Friday, February 21, 2014

A Question of Fashion

Sylvia is horrified whenever I wear white socks during the winter. She says that it just isn't done. But this seems wrong to me; it seems like the perfect time, because white socks match white snow.

It seems perfectly reasonable to me. It's not like women stop wearing white blouses in the winter time. 

1 comment:

"Ship In A Jefftle" said...

I am going to go out on a limb here, and suggest that your Sylvia is very much a refined lady with fine taste and a tremendous sense of style.

You, on the other hand, throw all of your colours into the wash all at once.

Before the atomic age, and when there were more wealthy people about who yet were not absurdly wealthy, as in a psychopathic upper class that did not consist of the 1% that we now all now know and love, there were certain codes of dress. You did not wear white in the interval after Labour Day and before the first day of Spring. This was largely (and arbitrarily) intended for formal banquets outside of tropical locations (in the tropics, you can wear formal white any day), but familiarity with the bourgeoisie watered the rule down to "No White After Labour Day" for any sort of clothes, a guideline which for contemporary people of good breeding is still considered a hallmark of sartorial finesse.

However, now we live in the information age, and social media. We are not comfortable unless we take down all the lines of tradition, mix them onto a plate with bolognaise, and then eat them like spaghetti (but first post the pics to Pinterest!).

So these days, we have a sop to the old ways called "Winter White", which means we can wear white any day of the year. The trick is to wear something that is just off-white, like your laundry-greyed socks.

So, you get an out, should you choose to use it. Throwing your white socks in with the colours in the hot wash does indeed grant you Winter White. However, as a dutiful husband, you should know that if you make this play, Sylvia will simply crush you like an insect in some other future argument that you may have wanted to win. You can win this one for the sake of winning, but if I were you, I'd pick the battles where winning would do you good, and go shopping for some nice coloured socks for now.

Also, since I am sometimes prescient by mistake: