone has a doomsday device and it’s up to our heroes to get it out of the hands of the bad guys. Absolutely by-the-numbers with not a single interesting take on a very old trope. 

Dialogue. The dialogue is filled with painful catchphrases stolen from 21st century sitcoms and action movies, ruining our immersion in what’s supposed to be the far future while annoying us at the same time. None of the cheap laughs land at all.

Characters. Aside from Emperor Georgiou, who benefits from the character development she enjoyed on Star Trek: Discovery, none of our protagonists exist as other than as science fiction tropes decades old. There’s a sexy vamp, a grizzled combat veteran (with a thrown-in backstory established strictly in dialogue to tie the story back to better movies and shows), the comic relief, a shapeshifter, the Starfleet officer pressed into Section 31 service because she somehow messed up (never explained), and a guy in a really janky-looking mech suit. 

Cheap laughs and cultural insensitivity. Two of the characters have exaggerated Irish (?) accents because ha ha, accents are funny and just add to the quirkiness of this lovable bunch. You’d think we’d have outgrown this kind of humour by now, but no. 

Direction. There’s no tension in any of this. There are foot, hovercar, and spaceship chases without any zing or real stakes. Also, the actors are either explicitly told to ham it up or the director just can’t control them. Half of these performances are so over the top you want to throw things at the main viewscreen. Er. The TV, I mean. The other performances are TOO understated. And finally, an unforgiveable sin outside of parody: the protagonists walk toward the camera in slow motion to show how badass they are. At least there wasn’t an explosion blooming behind them. 

Twist. There’s a twist. This isn’t a spoiler, because you’ll see it coming from a mile away. Actually there are two twists. You’ll  see both of them coming from two miles away. Each twist is explained with exposition and flashbacks to be sure you understand each twist. 

Music. The music, even though created by the talented Jeff Russo, is bland as bland can be, especially for an action film. 

Phasing. Remember that episode of TNG where LaForge and Ro are out of phase with the rest of the people on the Enterprise, and yet they don’t fall through the floor? Section 31 makes the same mistake and compounds it by having a character get stuck while passing through a wall without the wall exploding or their foot being severed at the ankle. 

Most embarrassing surprise cameo ever. Oh boy, I would have loved this for this person if it had been any other Star Trek project. Alas. 

Extreme stakes. Far too often in modern Star Trek the heroes face galaxy- or even universe-threatening disasters, and Section 31 does the same. NOT EVERY STORE CAN HAVE STAKES THIS HIGH. The impact is utterly lost. 

And most importantly and most damning of all: Why is this even a Section 31 story? The way this tale is structured, it could just as easily been the crew of the USS Cerritos taking on this mission. Or the folks from DS9. Or maybe a pack of Klingon warriors. Any of these would have worked just as well as Section 31, because there’s no spycraft in this story! There’s no skullduggery! No questions of morality or ethics are ever raised, aside from one character’s note that “I’m here to make sure no one gets murdered.” This film is about Section 31, but aside from the limited participation of Control—the mission commander—this story has none of the essential trappings of the organization it’s purportedly about, nor does it touch any of the original themes raised in DS9 in any meaningful way. It’s “rule of cool” taken to ridiculous extremes, except none of it is cool.  

Stories I Enjoyed More Than Section 31

Every other Star Trek film. Yes, including Star Trek V: The Final Frontier, Star Trek: Nemesis, and Star Trek Into Darkness

“The Alternative Factor”

“And the Children Shall Lead”

“The Way to Eden”

“Turnabout Intruder”

“Shades of Gray”

“Endgame”

“These Are the Voyages”

Season two of Star Trek: Picard

At least these episodes and movies, as flawed as they are, were made with a level of professionalism and pride that eclipses the laziness and cynicism on display in Section 31. Every example named above tried to be about something--or at the very least was brought low by production difficulties. Section 31 has no such excuse. 

I would also rather rewatch

  • Any Transformers film
  • Artemis Fowl
  • The Blind Side
  • Attack of the Clones
  • The Rise of Skywalker

Well…maybe not that last one. But boy is it close. 


Thursday, January 23, 2025

Shrieking Dale Arden


"WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TO MY HANDS?!" 

Sorry, Dale. At least the rest of you looks decent enough. 

Wednesday, January 22, 2025

Dr Cyclops

This is one of my favourite pulp minis. I love the retro mad scientist vibe, masked behind a radiation suit and wielding a futuristic ray gun. 

As another Doctor Cyclops (below) said, "Now you really can call me Doctor Cyclops...because I have one good eye." 


Tuesday, January 21, 2025

Joey the Trainer

"Ya gotta hit him from the left, ya lousy bum! Are you throwing this fight on purpose? You better be, because if this performance is really the best you can do I'll make you start sparring with my gramma! She'll teach you a thing or two, you lazy louse!" 
 

Monday, January 20, 2025

The Ref

"Okay boys, remember: I want a dirty fight. No hitting above the belt, no one goes to their corner until one of you is unconscious." 
 

Sunday, January 19, 2025

Buddy Flynn

Boxing manager. Tough, but a good soul. Relatively speaking. 
 

Saturday, January 18, 2025

Bucky the Kid

Wuxtry! Wuxtry! Gun moll turns on Scruffy Doyle! Doyle faces the chair! Read all about it! 
 

Friday, January 17, 2025

Commando Cody

AKA Rocket Man, etc. A key figure of the old movie serials. "Let's see, I wanna go up, and I wanna go fast. HEEEYYYYY YOOOOOOOO . . ." 


Thursday, January 16, 2025

In Dreams, He Walks: David Lynch, 1946-2025


When you exclude family and friends from the equation, my approach to life is upheld by three great pillars: Superman's altruism, Star Trek's optimism, and David Lynch's surrealism. And as much as I adore Superman and Star Trek, it is the works of David Lynch that bring me closest to understanding--or at least appreciating--the great mysteries of existence. 

My first exposure to Lynch was The Elephant Man, followed a few years later by Blue Velvet--both incredible films that pitted cruelty against compassion, a common theme in Lynch's work. 

But it was Twin Peaks that captured me, heart and soul, way back in 1990. I saw in Dale Cooper, Deputy Andy, Deputy Hawk, and Sheriff Truman the kind of men I aspired to be. I saw in Bob my terrible weaknesses and darkest thoughts. And in the world Lynch built, one of awe and mystery, compelling and unknowable, wondrous and terrifying, I saw the landscapes of my dreams. 

Much of Lynch's work is rife with violence and misery of the harshest kind in settings that seem rational on the surface, but hide corruption and malignancy. Thankfully, the evil in his worlds is matched by figures of great kindness, integrity, and valour, and forces of light that help in the limited ways they can.  

Lynch's heroes often fail, Dale Cooper chief among them; as revealed in The Return, his saviour complex ultimately dooms him, along with poor Laura Palmer, "saving" her from her true salvation to the forces of light in Twin Peaks: Fire Walk with Me

Or that's one interpretation. Lynch's work is full of delicious ambiguity; it demands our full attention and cries out to be re-watched for new meaning. Despite that ambiguity, though, I believe a couple of themes shine through his body of work. 

First, David Lynch loved people and felt deeply about the cost of human suffering. Second, David found amazing beauty in the universe, even if that beauty was contrasted with terror; perhaps he felt one was necessary for the other. And third, to paraphrase Stephen King, I think David Lynch suspected there are other worlds than these. I hope he's exploring them now and creating new art. 

For these reasons and so many others, I felt a deep connection with David Lynch--though I'd never met him, and never will, except in dreams

Thank you, David, for the gift of your art, in all its baffling and wondrous forms. Rest in mystery. 

Wednesday, January 15, 2025

Callous Captor

"I try to treat my guests with compassion and respect. I try to give them dignity. But the Master makes me wear this awful red hood and carry around these shackles. And he won't let me wear a shirt, because he says my muscles intimidate the prisoners. I mean, guests.

"They call me Callous Captor. I'm your host, and this is Dungeon Break." 
 

Monday, January 13, 2025

Captain Marvel


Here's the Big Red Cheese himself, Captain Marvel. I'm mostly happy with this except for the amount of red wash I used--a bit too much. 
 

Sunday, January 12, 2025

Weaponless Tong Warriors



I painted the weapons for these guys months ago, but I haven't looked for them yet. So now they just make threatening gestures. 
 

Saturday, January 11, 2025

Mexican Federales




I love the last guy's dead-eyed stare. Horrifying, like the violence implied. 
 

Thursday, January 09, 2025

General Fierro

I wonder if one really could fight effectively, in pitched battle, wielding a melee weapon in one hand and a pistol in the other. I suppose many soldiers have. 
 

Monday, January 06, 2025

Dale Arden

Dale's ready to bring peace and freedom to planet Mongo!
 

Saturday, January 04, 2025

Ravenhawk


The mysterious, ebon-clad Ravenhawk! Is he friend or foe? An ally to Flash Gordon and Dale Arden, or a Hawkman traitor? 
 

Friday, January 03, 2025

Flash Gordon Dismounted from a Hawkman Rocket Cycle

To facilitate transitions in gameplay, I painted Flash in the same colours I used for his rocketcycle model. 
 

Thursday, January 02, 2025

Flash Gordon Approaching on a Hawkman Rocketcyle


I painted this model inspired by colours used by Alex Raymond in the Flash Gordon comic strips of the 1930s and 1940s and by images seen in the 1980 film adaptation. 
 

Tuesday, December 31, 2024

There Will Be Time (to Read): Books I Read in 2024

Two years running! 

For the second year in a row, I've read 100 books in 12 months. That number used to be what I considered a minimum annual number for me, but as chronicled here at The Earliad, my speed and focus have diminished somewhat with the growing responsibilities and waning capabilities of middle age. Maybe I'm rebuilding to what used to be my old normal? 

OVERVIEW

In 2024, I read

  • 83 works of fiction and 17 works of non-fiction
  • 52 science fiction novels, 15 Star Trek media tie-ins, 11 mainstream, three horror, and two fantasy
  • 33 books by women and 67 books by men
  • 28 books from the 2020s, 18 from the 2010s, 18 from the 2000s, 13 from the 1990s, six from the 1980s, eight from the 1970s, 4 from the 1960s, 3 from the 1950s, and one each from the 1940s and 1890s. 
  • Eight books by Hugh Howey, six by Catherine Asaro, four by Stephen Baxter, and three each from Robert Silverberg, Jo Walton, and Connie Willis
   COMMENTARY AND ANALYSIS

Of the books I read this year, 30 were re-reads from authors including Jo Walton, Connie Willis, Stephen King, Robert Heinlein, Patricia Highsmith, Stephen Baxter, Les Daniels, Isaac Asimov, and others. 

I also revisited several works by Catherine Asaro while at the same time reading her newest novels for the first time. Prior to this year I hadn't read her first novel, Primary Inversion, since it was released as a mass market paperback in 1995. I was still in my 20s! The horror. I found myself surprised by how much plot is crammed into Primary Inversion; I could have sworn at least a couple of its major events occurred in later books of the Skolian Empire series. 

Speaking of the 1990s, I picked up B.F. Skinner's Walden Two at the Wee Book Inn sometime during that decade. It sat on a shelf until Skinner's name came up in the infamous orientation film featured in the season two premiere of Lost. Having read only the back cover to that point, I figured I'd read the book to see if there were any clues to what might be going on in the world of the show. Unfortunately, Skinner's prose is incredibly dry, so I put the book aside until, well, this year. Walden Two is really more manifesto than novel, and reads like a professor's self-assured polemic against the status quo as it was back in the 1940s. His solution, which in hindsight absolutely informed the Dharma Initiative backstory for Lost, was utopian social engineering, a method for creating self-sufficient communes free of want and violence. 

Walden Two was something of a curiosity for me this year, so I'll turn to the books that really impressed me (for good or ill) in 2024: 

  • The Ministry for the Future, Kim Stanley Robinson, 2020. This near-future SF novel begins with a catastrophic heat wave in India that kills millions and triggers, at last, serious global action on climate change. It's a harrowing read, because Robinson describes an all-too-plausible future of diminishing resources and increasing violence. The titular Ministry is tasked with overseeing a kind of holding action against the collapse of civilization, and he goes into some fascinating detail about the societal changes required to achieve a best-case scenario that, from our perspective today, remains terrifying to contemplate. 
  • System Collapse, Martha Wells, 2023. Another Murderbot tale, yay! 
  • Demon Daughter and Penric and the Bandit, Lois McMaster Bujold, 2023 and 2024. More Penric and Desdemona adventures, yay! 
  • The Road to Roswell, Connie Willis, 2023. A lovely comedic tale of love, aliens, and UFO enthusiasts pratfalling around the deserts of the US southwest. Seems timely in the wake of all the UAP buzz in the news this year. 
  • Shift and Dust by Hugh Howley, 2013. I read Wool, the first of Howley's Silo books, way back in the teens, but only finished the series this year. I really enjoyed Shift, which explains the origins of the mysterious silos, and Dust was a satisfying conclusion, though the series epilogue in the Silo collection left something of a bittersweet taste in my mouth. 
  • Shadrach in the Furnace, Robert Silverberg, 1976. I've been working my way through the Hugo and Nebula nominations for years now, and Robert Silverberg has his share of those nominations, of which I read three in 2024. Shadrach in the Furnace was my favourite, a psychedelic fever dream of body horror, totalitarian dystopia, and state surveillance. 
  • Never Let Me Go, Kzuo Ishiguro, 2005. In science fiction there are several examples of a peculiar trope involving societies that grow clones strictly to harvest their organs to extend the lives of the rich and powerful. Ishiguro weaves a dreadful poignancy into the trope, gently bringing us into the world of several such clones who are conditioned from birth to accept and embrace their fate. It's heartbreaking, as any such inhuman system should be. Inhuman? No. All too depressingly human, and something that could plausibly happen someday...if it hasn't already in some dark corner of the world. 
  • Planet X, Michael Jan Friedman, 1998). Not all media tie-in novels are bad. Planet X is bad. Very bad. Imagine a world in which Marvel's X-Men meet up with Captain Jean-Luc Picard of the USS Enterprise to investigate the sudden appearance of new mutants springing up on a non-aligned world in the Star Trek universe. The original X-Men comics have been rightly identified as a solid vehicle for telling stories about prejudice and othering, and that's the theme Planet X tries to take. It's not an awful idea on its face, but the novel reads like a kid playing with random action figures, mashing them together with sound and fury. 

MONTH-BY-MONTH

January
The Taking of Pelham One Two Three (John Godey, 1973) 
Dawn of Rebellion: The Visual Guide (Pablo Hidalgo and Emily Shkoukani, 2023)
The Ministry for the Future (Kim Stanley Robinson, 2020)  
The Jigsaw Assassin (Catherine Asaro, 2022) 
Double or Nothing (Kim Sherwood, 2023) 
The Lost Worlds of 2001 (Arthur C. Clarke, 1972)
The Turning of the Screw (Henry James, 1898) 
Voyage (Stephen Baxter, 1996) 
System Collapse (Martha Wells, 2023) 
The Zombie Survival Guide (Max Brooks, 2003) 

February
World War Z: An Oral History of the Zombie War (Max Brooks, 2006)  
Demon Daughter (Lois McMaster Bujold, 2023)
There Will Be Time (Poul Anderson, 1972) 
Moonseed (Stephen Baxter, 1998) 
The Star Fox (Poul Anderson, 1965) 
The Spacetime Pool (Catherine Asaro, 2008) 
Life After God (Douglas Coupland, 1994) 
The Road to Roswell (Connie Willis, 2023) 
Superman: The Complete History (Les Daniels, 1998) 
Primary Inversion (Catherine Asaro, 1995) 

March
Turtles All the Way Down (John Green, 2017) 
The Last Hawk (Catherine Asaro, 1997) 
More Than the Sum of His Parts: Collected Stories (Joe Haldeman, 2020) 
Wool (Hugh Howley, 2012) 
Shift (Hugh Howley, 2013)
Dust (Hugh Howley, 2013) 
Silo (Hugh Howley, 2020) 
Girls, Interrupted: How Pop Culture Is Failing Women (Lisa Whittington-Hill, 2024) 
Space (James Michener, 1982) 
Just the Nicest Couple (Mary Kubica, 2023) 

April
Firestarter (Stephen King, 1980)
Walden Two (B.F. Skinner, 1948)
Homecoming (Christie Golden, 2003) 
The Giver (Lois Lowry, 1993)  
Batman: The Complete History (Les Daniels, 1999) 
Flood (Stephen Baxter, 2008) 
The End of the World Is Just the Beginning (Peter Zeihan, 2022) 
The Farther Shore (Christie Golden, 2003) 
The Bicentennial Man and Other Stories (Isaac Asimov, 1976)
Burn (Bill Ransom, 1995) 

May
A Choice of Catastrophes (Michael Schuster and Steve Mollmann, 2011) 
Crisis of Consciousness (Dave Galanter, 2015) 
Savage Trade (Tony Daniel, 2015)
Beacon 23 (Hugh Howley, 2015) 
With a Mind to Kill (Anthony Horowitz, 2022)  
Never Let Me Go (Kazuo Ishiguro, 2005) 
The Downloaded (Robert J. Sawyer, 2024) 
When the Sparrow Falls (Neil Sharpson, 2021) 
Shadrach in the Furnace (Robert Silverberg, 1976) 
The Stochastic Man (Robert Silverberg, 1975) 

June
Thorns (Robert Silverberg, 1967) 
You Like It Darker (Stephen King, 2024) 
Half Way Home (Hugh Howey, 2010) 
Wonder Woman: The Complete History (Les Daniels, 2000) 
Sand (Hugh Howey, 2014)
The Speed of Dark (Elizabeth Moon, 2002) 
Black Fire (Sonni Cooper, 1983) 
Finding Serenity (Jane Espenson, 2004) 

July
Across the Sand (Hugh Howey, 2022)
Foundation’s Triumph (David Brin, 1999) 
Ark (Stephen Baxter, 2009)
Planet X (Michael Jan Friedman, 1998)
Mr. Scott’s Guide to the Enterprise (Shane Johnson, 1987) 
The Three-Minute Universe (Barbara Paul, 1988) 
No Time Like the Past (Greg Cox, 2014) 

August
Penric and the Bandit (Lois McMaster Bujold, 2024) 
The Incident Report (Martha Baillie, 2009) 
Nuclear War: A Scenario (Annie Jacobson, 2024) 
Godzilla and Godzilla Raids Again (Shiguru Kayama, 1955) 
The Man Who Saw Seconds (Alexander Boldizar, 2024)
Serpents in the Garden (Jeff Mariotte, 2014)
The Ministry of Time (Kaliane Bradley, 2024) 
The Rings of Time (Greg Cox, 2012) 
The Last Day (Andrew Hunter Murray, 2020)  
S.H.A.D.O. Technical Operations Manual (Chris Thompson and Andrew Clements, 2022)

September
The Twin Paradox (Charles Wachter, 2020) 
The Down Deep (Catherine Asaro, 2024) 
Report from Planet Midnight (Nalo Hopkinson, 2012) 
The Talented Mr. Ripley (Patricia Highsmith, 1955) 

October
Humans: An A to Z (Matt Haig, 2014) 
Pawns and Symbols (Majliss Larson, 1985)
What Entropy Means to Me (George Alec Effinger, 1972) 
Cast No Shadow (James Swallow, 2011) 
Half Past Human (TJ Bass, 1971) 
Here (Richard McGuire, 2014) 

November
Tunnel in the Sky (Robert Heinlein, 1955) 
The Hollow Man (Dan Simmons, 1992) 
Farthing (Jo Walton, 2006) 
Ha’penny (Jo Walton, 2007) 
Jane: The Woman Who Loved Tarzan (Robin Maxwell, 2012) 
The Time Traveler’s Wife (Audrey Niffenegger, 2003) 
Half a Crown (Jo Walton, 2008) 

December
Miracle and Other Christmas Stories (Connie Willis, 1999)
The Art of the Amazing Spider-Man (John Romita and Stan Lee, 2024) 
Fantastic Four: Full Circle Expanded Edition (Alex Ross, 2024) 
Time Tunnel (Murray Leinster, 1964) 
DC Comics Style Guide (Paul Levitz, 2024) 
The Wailing Asteroid (Murray Leinster, 1960) 
The Dead Hand: The Untold Story of the Cold War Arms Race and Its Dangerous Legacy (David E. Hoffman, 2009) 
The Life Impossible (Matt Haig, 2024) 

And finally, here are Bruce and Leslie's stats for 2024! 

That's it for 2024. Happy New Year, all. Keep fighting the good fight.