Gemini Interprets "My Eyes Bleed Coke"

Many years ago, I wrote the following bad poem: 

My Eyes Bleed Coke

My eyes bleed Coke
My bread doth me choke
My gums fairly smoke
I’m about to croak
Ye are ye who be
Ye who see who ye be
Be ye he who sees the sea
She be the she who kisseth me
Me I am what I wish to be
Until a bottle striketh me
Never a borrower nor lender be
But give a dram of ink to Lee
Lee, he be the Count, you see
He who bites the necks of shes
And makes us think of honeybees
Who swarm and have us on our knees
Sticky ichor down me cheeks
The stale, flat Coke, she surely reeks
Me eyes bled it for many weeks
Accompanied by untold shrieks
Sugar in me humour hurts
Cries of pain my larynx blurts
But still the blood she spurts ‘n spurts
One of Satan’s crueler works
My eyes bleed Coke

I fed it into Gemini's image generator a few weeks ago; you see the result above. 

Alden Gray and the Lady

 

Themes and Nanogenres Mid-Year Check-In

Letterboxd's themes and nanogenres tracking is a fun idea, but it's taking a long time to tag the hundreds of thousands of films on the site. Hence, I'm sure I've seen more than 33 "Moving Relationship Stories" this year. 

I feel kind of accused by "Intense Violence and Sexual Transgression" appearing in my top ten themes. I don't shy away from that sort of thing, but I'm not actively looking either. My affection for the horror genre probably has something to do with it. 
 

Richard XXX

Now is the summer of our discontent
Made inglorious winter by this climate change
And all the clouds that poured upon our houses
Endless rain and thunder's wrath. 
 

Photoshopped Peters' Drive-In

About a decade ago, Sylvia and I stopped at the Peters' Drive-In in Red Deer en route to Calgary. I took a few wide-angle photos of the place. They turned out well enough. But while experimenting with Photoshop, I found I could use prompts to transform the image into something more dynamic than my original. 

And yet it makes me sad. Had I been more serious about photography, I could have achieved this effect myself, in camera. This feels like cheating. 
 

Back Alley Robot Activated

 

Back Alley Robot

 

Earl vs. New York 2140

Despite my wavering ambivalence of Kim Stanley Robinson's work, I continue to read his books.

I purchased New York 2140 from the West Edmonton Mall Chapters in 2017. As with many of Robinson's books, I found my greatest enjoyment in his worldbuilding and theme while struggling to work my way through his baffling characterization and prose. (I will say that this time around some of his characters come close to resembling human beings.) But at last, after nine and a half years, I have finished the book. 

In Robinson's imagined future, the sea level in the vicinity of New York has risen some 50 feet. Its residents have adapted by creating a Venice-like existence, Manhattan's streets now waterways. 

Strangely, aside from the comeback of airships--for travel, shipping, and anchoring floating communities in midair--there's very little mention of technological change in this novel, such as details on adaptive mechanisms for the higher sea levels, resilience measures, computers, transportation, what's going on with space exploration, health care, and so on. Aside from the airships and the sea level change, this book feels like it could have taken place in 1988. 

Robinson's central concern here is economics. The novel is a critique of unfettered capitalism and the harm its done to the world and its people. And by the time we reach the end of this 600 page novel, there's a peaceful revolution wherein the people of the United States and elsewhere in the world force the trillionaires to pay their fair share of society's burdens. 

(So this is a science fiction novel, after all, ha-ha, as Robinson might write.)

There are two action scenes--a midair floating city rescue, and a whopper of a hurricane that precipitates the revolution near the novel's end. Robinson somehow manages to make both of these scenes boring. 

This isn't to say that I don't appreciate the novel. I think its message is important, and the solution the characters find at the novel's climax something we might apply to our current situation. Indeed. I think if I'd read this back before Trump, its impact would have been somewhat lessened. As history has played out in recent years, I find myself thinking that Robinson's prescription might be needed about 120 years earlier than predicted. 
 

A Visit from the Clue Squad

 

Yesterday I read Jennifer Egan's A Visit from the Goon Squad. I devoured this book in a couple of brief sittings, enthralled by the non-linear narrative, the beautifully drawn characters, and the sharp, ironic, empathetic prose. About halfway through, I thought "Wow, this is really good." When I finished, I searched Egan on Wikipedia and discovered this novel won the Pulitzer. 

"Ah, no wonder it was good," I thought. Of course, winning a prize isn't necessarily the best guarantee of quality, but this time, in my estimation, the award was well deserved. 

A Wooden Performance

Mine, not his. 

 

Pirates of the Ottawa River

 

Chopperspotting

"Let me know if I'm coming too close to any power lines," the chopper pilot said. "Or one of the other helicopters." 

I told him I would.

And that's why I'm here today. 


 

Whitemud Flood

Pete, Jeff, Mike, and I enjoyed a hard-fought but ultimate futile battle against the forces of evil in a rousing game of Dark Tower Returns. 

I chose my route home poorly, for tonight's storm flooded the Whitemud, adding an extra 45 minutes to my drive home from Mike's place. 
 

This Pun Is Justified

There they were, on set, near midnight. The day had been wasted. The director, the producer, the writer--all agreed that the day's rushes weren't even looking at.

The star remained quiet, arms crossed, his lips pressed into a thin line, his Stetson tilted at such an angle that his eyes, no doubt blazing, were hidden. He stood in the shadows, listening. 

The crew argued among themselves, trying to spread the blame. The script was unpolished. The direction was pedestrian. The major stunt of the day looked cheap and fake. The catering had spoiled, throwing everyone off. 

In short--they danced around the main issue. 

The man in the Stetson knew the final responsibility came down to him. His pacing had been off, his delivery flat, his timing all wrong. Even his body language was uncharacteristically stiff. 

In the end, a brave and possibly foolish production assistant, all of 21 years old, cleared her throat. 

All eyes--even the ones in shadow--turned to her. 

"Maybe it's not my place, but..." 

She paused. 

"I think we need to start talking about the Olyphant in the room." 

Request Your Special Ballot for the Alberta Referendumb

Elections Alberta is now accepting requests for special ballots for the October 19 Alberta Referendum. Just fill out the online form and they'll mail you a ballot with all ten referendum questions; fill it out, mail it back, and you've done your civic duty. 

Why Is This Important? 
Danielle Smith and the United Conservative Party are subjecting Albertans to a pointless, divisive, misleading, and non-binding referendum. This means that no matter what the results, the Alberta government is under no legal obligation to act on the results of the vote. Given the performance of the UCP government thus far, with its track record of scandals, censorship, pandering to the Trump administration, working to undermine and eventually privatize public institutions, there's every reason to believe that the UCP will simply do what they want and ignore the people--unless of course the vote aligns with UCP values and strategy. 

There are nine blatantly leading questions about immigration and Canadian constitutional matters, all of them dog whistles to cast suspicion and resentment against immigrants and our fellow Canadians in other provinces--but especially the federal government, which happens to be Liberal these days. Surely a coincidence. 

So why vote? Because there's still a slight chance that a massive turnout and a massive vote against the immigration and constitutional questions and a massive vote to remain in Canada will at least give the UCP pause. 

How Should We Vote? 
I can't tell you how to vote, nor can any one else, nor should anyone. But I believe that anyone with common sense, empathy, and a basic understanding of politics should "no" on the first nine questions--not just for the sake of immigrants and marginalized people, which is reason enough, but because voting yes on these issues opens the door to escalating restrictions on personal freedom, loss of privacy, loss of crucial public services, worsening relations with the rest of Canada, and disrespecting the constitutional role of Canada's Indigenous peoples. 

Here's question ten, which of course the UCP has written to obfuscate the issue. Rather than a simple "Should Alberta stay in Canada?" or even "Should Alberta separate from Canada?", we get: 

Should Alberta remain a province of Canada, or should the Government of Alberta commence the legal process required under the Canadian Constitution to hold a binding provincial referendum on whether or not Alberta should separate from Canada?

The available responses are: 

Option 1: Alberta should remain a province of Canada.

Option 2: The Government of Alberta should commence the legal process required under the Canadian Constitution to hold a binding provincial referendum on whether or not Alberta should separate from Canada.

I'll be choosing option one, and I hope at least 85% of Albertans will do the same. Also, note the wording of option two, which explicitly states that the next referendum, unlike this one, would be binding--should Albertans vote for option two (and should we get shunted into a parallel universe where the Clarity Act doesn't exist). 

My prescription: 
"No to the nine, and Option 1 is just fine." Or maybe "No to the nine, one for the ten, and let's not go through this nonsense again." 

Kenneth Branagh's "Love Too Much"

 

In our reality, this is the video for Keane's "Love Too Much." In the reality I visited last night, Kenneth Branagh directed and starred in his own "Love Too Much" video. In Branagh's version, he appears as a dancing vaudeville performer, wearing a bowler hat, suspenders, brown trousers, and a button-up white shirt. He wields a cane, which he uses throughout the video as a prop as he tries to woo a variety of women on a London street circa 1910 or so; there are horses and carriages, street vendors, and shops housed in red brick buildings. 

While he's had a couple of misses in his career (Aremis Fowl, Jack Ryan: Shadow Recruit, I'm looking at you), Branagh remains one of my favourite artists, and the video he created in my dreams last night suited Keane's song perfectly. 

The more I explore Keane's catalogue, the more I love their focus on humanity, decency, our failings and foibles--and our ability to be better. Unless I'm reading their work wrong, Keane seems to lead with empathy with their music, and I love them for it. They gave me a lovely dream last night, when these days they're mostly nightmares. 

Atlantis and Lemuria

 I gave Gemini some simple parameters and asked it to generate the mythical continents of Atlantis (above) and Lemuria (below). 

Saskatchewan, Naturally

Where do you go
To see the grain grow
Saskatchewan, naturally
For the birth of Medicare
I need to go where?
Saskatchewan, naturally
For dark sky views
Where should you choose?
Saskatchewan, naturally
To join the RCMP,
Where should you be?
Saskatchewan, naturally
I need potash galore, 
Where can I find more?
Saskatchewan, naturally
If you only relate
To borders that are straight
Saskatchewan, naturally
When you like to wine and dine
In many hours of sunshine
Saskatchewan, naturally

Yes Saskatchewan has all these things
And many other joys it brings
You might think it's kind of scary 
Because it's flat and endless prairie
But that's Sasatchewan--naturally. 
 

A Ladle Bit of Humour

A few years back Aunt Jean and Uncle John were in Leduc. Here, we see Aunt Jean pretending to drink from the iron ladle that goes with her dad's forge, which now lives in Sean's condo. That imaginary soup must have been very hot indeed...
 

Masters of Their Universe

Masters of the Universe (Travis Knight, 2026) delivered the kind of goofy, unhinged fun I haven't experienced in quite the same way since Flash Gordon (Mike Hodges, 1980). 

Based on the Mattel action figure toys released in 1982, Masters of the Universe tells the story of Adam Glenn (Nicholas Galitzine), who is determined to find the mythical Sword of Power and in doing so save his home dimension, Eternia, from the skullduggery of Skeletor (Jared Leto). 

But fifteen years after arriving on Earth as a child--hidden there to escape Skeletor--Adam hasn't had any luck. Instead, he's grown up, making the best of things by taking an office job in Oklahoma City. He works in Human Resources, and his affable, charming personality makes him a beloved, if eccentric, figure among his colleagues. Adam can't seem to lie, and he speaks earnestly about his quest to anyone who will listen. They think he's either role-playing or insane. But soon enough Eternia comes calling, and Adam's quest moves into high gear. Can mild-mannered HR drone Adam retrieve the Sword of Power and become the kind of hero who defeat Skeletor, his right-hand woman Evil-Lyn (Alison Brie), and their horde of monstrous minions? 

Of course he can, and does. What's important, as ever, lies in how the tale is told. And this time around, the tale is told with tongue planted firmly in cheek. The screenplay is full of clever gags, the action is well-structured, well-executed, and essential to moving the story forward, the actors are clearly having tremendous fun, and the whole thing is so genuine and wholesome that I fell in love with the film about five minutes in and never fell out. 

Some highlights:

• The brilliant origin story of many of the ridiculous character names
• The characterizations of the chief villains, Skeletor and Evil-Lyn, captured in clever dialogue, performance, and special effects--I never once thought of Skeletor as a CGI creation, but always as a full-fledged, delightful villain in the over-the-top style of old serial villains from the 1940s
• Camila Mendes as competent, steel-nerved warrior bestie Teela
  
• Idris Elba as Man-at-Arms, a fallen warrior lost to alcoholism in the wake of Eternia's fall, who reluctantly answers the call to destiny once more
• Two of the most satisfying and delightful post-credits scenes I've seen in quite some time
  

As far as modern takes on old franchises go, I'd put this one right up there with Dungeons & Dragons: Honor Among Thieves.

A movie based on a toy line has no right to be this good. IT HAS THE POWERRRRRR

The Old Ones Return

A few weeks ago I had Gemini try to create a book cover in a style similar to the old Bantam Star Trek tie-ins of the 1970s. "Return of the Old Ones" might have made a better title. 
 

Hulking Mad Barbarian

I am the very model of a hulking mad barbarian
When I don't see pillaging I really get contrarian
When I come for you I wield
A bloody axe and iron shield
Good thing this image isn't real
'Cause I have no desire to steal
 

Pitchers in the Clover

Three wee tykes
In fields at play
They made their pitch for lives ahead
Dreams in clover, dare to tread
Where are they now?
No one can say
Perhaps to dust they have returned
A final rest, well-loved, well-earned
The marks they made in history burned

 

Fanfare for the Unknown Couple

Ba, ba--bum ba ba
Pum pum ba ba bum ba ba
Lum de dum ba pum pum pum
ba, ba--bum ba ba
 

Natufian Rhapsody

15,000 years ago
Hungry Natufians
Mashed grain and water to make dough
For family and friends
Set fire to stone and made it glow
Cooked that dough until those stones
Turned red
Served it up sans cutlery
And called the meal flatbread