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Thursday, May 12, 2005

Pork Chop Oink

Pork Chop Oink, by Sean Woods

Agent of CHAOS File: Pork Chop Oink

Alias: Pork Chop Oink
Affiliation: Minions of CHAOS
Real Name: Pork Chop Oink
Height: 2 cm
Weight: 100 g
Hair: None
Eyes: Black
Distinguishing Features: is a pork chop
Costume: None (sometimes wears pimp clothes)
Birthplace: Unknown
Birthdate: Unknown
Powers: Enticing aroma; sentient, can speak
Skills: None
Vulnerabilities: Knives and forks
Equipment: None
Secret Origin: Unknown
Notes: Also known as "les grand jambon avec les yeux"
Quote: "Oink!"

Little is known about Pork Chop Oink. He has been working with the Minions of CHAOS since at least 1987, and probably for far longer. His super-powers are undaunting, but his malice and vitriol are unmatched by any in the Minion camp, including such bitter stalwarts as Irrational Carrot, Teeth-Filled Cyst, and The Amazing UGH!.

When last encountered, Pork Chop Oink was working in Detroit, Michigan, as a pimp. When turned down for a date, Pork Chop Oink is often heard to complain, "What am I, chopped oink?"

1 comment:

susan_rn92 said...

This is making me hungry. We are having pork schnitzel and spatzels tonight.