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Thursday, November 07, 2024

Jungle Chimp

One of my better simians. I fixed the yellow bit atop his head after seeing the close-up photo. 
 

Wednesday, November 06, 2024

Watch the Dynamite Lady Blow Herself Apart

Many years ago, I remember laughing at a commercial for a monster truck show. The highlight was when the announcer screamed "Watch the Dynamite Lady BLOW HERSELF APART!" 

Feels like the Dynamite Lady really blew herself apart today. That I painted this miniature a few days ago is an odd coincidence or an unfortunate portent. You decide. 
 

Monday, November 04, 2024

Visitor Trio

We three visitors from afar
Come to leave the Earth clad in scars
Water stealing, humans eating
We're green lizards in disguise

Oh, oh
Ship so massive
Ship of might
Ship to set your towns alight
Burning pyre civ's on fire
Humanity's endless night

NOT ANOTHER TIME LOOP! DRONETROOPERS TO THE RESCUE!


Friday, November 01, 2024

You're a Wizard!

Steve and I traded some miniatures, and I painted this one in earth tones. Looks decent, I'd say. 
 

Thursday, October 31, 2024

The Creature vs the Invisible Man

SAVAGE GILL-MAN STRIKES AGAIN
4 DEAD IN EVERGLADES MASSACRE


Florida City--Four are dead in the wake of the latest attack of the so-called "Gill-Man." Names of the victims have not yet been released pending the notification of their loved ones.

The four were killed by the Gill-Man while sunbathing at Pelican Cay yesterday afternoon. None of the victims knew each other, according to eyewitness accounts.

"It came out of the swamp like a thing from hell itself," said Maribel Frost, a vacationer. "I recognized the awful thing from the newsreels. Those eyes! The claws! It tore through those people something terrible. Just sliced them up for no reason at all."

Citizens of south Florida are calling for more action from the authorities. Chief of Police Hayrock Tamshill says his department has called in a "special expert" to assess the situation, but refused to comment further . . .



"You're sure you know what you're doing?" asked the police chief. He had a hard time looking at the strange little man next to him, who must have been sweltering in his long overcoat and black fedora. The sun beat down mercilessly on the asphalt.

Jack Griffin tittered behind the bandages wrapped around his head. "Why am I here again?" he asked, his voice half-muted by the thick cloth.

Tamshill cocked his head down at Griffin. "The brass up at Miskatonic said you had the talent and the moxie to take care of the Gill-Man. You don't remember?"

Griffin clapped his bandaged hands together. "Ah! The creature from the black lagoon, yes! Gill Man, Gill Man, pray thee take a pill, man! Ha ha! Wondrous, yes. Take care of my things, will you?"

With that, Jack Griffin tossed his hat to the ground and shrugged out of his overcoat. Piece by piece, he removed his clothing: vest, shirt, slacks, shoes. Beneath these accoutrements his entire form was wrapped tight in those same white bandages; a pair of dark glasses covered his eyes.

Tamshill asked no questions. He'd learned it was best to stay quiet and obey orders when strangers came down from Miskatonic. If they thought this eccentric little man could rid Florida of the creature, he wouldn't argue.

But when Griffin handed over his glasses, Tamshill gasped involuntarily, staggering backward and nearly losing his balance. For where Griffin's eyes should have been there was only darkness.

Griffin tittered again.

"Look into a man's eyes and see his soul!" Griffin said. He reached behind his head and began unwrapping the bandages.

Griffin had no head! Tamshill took another step back. As lengths of cloth coiled on the road, more and more of Griffin's essential nothingness was revealed. He had no visible form at all, as if his clothes had been placed on a mannequin of perfect glass, glass so fine it reflected not, refracted naught.

"I'm the invisible man!" cried the nothingness where Griffin had once stood. "I'm the invisible man! Incredible how you can see right through me!"

There was a splash. Tamshill snapped his gaze in the direction of the sound, and saw ripples in the swamp water--ripples with no observable cause. After a moment, some air bubbles percolated to the surface; they popped silently, and then the water was still.

Tamshill sat cross-legged on the edge of the road. He'd been told to watch. So watch he would.

Gradually, the sun sank over his left shoulder, casting longer and longer shadows. Soon it was just Tamshill and the darkness and the silence; not even the insects were stirring.

Even at night, the heat was oppressive. There was no escape from it, so Tamshill stewed in his own sweat, his uniform sticky and cloying.

He fell into a fitful sleep, his head hanging down against his chest. He dreamed that his eyes were gone, but he could somehow see the empty sockets when he looked at his face in a mirror. His wife saw this and wailed, her body stiffening and then transforming into water, which held her form for a second and then crashed to the bathroom floor, washing down an air vent that was for some reason covered in moss.

Tepid water splashed him in the face, and Tamshill woke to horror.

The Gill-Man stood before him, shrieking in uncanny rage and pain. The monster's green skin had turned translucent; Tamshill could see thing thing's internal workings. Massive emerald lungs, a thick, dark, five-lobed heart, and a yellowish sac that was the stomach...which as now, too, turning invisible to reveal the half-digested parts of a human figure, a man--a man with a face frozen in terror, with bulging eyes, the freshly dead--

Griffin. The Gill-Man had eaten Griffin.

Tamshill couldn't move; he was frozen in the early morning heat, eyes agape as the Gill-Man stomped and thrashed and clawed at it's own head. Something in Griffin's body must have infected the Gill-Man not only with his invisibility, but his madness.

Was that Miskatonic's plan all along? Suddenly Tamshill knew it was so. But why? Why transform an already dangerous creature into something insane and unseen? There could be no hunting the Gill-Man now. It wouldn't be long before the Gill-Man was not merely transparent, but as utterly invisible as Griffin had been.

Tamshill drew his revolver. The Gill-Man had shrugged off bullets before, but there was nothing else he could do. Maybe he'd get lucky. He held his pistol in both hands, still cross-legged, aiming at the monster's left eye. Shooting at the creature's centre mass was futile; perhaps even the eyes were tougher than lead.

Tamshill fired. The bullet sang as it ricocheted off the monster's scaly skull. The creature roared even as it faded away to complete invisibility. Tamshill might get one more shot. He fired at where the monster had been. The bullet chased the horizon.

Tamshill scrambled to his feet. His only chance now was to dash for his cruiser, parked about a half-mile away where the road curved sharply from east to south.

The sun was rising in the east. At least he'd seen it one last time. One last caress from the divine before one last caress from the demon.

He could hear the Gill-Man's webbed feet slapping against the road in pursuit. He was only a few feet behind. No way could Tamshill dive into the cruiser before he was caught.

Sweat clouded Tamshill's eyes, stinging them, blurring his vision. He saw two lights suddenly hove into view behind the cruiser. A large vehicle--a moving van--

Tamshill realized he was running down the middle of the road. He dove aside with a scream.

There was a wet thump behind him as the van slammed into something. It careened off the road, burying its cabin in the swamp before bursting into flames.

Tamshill rolled from belly to butt, crawling backward toward his cruiser. The Gill-Man's wet footprints ended where the van's skid marks began. The van's engine sputtered and died, and then there was only the sound of crackling flames--suddenly broken by an anguished scream that ended with a bloody gurgle.

Tamshill fled to his cruiser. A moment later, he was gone.

Wednesday, October 30, 2024

Snow Coach



If you want to tour a glacier, see some polar bears, or search for the eldritch artifacts of Cthulhu, you'll need a well-equipped snow coach. 
 

Tuesday, October 29, 2024

New Varieties of Kryptonite

Readers of this blog (or readers of Superman comics) will already be familiar with the most common varieties of Kryptonite: green, red, blue, gold, and white. You may even be aware of some of the rarer varieties: orange, silver, jewel, anti-kryptonite, x-kryptonite, periwinkle, pink, and black. But even the imaginative minds behind the DC universe haven't yet exhausted the spectrum, which allows me to speculate on some new varieties . . . 

All of the following effects are temporary (lasting between a few minutes to a few hours) unless otherwise stated. 

Purple K: Causes excruciating pain when a super-powered Kryptonian uses any of their super-powers

Yellow K: Instills cowardice in super-powered Kryptonians. 

Ultraviolet K: Makes super-powered Kryptonians invulnerable to magic, but removes their super-powers. 

Indigo K: Turns the vision of ordinary humans upside-down. No effect on Kryptonians, super-powered or otherwise.

Turquoise K: Gives super-powered Kryptonians alien hand syndrome. 

Bile K: Creates insatiable hunger in Kryptonians, such that they must stop what they're doing and eat gluttonously until the effect wears off. 

Palladium K: Turns super-powered Kryptonians into obnoxious bourgeoisie snobs. 

Reverso-K: If brought into proximity of two super-powered Kryptonians (including animals such as Krypto the Superdog or Beppo the Super-Monkey), switches the consciousnesses of the two. 

Rubber K: Temporarily removes Kryptonian super-powers and replaces them with stretching abilities akin to the Elongated Man, Plastic Man, Elastic Lad, or Madame Rouge. 











 

Monday, October 28, 2024

Bottle and Cappy

You never know what threats you might face in the ruins of post-apocalyptic Nuka World, including deranged robots Bottle and Cappy. From mascots to murderers! 
 

Sunday, October 27, 2024

Around the Sun Once More

Happy Birthday once again to Squishy McMonkey, my wee jellybean. 

Saturday, October 26, 2024

Straight Outta Vault 33



Here's the protagonist of the Fallout TV show, Lucy MacLean. As with many Fallout miniatures, Lucy is covered in tiny, tiny details that I find a real bear to paint. The most I can say is that she looks okay from a distance. 
 

Friday, October 25, 2024

Agatha Plumb

She's plumb determined to keep the varmints from killing her chickens. 
 

Thursday, October 24, 2024

Betrayer of Humanity

Another former citizen of the Twelve Colonies, but this time a nefarious one. 
 

Wednesday, October 23, 2024

Ragtag Fugitive Fleet Leader

For once, a small human figure turns out well. I'm happy with the skin texture, the hair, the costume colours, etc. Huzzah! 
 

Tuesday, October 22, 2024

The Sinister Scheme of Hugo Drax

I found a second Hugo Drax figure, this time complete with hands and blueprint. I think he turned out better than the first
 

Monday, October 21, 2024

An Eye to the Inner Ear

For the last several days, I've been wondering what happens to the three little bones of the inner ear when we die. Sure, the hammer, anvil, and stirrup--or the malles, incus, and stapes--will stay in place for a while as the body decomposes. But when the tissues of the skull dissolve, do the inner ear bones somehow stay attached to the skull? Or do they fall into the gaping cavity of the skull to rattle around unto eternity? If you pick up a human skull and shake it, will you hear the inner ear bones bouncing like dice in a cup? 

I'd like to ask my doctor the next time I see her, but we have a new one and I'm afraid of the impression the question might leave. 
 

Saturday, October 19, 2024

A Head in the Game

I had fun with this one. After painting Leatherface in simple shades of tan and white, I added a severed head to the base and copious blood to the floor, chainsaw, and Leatherface's outfit. Macabre, but it's the season for this sort of thing. 
 

Friday, October 18, 2024

Floria the Courtesan

Face and hair aren`t bad, skin is smoother than usual, corset is okay. Painting the skirt metallic gold was probably a mistake. 
 

Monday, October 14, 2024

Needs Work

Things to fix:

  1. Paint spill on right foot
  2. Paint spill on flask
  3. Skullcap should be brighter
  4. Fix drybrushed buttons
  5. Paint underbite white
  6. Paint spill on skull
  7. Drybrush shoes
  8. Ink pants