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Friday, June 29, 2007

Hail Naes!

From: Earl J. Woods
Sent: Thursday, June 28, 2007 8:37 PM
To: Sean Woods

From: Sean Woods
Sent: Thursday, June 28, 2007 9:09 PM
To: 'Earl J. Woods'

I will watch this, no matter how horrible it is.

Hopefully it has dialogue that compares to that of the 1980 film.

“Congratulations, Flash – you’ve saved your Earth. Have a nice day.”

From: Earl J. Woods
Sent: Thursday, June 28, 2007 9:24 PM
To: 'Sean Woods'

Premieres the day before the wedding…what kind of omen is that?

From: Sean Woods
Sent: Friday, June 29, 2007 5:09 PM
To: 'Earl J. Woods'

It disgusts me that you do not know the answer to this question. Very well, I will provide you with the meaning of the release date.

It OBVIOUSLY means that you need to hire a Ming stand-in that will make the crowd believe that Sylvia is being forced to marry him against her will. The vows to be used will be pulled directly from the 1980 Flash Gordon movie. When Sylvia gives the answer “I will NOT” to Ming’s vows/proposal, you will crash through the wall/windows/doors in your Corolla, which incidentally will be rigged to look like War Rocket Ajax. The crowd will scatter, and you will get out of the Corolla/WR Ajax and say “Forget it Ming, Sylvia’s with me!” You will push “Ming” to the ground, Dad will kick him in the ribs (in true Bob Woods fashion), and the wedding will commence as “normal.”

There. I’ve planned your wedding.

1 comment:

Liam J. said...

Could I be Ming? Not that I have any designs on Sylvia, just that... well, I'm already bald, I live pretty close and I feel like I'm missing out, never having been kicked in the ribs by Bob Woods.