Wednesday, March 21, 2012

Broken Bottle Bloodbath

Today my colleague Stephanie warned Official Opposition staff that only plastic bottles should be deposited in our bottle recycling bin, pointing out that some glass bottles had been improperly put there and shattered.

Stephanie's cautionary note reminded me of a long-ago incident involving the dangers of broken glass bottles.

In 1992, while I was working as an auto parts delivery driver for now-defunct Norwest Automotive, a compatriot - one of the parts men - warned me that our recycling bin contained a broken bottle. He did so by leaning into the bin and pointing at the bottle in question with an outthrust finger, impaling it directly on a shard of razor-sharp glass protruding from the shattered bottleneck. His dialogue:

“Hey Earl, watch out; there’s a broken bottle in hUUARRRTGHHHHHHHH!!!”

He recoiled and blood squirted from his finger all over the bin and surrounding walls. The manager rushed in and shouted,

“What’s going on? It looks like Freddy’s Final Nightmare in here.”

Fortunately a quick application of gauze and a band-aid staunched the flow of lifeblood, and my colleague suffered no permanent ill effects. 

The moral of the story: beware broken bottles, lest lifeblood be loosed! 

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