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Wednesday, May 03, 2006

They Are Not Barbies

I'm Clark Kent!

No! I'm Superman!

The other day I picked up the coolest action figure ever - a Clark Kent representation that changes into Superman! I've wanted a Clark Kent figure for ages, but this is even better.

Sylvia calls my action figures "Barbies." But they are not Barbies. They are action figures. Manly action figures! And I have them because they are important to my lifelong study of popular culture.


"Great Scott! That airplane - its engines are on fire! This looks like a job...for SUPERMAN!"

SWWWOOOOSH! Quick, Superman, catch the plane! Use your heat vision to weld the engine back onto the wing! Oh oh, turbulence! Push, Superman! PUSH! Almost at the runway! Easy - decelerate gradually so you don't kill the passengers inside! Five seconds to! 314 men, women and children, safe and sound!

"Gee, thanks Superman!"

"No problem, Captain - I'm glad I could help. Whoops, excuse me - gotta fly."



See? Action. They're not Barbies.


Sean Woods said...

But isn't Barbie all about "action?"

Anonymous said...

That's right, Sean.

Shopping for the perfect outfit and matching shoes is all about action. Staying pretty while managing several career changes and boyfriends takes a lot of work. Makes flying around in ones pajamas and "rescuing" people to make up for having a teeny, tiny penis, quite sad, no?

They both seem silly when you are still playing with them at the age of 37..

A Barbie is a Barbie is a Barbie..