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Monday, August 29, 2016


Ridiculous Film Pitch #97a:

In an America that has just elected a fundamentalist Libertarian President and Congress, most laws are stricken from the books - including speed limits. Publicly funded police forces and other first responders, as well as roadworks crews, are no more; virtually all aspects of American civilization fall into private hands.

A billionaire psychopath sees this new world as the perfect opportunity to sate his own mad impulses: he offers one billion dollars to the man, woman or child who wins a race from New York to Los Angeles in any land vehicle they choose - except for actual race cars. The billionaire won't prevent race cars from racing, of course; he just won't pay out the billion if someone driving one wins.

The race starts in New York on the Fourth of July, with hundreds of amateur racers arriving at the starting line. They're driving modern sedans, Model Ts, Hummers, motorcycles, antique convertibles - anything on wheels, from sparkling new to ready to fall apart.

The billionaire fires the starting pistol and the contestants surge forward. Hundreds crash almost immediately; dozens fight for the pole position. The race is conducted on US highways that remain open to normal traffic. There are no rules save one: cross the finish line in Los Angeles first and collect the cash.

Naturally such a race would result in countless deaths and injuries, as well as considerable property damage. But imagine the stunts, the satire, the social commentary. CARnage! It's the most fun you can have behind a steering wheel.

Of course it's derivative of Death Race 2000 and the short-lived television series Drive, but I think the world is ready for the craziest attempt yet to reinvent the subgenre. CARnage! It's a gas. 

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