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Monday, November 10, 2003

Bad Poems Unfit for Human Eyes

Holy Smashamoley! It's been nearly a month since my last update. Perhaps some bad poetry is in order.

lies amongst
the cries
and anguished
sighs of
those who
failed to
snatch the
prize that
only truth
or courage
buys; and
sees that
ichor in
the skies
rains down
to strike
both witless
and wise.

Silly Nelly and the Jelly
Willy-nilly, silly Nelly spread some jelly on her belly
“Ugh,” she said, “this jelly’s smelly,
But I’ll apply it just for Kelly
So he’ll see me on the telly.”

Poor, poor Nelly! Wed to Kelly
Who’s nothing but a boorish bully
From the wrong side of the gully.

Kelly, scheming, spoke with Sully
(Also from that ghetto gully)
“When those smelly proles see Nelly
With that jelly on her belly
Displayed upon erotic telly
They’ll scream for more, and surely, Sully,
We’ll rake in money willy-nilly.”

“A perfect plan,” chortled Sully,
“Our future’s looking bright and sunny
Our eggs well cooked, no longer runny.”

“And as for Nell,” replied foul Kelly,
“She’ll twitch and grind her sexy belly
Turning men’s minds into jelly
Exploiting supple assets fully.”

Meanwhile, Nelly, feeling sorry
For herself and sick with worry
Consoled herself with rice and curry
Her vision clear, no longer blurry.

“Why should I expose my belly
(sexy though it is) for Kelly?
I should see some of that money
And it better not be funny –
Or they’ll find out in a hurry
Worse than Hell is woman’s fury.”

A tragic trio, watch them scurry
Their lives exploding in a flurry
And unless all three are wary
Their dreams and hopes they soon will bury.

The Individualator
Here I sit at head of class
Flopped upon my flabby ass
Eyes sharp-peeled to catch a cheat
And grind their papers into meat

This I do not want to do
It would leave me feeling blue
So I pray with all my might
That these students know what’s right.

I used to drive a truck
Now I drive a desk
I do not need to say
Which I like the best
I don’t know if it’s permanent
I don’t know if I’ll stay
But while I’m on the firmament
I’ll take it day by day.

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